If you suffer from depression you may have been told at one point or another that your thinking is distorted and that you have unrealistic perceptions of the world. Isn’t that what cognitive behavioral therapy is all about? Changing the way we think so that we feel better? And somewhere down the line you may have also been told that you are a pessimist or engage in negative thinking due to your depression. Some even say that negative thinking is a primary cause for depression. But what if someone told you, you may be depressed but you are absolutely accurate about a lot of things?
Like for example, that you were right about your friend’s boyfriend being a bad egg, unscrupulous and not to be trusted. Or that you’re your prediction of looming layoffs at your work ended up coming true. What about your uncanny ability to read body language and decipher tone to make the assumption that your mother-in-law really doesn’t like you? And then you find out from a second source that your “negative” assumption was grounded in reality. You may have gotten flack for your perceptions and you may be accused of being a glass half empty type of person. I prefer to call it, cutting through the cr** and seeing reality for what it is. Keep the glass I don’t need it.
There is a psychological term for this concept that people with depression possess the ability, in some situations, to perceive reality far better than their cheerier counterparts. This controversial concept is called depressive realism.
Many psychologists and researchers have something to say about this intriguing theory. In 1988 psychologists, Shelley E. Taylor and Jonathon D. Brown, reviewed evidence that non-depressed individuals held positive illusions in three domains:
• The non-depressed view themselves in unrealistically positive terms.
• They believe that they have greater control over environmental events than is actually the case.
• They hold views of the future that are more rosy than data could justify.
In essence, this theory proposes that the typical non-depressed person uses happy illusions to maintain their self esteem and get through the day. In comparison, the individual having mild to moderate depression is reported to have a more realistic perspective of his or her image as well as in interpreting information from the external world. Some would caution to not extrapolate that all happy people are necessarily delusional nor does it mean that people with depression are not sometimes distorted in their thinking. Yet this theory does seem to give a silver lining to having what some people call a depressive personality.
According to this theory maybe we who suffer from depression are not negative but merely realistic in our self appraisal as well as our perceptions of our environment.
Of course there are many who would dispute this claim because it seems illogical to trust anything outside of what we deem as “normal” thinking. Author Christopher Putnam, in his article entitled, “The Total Perspective Vortex” explains:
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Hi, Merely Me. I have heard about this theory, as well, and I believe it. I can't tell you how many times I was told I had an "attitude problem" in school and at work because I would see things implemented that seemed so stupid, it was hard to believe someone with a higher education could even think this way. At work, we would have these periodic "programs" like "Have a Good Day" where you were supposed to use that little smiley icon on everything. Oh, then we had to be rated on "leadership attributes." It didn't matter if you were in a position where you had no one to lead, you'd still get rated on things like "comes up with new and innovative ideas" or "is able to steer the group to successful outcomes." Give me a break. We weren't getting paid enough to do the leadership that the people who WERE getting paid enough should have been doing.
Anyway, I've always seen myself as someone with a decent amount of common sense, but it's never been considered "politically correct" to be the one to call attention to the absence of "The Emperor's New Clothes" or to the fact that some "new" rearrangement of things is not a reinvention of the wheel. I do like to find something hopeful about most things, but I guess I'm certainly not one of those who keep themselves delusionally "happy" and have to put a positive spin on everything. Sometimes, there just is nothing positive about a thing and then you have to deal with it and figure out how you're going to live with it or work around it.
I did feel rather vindicated when I read about this theory a while back - I'm NOT crazy!!
You are most certainly not "crazy" Judy.
But such a workplace environment can make you feel like that. I am sure you began to doubt your own reality. I don't know how this so frequently occurs in so many workplaces...this need for nonsense. You ever notice how many cutesy big print business books there are written by gurus? Like...who moved my cheese or...any other tale about cute little animals written as a business allegory? What is this need? Maybe there is some smiley face book out there which gave them this idea at your job.
I can relate similar stories...let me know if you want to hear them.
I bet...you just simply wanted to do your job. But no...you were forced into smiley face land. Big business...it's a gas.
