There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child I had a FEVER. My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain, you would not understand
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.
Pink Floyd "Comfortably Numb"
We are going to pick up our series on depression symptoms with a discussion about feeling emotionally numb. A couple of weeks ago we had a very insightful conversation about the feeling of hopelessness and you can still contribute your thoughts and shared experiences to that post. Although there are many textbook lists of depression symptoms, my wish is to get away from the medical talk and get real. What are depressive symptoms truly like for those who suffer from them? What are they like for our loved ones and caretakers to witness? How do we cope? I am hoping that this series will initiate an on-going dialogue for all those who are dealing with depression and its many flavored nuances.
What is emotional numbness and what causes it?
Emotional numbness is the inability to feel much of anything. Things that used to make us feel happy or elicit a smile produce a weak response or nothing. Likewise things that should provoke us to anger or even tears result in an apathetic response. It is a lack of emotion where there once was emotion. One of the causes can definitely be depression. I feel that this symptom results from feeling overwhelmed and overburdened by life's challenges to the point where you just can't feel anymore. You are too tired and weary to emote. It can also be a protection against feeling too much as in after a trauma. It can be the process of shock where we simply cannot take in the emotional reality of what is going on. The mind is protecting itself from too much pain.
The irony is that some of the antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications we use to overcome mood disorders can also cause emotional numbness. My short lived experience taking amitriptyline and then Prozac gave me a feeling of being flatlined emotionally. I wasn't sad but I also wasn't happy. I was simply there.
Some people achieve numbness through addictions to drugs and alcohol or even food. Addictions can be a way to escape very painful feelings and achieve that feeling of numbness.
The problem with emotional numbness is that you may be avoiding pain but you are also avoiding all the good emotions too like happiness and love. It is like sitting on the curb and watching life pass by without truly living it yourself.
What is your personal definition of emotional numbness and what do you feel is the cause?
What does emotional numbness feel like?
I was recently on the Dr. Oz show talking about depression and one of my fellow depression sufferers shared a very poignant story about what it is like to be emotionally numb. This woman shared that she would go out into the bitter cold of winter and wait until her skin was freezing. She would then pinch her cheeks just to feel that pain, so she could know she was alive. Her story brought tears to my eyes as I can relate.
