Hi, Merely Me. I'd have to say that I'm a person who doesn't cry much except if I'm really depressed or something has touched me in an exceptional way. On the other hand, I've been known to cry at weddings of people I hardly know and usually, funerals get to me, especially the music. If it seems like any little thing makes me cry, it's usually a sign that my depression is worse. I generally do feel better afterward IF I have some connection with somebody in the midst of it. If I watch a sad movie, crying usually makes me feel worse, almost more so if someone else is with me and I'm not really sure why. It feels embarrassing, I guess.
When I was growing up, crying was not reacted to very well. In fact, if I were having a difficult time with something, my mother would get herself all worked up over it and then tell me how awful SHE felt and that she couldn't sleep because of it, etc., etc. You can imagine how much I wanted to share anything with her after a while. But I think it's also made me a little less patient with people, sometimes, who can't be empathetic but want every ounce of sympathy from others that they can get. Maybe they can't help it. I try to remember that it's probably a needy child part of them that acts that way.
Anyway, interesting post. I really admire John Boehner for being able to accept who he is. People can make fun of him all they want, but there's nothing wrong with being emotionally sensitive - even if you're a guy!! It brings a bit of honesty and reality to the picture and is rather refreshing.
Hi Judy!
I feel like I do the most crying when I am hormonal. Then I can look at a sad commercial...usually the ones about the abused pets does me in...and I start to bawl.
That is interesting about crying at movies...I feel the same way! I want to hold it back but then there I am blubbering away.
That must have been so hard for you that your mother stole the show whenever you needed help. I would lose patience quick. You are a very understanding person. Was there ever any insight on your mother's part that she was doing this and the effect it had on others?
Thanks so much for commenting...I hope others chime in as well.
I would never let myself cry in front of others, not even when my Mom passed away. Why? Good question.... There was a period of quite a few years where I had isolated myself so much that I couldn't cry. Going through the motions, work, live, numb. I would abuse alcohol just to feel something.
In the past few years though a lot of stuff seems to be able to make me cry, but only if I allow it to. Well not quite true, more recently I've had a couple of conversations where I couldn't hold it back. Not liking that at all.
Hi Flo
Crying can make one feel uncomfortable. In my twenties when I was going through therapy for the first time...it took almost a year before I could allow myself to cry...even there where it is supposed to be safe. It can make you feel very vulnerable. But I do think it can be healthy...as opposed to blocking those emotions.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience here.
This forum is such a blessing for me, and I'm thankful to have found it. Last Wednesday in therapy I just couldn't control my emotions and was crying hysterically for over a half hour. It got so intense that my therapist came over to me and asked if I needed a hug. I told her no even though I so badly wanted help through this. Instead she had to help me breath as I began to hyperventilate. I went back the next evening and once again couldn't control myself. The positive to all this is that she said I finally let her in.
Hi Rick!
I am glad you found us. May I ask how you found our site?
It sounds like you have a very compassionate therapist. Sometimes such crying is a breakthrough...you have finally got the core of your emotions. As I was just commenting to Flo...it took me almost a year before I let go and cried in therapy. It seemed so hard for me but once I did...it felt right.
Looking forward to hearing more from you and how your therapy is going. Please keep writing and sharing.
I found the site by chance, really. Last week when I was feeling like the my world was collapsing I beagn researching about depression. Some how I saw this site and was drawn to read the postings. Wow, real people experiencing what is happening to me. Since I began therapy with my therapist in July, I've never felt so isolated, in despair, and hopeless. The office in which I am being treated is a small privately owned firm in which the Psychologist who oversees the operation believes in treating the whole person and not just the symptoms. Also offered is the Rosen Method Bodywork by a psychotherapist that goes beyond traditional therapy and unlocks the stuck places that are impeding one from finding the cause of ones sufferings. Well this alternative therapy unlocked my repressed memories and caused me to have to face my fears.
Well it also exacerbated some depression but allowed me for the first time in my life to express my true hidden emotions. Unfortunately for me it led to an emotional breakdown and uncontrollable crying. At times it was so intense that I had a difficult time breathing normally. While embarrassing as my therapist said, "Rick, you've finally let me in." That's a good thing. Now all I have to do is get the daily vomiting under control and it will be fine.
Another contributor to the depression was found to be 50 mg. of an anti-anxiety med. I was taking and unknown to me the pharmacy had given me 50mg. tabs of a beta-blocker and should have been 25 mg. So for a week I had been overdosing on the beta-blocker, and the Zoloft 50mg. was suspected to be adding to the depression feelings as I also had developed some weird suicidal thoughts.
As for my therapist, she really is an amazing woman. Actually the three women that are treating me are simply truly compassionate, passionate, and most of all available whenever you need them. For a few weeks I was actually experiencing transference with my therapist, but I think I got beyond it last week when I realized my wife still does care about me and wantes me to heal.
Rick44
It's amazing to see this writing on crying when that's all I seem to be able to do lately. I have Chronic servere depression and have suffered with it for too many years. During the first few years of therapy, when I would leave, I found I had to sit in my car and cry for a while before o could calm down enough to drive home. It did get better after a while, a long while actually.Then, I lost my psychiatrist of 20+ years abruptly.I have a new one whom I like and am building a good relationship with but suddenly the tears after therapy are coming again. I don't know if I am afraid he isn't going to be there the next time or what it is.It is like I don't want to leave him. I certainly understand that is unreasonable and childish. Since that started happening, it seems like the tears are always right there. It takes very little to turn them on and a lot to turn them off.
