What are the personal qualities you look for in a therapist? Do you feel that the personality of the therapist is critical for your success in therapy? Have you ever had a therapist you did not connect with? What happened as a result?
Actually for me, this therapist in particular, I wanted a female who has an understanding of, well, crossdressing and transgenderism. The group she is with and in particular the psychologist/owner of the practice has an extensive backgound in abnormalities such as mine. I call it an abnormality, not them. I've always and still at the present prefer to have females present within my medical care. I think for me, I relate more positively towards female practitioners as they seem to "care" more than the dudes I've seen in the past.
I do believe that it is of utmost importance to connect with your therapist. For me therapy is my safe place, where I feel the most comfortable. The office(s) are located in small neighborhoods and that adds calmness to the experience, if only for me.
Yes, I didn't connect with a PH.D before my current four. This PHD was a recent Graduate and she didn't really seem that interested. I recall her checking her watch one time when I'm verbalizing some message, and then I asked her if she was passionate about her career. When she went on leave for a month, I got out, and have never regretted it. It was one of the best decisions I ever made.
First of all, about the post notifications -- no, I have been surprised when people did not answer me, only to check and see that they did, I was just not notified through my email. It has only happened twice in the last week or two.
And about therapists and therapy, I am of two minds. One, is that they can do a lot of good if they really know what they are doing. And I think a lot of that might be experience, but a lot of it is also personality and personal style and personability. That's why you might not necessarily "click" with the first one you try. Two, is that they can do a lot of harm in many ways. In my personal experience, for example, I happened to be with three different therapists who thought that suicidal thoughts were a taboo subject. And if you happen to be suicidal, that is something you REALLY need to talk to your therapist about. So, it is a good idea to go the first time and have a set of questions like, "Are there any taboo subjects or topics you feel uncomfortable discussing with me?" Or, "Do you think spiritual faith is a topic we can explore?" And maybe, "Can we discuss sexual abuse," or wherever you are coming from. As well as general questions like whether you will be charged for missed sessions, what happens if it is the therapist who misses a session, whether a credit card is accepted, and all those necessary logistical questions that need to be gotten out of the way. One thing my "main" therapist did that I didn't like, but never mentioned, was she played soft music in the background all the time. I think maybe it was to muffle our voices in case anyone outside in the waiting room could hear our discussion. But there are better ways to take care of that. The music was distracting. You must be, above all, honest and up-front with all your needs and questions and suggestions. It is not easy to do, especially if one of your problems is seeking your therapist's approval. But it is necessary.
I am on my second day of cymbalta. I was seeking information on other ppls experiences with the medication when I found this community. About me: I have tried cognitive behavior therapy once before, but I just felt that the therapist wasn't as deep in her spirit or as openminded as me. I felt as though I was wasting my money and time. I'm certain that I need help dealing with generalized anxiety disorder. Out of nowhere I have extremely horrible fear attack me, like something is going to happen to one of my children or the bottom is going to fall out from under me, even when things are going well. I have issues that should have been dealt with years ago (rape, teenage pregnancies, alcoholism in my parent) before it got this point. What i mean is I feel like it affects my children now that they are teenagers. I'm so protective and strict at times. I have a very demanding job and so many responsibilities that on most days I feel like I can't go on. So, my family doctor prescribed cymbalta. I'm hoping it helps me to lose some weight (30 lbs overweight), the GAD, and mood swings. Anymore advice on cymbalta vs pristiq? I also would like to be getting some help with a psychiatrist, but high deductible healthcare has prevented it...
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Hi, Merely Me - glad your test is over with. Was I right about the minute, or was it worse?
Anyway, I'm pasting your questions here so I can remember:
What are the personal qualities you look for in a therapist? Do you feel that the personality of the therapist is critical for your success in therapy? Have you ever had a therapist you did not connect with? What happened as a result?
I don't think I knew what qualities I was looking for, except that I knew I wanted a female and someone older than I was. I'm not sure it was about personality, more about wanting to feel understood and not judged. I think I wanted someone who could tell me if I sounded crazy or was making too much out of something. And I also realized that I needed to feel safe, absolutely safe. I was lucky to find all that.
I did have a therapist for a short time, required before some surgery, who kept giving me these little depression index quizzes, which I was failing. When I talked some about my childhood and having forgotten things that happened, he practically laughed at me and said children don't forget. I knew that was b.s. My regular therapist confronted him about that. Anyway, I finally decided to fake the depression quiz (it was pretty obvious how the questions should be answered to NOT look depressed) and got the heck out of there. He gave me the creeps. What I got out of that was to trust my gut. I've met some incompetent psychiatrists along the way, too, that my son had and now I can spot them pretty quickly. The biggest giveaway is the "I don't give a crap" attitude and wanting to hurry the appointment along. Anyway, don't get me started! There are definitely good ones out there and it might take work to find the right one, but it's well worth it.