Why is it so easy for the one emotion, anger, to rear its ugly head when you're depressed? It only makes me feel worse afterwards. Yet, that seems to be the norm with me. I just had a huge argument with my spouse. I hate that it happened. I knew I was depressed and knew better than to try to talk. I know I'm not really angry at anybody but myself, and yet I take it out on the ones I love.
I was reading some of the other posts and one in particular was asking if it was better to be with someone while depressed or to be alone. I sometimes wish I were alone. Like now! I am alone during the weekdays, from seven til four. When I'm depressed, I dread the time when everyone gets home. I'd rather not have to talk.
It has to get better doesn't it? Been almost eight years and I'm still waiting.
I've tried so many different anti-depressants. There's bound to be one that makes me feel like trying.
On a brighter note, last Friday went great for my son on homecoming nite. He didn't make King, but he looked great. Was so proud of him. And the football team won as well.
I am just as proud of my other son as well. It's his first year running cross country and he's on the varsity squad. He came in eighth place for Saturdays meet.
Starting this past Sunday my depression returned with a vengence. Been that way ever since. I get to a point where it just seems like there's no way back up. Maybe ya'll have been there. It's no fun. But then sometimes life's no fun either.
Why does it hurt so much? Why does mental pain seem worse than physical pain? I've had my share of physical pain over the years. But that always goes away and our minds tend to block out the memory of that pain.
This helps. I mean, just writing it down helps. I don't like to bother anyone with my troubles, so thanks for being there and listening. Hope life is treating you with the kindness you each deserve.
Rose here, Sometimes when theres a joyous happy event [ie your sons homecoming etc] we can get quite 'up' for awhile, then bump, we are down again and that feels awful coz we thought the Depression was gone. It doesnt go like that. Depression is a wake up call that things in your life need seeing to , that youre not happy about certain aspects of your life, besides being a chemical thing. If there were childhood issues and undealth with grief, sorrow, guilt, if you have problems with your relationship. Broken dreams, if onlys... ishould haves... these all lead to depression. You need to talk it out with a therapist or good pastor/counsellor The site is great but theres certain t hings you wouldnt share here obviously so you need a 1 to 1 situation. Alot of men suffer,yes real men, texans too !! Irish men tend to drink to drown their depression with resulting Suicides during drink binges. Now theyre going to the Therapist. Its not a weakness. Im v strong mentally. Im a survivor, but I do suffer terrible depressions. Theres light at the end of the tunnel. You cant see it just now Misplaced Texan but if you want to hurry along that dark space and see some light youve got to talk out things, even things youve buried, forgotten, wanted to forget, or it could be you always had a low self esteem underneath the macho stuff that men have to play out. Im no doctor. I am a seasoned sufferer, things will get better but youve gotta get help. Meanwhile use the site. It sounds like you really need a Medication to give you a good kick start into getting better. Thats treating the leaves for a disease, if the tree is to stay healthy, you gotta get to the root cause, in the soil of your heart and soil
I send you love and best wishes from Ireland. Go get prof. help - Please !!