It's stopped raining. Still windy though. I should get up and do something. No energy or want to.

I used to wonder why. Not anymore. I look at myself and don't like what I see. I look older than my years.

Is it worth it? Do I still care? YES, it is and I do!

Don't mind me, just random thoughts. I would rather be alone. I look at the clock to check the time, not really looking forward to the noise, the chatter when everyone gets home.

I wish I was back at work. I enjoyed my job. I am an electrician by trade. That's what my Father was. Have always enjoyed working with my hands. Took a company job for the last five years I worked. I miss it. I miss my Father. We would have talked about all this. He would listen. He used to talk to me about his horrors of WWII. He needed to talk about it. I would listen.

Everybody needs someone to talk to who will listen. Just listen. And those that do the listening also need someone to listen while they talk. Don't you think?

We moved about three years ago. It was hard on the kids. My wife took a better job, so we moved. Kids are resilient, it's easier for them to adapt. Harder for grownups. My close friend and I used to take turns listening to the others troubles. You don't get many friends like that. Now he's not around anymore.

I used to draw. Horses mostly. Pastels. I painted one for my Father back in '85. When he passed, my Mother told me, he wanted me to have it. None of my children new I had painted it. My youngest daughter loved it and asked me to do one for her. Never did finish it.

I should have finished it for her. Life is too short. But over the last 7 years it has been too long.