Excellent post - but can you be both Optimistic and Realistic? I am one of those relentlessly cheery people...life hands me lemons and I make lemonaide.
But - I have a laser-beem realistic view - I read body language expertly, see layoffs coming a mile away and know the "slings and arrows" of outrageous fortune.
Yet, I am not depressed. I am the queen of putting things into persepective.
Sure, I had a 3 cm brain tumor in 2001 but how many children die everyday from cancer and brain tumors - surely, I can persevere through recovery or dying with equal grace? Sure, work is driving me crazy but how many people are out of work and would be thrilled to have my challenges? You bet that some people don't like me or insult me - but I take the high road - it hasn't failed me yet.
Is there a category of "choosing to stay positive but realistic? Two people from work just sent me an angry/accusing emails. Sure, I grumbled about their tone privately for about 10 seconds -- then I put on my big girl panties and found a way to turn the negative around into a positive. I responded with the correct information (they were both misinformed) but I thanked them for their analysis of the situation and for reaching out to me. The next emails from them said "THANKS for doing such a great job!" Ta -da
I start my mornings with Mighty Mouse's song "Here I come to save the day!" Whether I feel like it right then or not....it's important for me to getting charged up and psyched up to choose to be my very best self each day.
That may be too sugary-sweet for some but it works for me. My Mom suffered from depression and I saw the dark clouds in her eyes and her Eeyore view of the world. Nope. Not for me.
I have a similar way of dealing with reality while keeping myself from falling into the abyss, so I certainly can relate to your point of view. I actively try to look at any positive aspect I can find, no matter how small, while staying very aware of the harsh reality. Just because life really does suck doesn't mean you have to be a grinch while acknowledging the truth. Sometimes you have to take a deep breath and force yourself to let it all go. After all, you have little control over it, so why torture yourself? If you start by letting go of the little things that don't really matter, you eventually realize that nearly all negative issues are just little things! Then you start to see the few things that really matter in life, like your health, your loved ones and the precious moments we share with them. Everything else is really just small potatoes!...
I love mighty mouse!
Great stuff here...I think you should write a sharepost to talk more about your experiences.
Thanks so much for your comment.
I'm also a strange mix of ridiculously optimistic as well as realistically cynic. There are old sayings that support this approach... "Walk softly and carry a big stick"... "God helps those who helps themselves". I attribute some of my optimistic 'give me lemons and I'll make lemonade' to a logical perspective as well. Being positive gives you the strategic upper hand in most situations. Notice that I said 'positive' and not 'enthusiastic'. There's a difference. One can be positive towards people but not always towards ideas. In fact, I've challenged ideas while being so damn optimistic people don't take it wrong. And, yes, I make cynical determinations and act according to them... and keep that to myself. I prefer cynical accountants and business analysts. I take their advice, and run with whatever I want to.
I am so glad I stumbled onto this article. I suffer from Depression and Realism. I am accused of being negative if I say the lakes are drying up and they are. Am I supposed to pretend they are overflowing? I am so sensitive to the suffering of others that I don't even know. My heart breaks over abused children yet I get asked "why do you read that stuff?" It seems to me that society wants us to pretend life is always up when it is not. I am happy and very grateful for what I have and more so than others. I am a very giving person unlike some of the "all about me" I work with. Yet if you are not smiling and floating in the clouds you are perceived as never happy or depressed all the time. This is not the case!
Laughing about Mighty Mouse. The problem is, I've saved the day over and over and over again, for going on 30 years, and the world still seems fit to turn it into used kitty litter by the next morning.
I know I'm not crazy. I know that men approaching age 50 get depressed. Guess why? 10 years ago I was saving the world from it's own stupidity. You know what? It didn't matter. The world didn't want to be saved, and clung to it's own stupidity like a drowning man clinging to a board rather than reaching for a raft. Now, 10 years later, all I have to show for all that effort is a declining salary, declining health, one home and a couple hundred thousand dollars burned up, no savings, no retirement, and still sitting in a cube. I'm depressed because my life SUCKS. Go ahead, convince me otherwise.