Hi Merely Me -
Excellent that you have a routine for when you start to feel the dark cloud floating over head.
I too try to nip it in the bud. Last year I moved out of my beautiful home because neighbors were feuding and I found the environment too stressful. My place is in a trendy area that's rather congested.
So to cheer myself up I rented a beachfront pad with two floors, both bolstering a whopping 14 feet of ocean view. I've only been here seven months. Last week the owner called and wants to move back in. I've already had a rough year in only these 2 1/2 months and I have no fight left in me, so I'm moving.
Here's what I've come to realize. The abnormally churning ocean a hundred feet from me is because of the devastating tsunami in Japan. My problems quite pale in comparison to the annihilation thousands and thousands are experiencing right now.
This morning when I thought I might have to vacuate I started to pack... There were three things I was taking: my computer (my work's on it), my dogs and my favorite beat up hat I got for volunteering for a clean our oceans fundraiser. That's it. I have nice things, valuable, irreplaceable art even, but that's all I wanted.
Having to move after seven months (I tend to stay places for years and years), my work frustration, all my personal drama... put into perspective this morning.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not doing cartwheels or blowing bubbles by any means, but helped me see the difference between massive disaster and major inconvenience.
1. How would you rank this week on a scale of 1-10. Since I've had to home hunt and have not gotten any work done, which is the most frustrating part - I rate my week a 5. 2. What were the challenges you faced this week? Did you find any way to cope with them? See above. 3. What were the highlights of this week? Did you have any moments of happiness however fleeting? Did you find any moments of peace? Tell us about these times. I surfed 3 days this week. One day was really big, windy, cold and quite challenging... but I was out there. 4. What are you doing to prevent the symptoms of depression? Do you have any rituals or practices which help you to stay afloat? Please share them here. It could help someone else who is going through a bad time. I too take a handful of supplements. Funny when I get really down - when I need them the most - I forget to take them. Exercise, exercise, exercise... makes such a huge difference. I forced myself on my treadmill this morning. But always feel better after. I try to remember to reach out to friends, too. Think I'll do that now... Have a great weekend all!
My week was something like an off-the-scale earthquake. My mom fell Tuesday night and broke her back. I have been with her ever since and will probably be moving back in with her soon because this is a long-term thing. She can do very little by herself right now. Monday I'll take her for an MRI at the hospital and they will give her some kind of "cement shot" between the compressed vertebrae to keep them apart and hopefully alleviate some of the pain. I hate that this happened...for both of our sakes. That may sound selfish but I was really enjoying living on my own. I spent all day today taking her for x-rays, waiting for the doctor to call back, picking up pain meds at the pharmacy (have you ever been to a Walmart pharmacy on Friday afternoon?) And I had promised to take dinner to a friend whose husband recently had surgery, so I had to prepare that and deliver it. And in the middle of the day my niece and her baby and my nephew came by with lunch (thank goodness) and stayed a couple of hours. I got to take a short nap while they were here.
I did get to do some painting with a friend for 2 hrs yesterday afternoon. That was fun and relaxing.
Why is it that I want to cope by going shopping for clothes? That must make me feel better. But I didn't have time to go shopping today. Maybe tomorrow I can get way for a while.
Oh, Donna, I'm so sorry that happened to your mother. Is it possible that she could get some rehab care at a nursing home for a while, rather than your having to move in with her? When my mother had a knee replacement, she stayed in a nursing home for a week or two until she could get around okay by herself, as none of us were in a position to take care of her, including my dad. I hope that at least you don't have to give up your apartment. I know you care about her very much, but don't forget to take care of yourself, too.
I hope she's better soon, but I know it will be tough for a while. Don't forget to keep in touch with us!