Thanks Merely Me for writing about this. How often do you get to talk about your tears.
Hi Nanypat!
Hey...first off...it is not unreasonable or childish to fear leaving your therapist. You have just had a major loss of your other doctor. It makes total sense to me that you may have intense feelings. Therapy is hard...you go there for the session but...it is only an hour or less and then you are left with all these unsettled feelings.
Tears...are a part of the process of healing from my perspective.
I am looking forward to hearing more about how things are going for you.
Hi Merely Me and all,
I know it has been quite some time since I have posted, and that is a long story in itself, so I won't divert, but to say both of us have been very sick, helping each other and we are just coming through nasty bronchitis so we are OK. When I read the post about crying, I asked myself "where are my tears?" I am a deeply sensitive person who honors when I cry and feels good afterwards. But I realized when I read your post that my anxiety and emotions were a bit "numbed" when Ed was just in the hospital (no cancer). I don't like the emotional numbness and had it when I took zoloft. Now I take prozac, and I admit it sure helped calm things down during the crisis, and that was good, but now I don't want that dull feeling. Prozac dulls other things too. Better talk to my psychiatrist and therapist.
I do cry at a good heart-rendering movie, or one with great heroism attached, whether at the movies or at home watching a DVD. Like Judy, major life events - weddings, funerals can set those tears right off. It can go either way with depression. I tend to withdrawal, but my husband and therapist I will continue to keep my emotiions open to. Caring friends are the best. A good hug during good times or tough times will certainly bring a tear!
Well, it is good to be on the site - May I say a very late "Happy New Year"
Sincerely, Gina
Hey Gina!
I have been wondering about you...so glad you popped back onto the site. I hope you guys feel better. It is the season for colds and flu and bronchitis.
I had the same experience when I briefly took Prozac. It seemed to numb me emotionally...and physically too.
Crying always feels better for me because...hey at least I am getting it out instead of just...feeling empty. But there are times when I hate to show that I am crying.
Anyways...really glad to see you. And I hope to see more of you here! Stay with us. Now if we could just get Rose to come and say hello...may day would be made.
In my opinion, crying is healthy sometimes. It is OK to express emotion. If the movie is very moving I would shed some tears. If I am frustrated with communicating with my folks I would cry but I try to be rational.
One of my sisters seems to think it is wrong to cry. Often she would comment that "she cried again because she saw her late husband in the coffin" or that "dont cry like a baby". She is so wrong. It is an expression and stop crying only suppress the feelings. Crying normally is nothing wrong!
Of course there is a limit to crying - if it is too much, then seek a therapist.
Nina
I'm crying right now. There's a chance one of my two grandsons will go to Spain for a year during his senior year in High School (next school year) I think it would be awful for him for various reasons and just had an argument with my daughter (his mom) about her wanting to let him do what he wants, if they can get financial aid, etc. I feel very unlistened to and also realize how much I'll miss him and this made me cry terribly and take several pills. He takes medication and I think he will not adapt to or like the Spanish culture. My father died when I was 5. i don't remember any of the events at that time. A therapist once suggested whenever I feel very bad, it probably has something to do with loss. My daughter has one other darling son a few years younger, but there are no other grandchildren. Besides my own feeling of loss, which I DON'T want to influence me, I am terrified of uprooting him from a place he's finally made for himself here and in HS, being in all the theater and choral programs there, He despises sports of any kind and is on two meds for years now -one for depression, the other for ADD.
I've taken several pills because i just can't cope with this. I start therapy next week a I haven't gone in a while. I'm on lots and lots of antidepressants and anxiety medication. I can't seem to cope at all well with things that mean a lot to me. We moved up here to be near our only two grandchildren. My other daughter has chosen not to have kids. My husband is always here for me but I'm a very lonely and alienated person, even though I am fairly active in the a secular type church we joined 2 years ago. We go to movies, eat out, go to classes, etc. so it's not like I do nothing. I don't have good social skills or coping skills.
\
I'm just waiting for my pills to put me into sweet oblivion for a while.
Catwoman
Thank you for you reply. I like the way you post and respond here. I was usually over the ourAlzheimer's area because my father-in-law has Alzheimer's and now he is in a nursing home. I need my life too...
Good news is I now would like to go back to the job market with someone's help. Will be something to do.
My sister used to cry when she was younger but I guess now she tells herself not to cry as a career woman so she tells other people not to cry... It is a cultural thing too. She is conservative and likes to be strong. It is just strange that she would blame me on crying... If she sees other people (like my othe sister) crying, she seems to have this thing about "it should not happen?"
My father-in-law does not cry much and he only cried (the only time I saw) when he saw his late wife's body in the funeral home.
Well once or twice I cried all day over one issue such as something about my past - about the hurt that I suffered. So far for 2 days I would cry all day or most of the day and got sick!! (I am not strong if I get a cold out of tears...)
Wonder maybe I need a therapist for that. Some issues that remain. Something about family will not understand my hurt. Once was the nightmare too. Is this a problem?
Take care,
Nina
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hi mm
I have a hard time controlling my emotions
I cry sometimes when i want to cry i cant
Very confusing at times
Last weekend was a wreck
I have a hard time writing my thoughts are scattered
Jon
Hi Jon
I think you are doing well in explaining things. I have experienced this too...sometimes I cry too easily and other times I can't feel anything enough to cry. I don't think this is that uncommon.
Hang in there. I hope this week goes better for you.