Thank you, Judy. I heard a woman preacher on the radio this week -- she was talking about trying to please people. She said, "Do you think Jesus tried to please everyone all the time? Of course not! He irritated some people so much that they crucified him!" I hadn't thought of it that way. She said Jesus was the Prince of Peace not because he brings peace to the world, but in part because he was at peace with himself and with what he was able to do and/or not do for others. That God does not expect us to spend every minute waiting on others and trying to make them happy. I am still hoping to keep my apartment. No way my mother would go anywhere for help. She is able to walk with her walker and get up and down by herself, it is just that she can't bend over and pick up anything she drops, cannot open or close any cabinet or drawer, that sort of thing. My brother said he would "check his schedule and see if he had any time to come over next week." He is RETIRED! Why is he always busy with something else? I have a doctor appointment on Tuesday -- one I have had scheduled for 6 months. I'm not going to miss it, even if it means finding someone from church to drive Mom to the hospital for her MRI and procedure. And I may just go shopping tomorrow! I got $1600 back on a tax refund and might as well spend a little of it making myself happy, right? Money doesn't mean security, but it sure does help get you through a rough patch!
Donna, I'm glad you're going to do something enjoyable with your refund - you DO deserve it! And by all means, don't give up your doctor appointment. I'm sure your mother wouldn't want you to do that, either. I liked your story about Jesus making enough people irritated to crucify him! I never thought of that, either.
Hope your mother is soon getting around well by herself and there are no more earthquakes for you to deal with for a while, anyway.
Hi Donna,
I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum. I think Judy is right though, you can't just take it all on yourself - I believe that you've tried that in the past and gotten too drained by it. Which isn't surprising. Like you said nobody can please everyone else all the time. I'm glad you're going to keep your doctors appointment.
I really hope you're going ok, sounds rather full on for you at the moment.
1. How would you rank this week on a scale of 1-10.
like 6.
2. What were the challenges you faced this week? Did you find any way to cope with them?
I've come to find that when I'm with my friends I don't talk. Or when I'm with my family. I just add in little comments here and there and try like hell to speak when asked to. I don't know how to cope with it I feel so much different and out of place I have no personality any more. Today I found out my uncle is STILL fighting alcoholism. He was drinking those little sampler vodka bottles. He said he's in serious pain and doesn't know what's gonna happen so he apologized to us. It's got me down WAY down He's one of the best personalities in the whole family he means a hell of a lot to me so we told him to go to an ER I just hope he listened.
3. Didn't cut myself a single time. I finally got to an ER. And I enjoyed my iPod for a little while although I eventually lost interest.
4. What are you doing to prevent the symptoms of depression? Do you have any rituals or practices which help you to stay afloat?
I usually rely on friends but they're all at least an hours drive away and I can't play with the baby through a telephone or hug my niece through a text message. I don't know what to do about the symptoms I just try to live. Usually doing any meaningless repetitive task helps me but I've lost the will to do just about anything. My pills make me lethargic and kinda loopy sometimes which isn't that great. It's a small price to pay for relief of emotional torment, though.
Hi MerelyMe,
I'm sorry you've had such a tough week, but I admire the way you are fighting it. Taking care of yourself, and scheduling in fun things, is indeed the best way to try and keep back 'the beast', so to speak. I really hope it works.
1. How would you rank this week on a scale of 1-10. Maybe about a 6
2. What were the challenges you faced this week? Did you find any way to cope with them? I reached the end of my dip... and went into this hypo, antsy state I go into. I tried to exercise it out... and unfortunately made a few phone calls I shouldn't have. Thankfully nothing seems to have come from my silliness and I managed to refrain from acting on any of my other urges. Keeping moving helps with that... and just being really vigilant and questioning every little thing I'm doing.
3. What were the highlights of this week? Did you have any moments of happiness however fleeting? Did you find any moments of peace? Tell us about these times. I went to Canberra Saturday to see my friend. I live in Sydney so its a 3-4hr coach ride (I got some sleep in, lol), and then I wandered around before watching him act in a youth theatre performance. Before his performance, in a case of serendipity, we happened to walk down the same street at the same time from opposite ends, meeting in the middle! It was so cool. He laughed and joked 'this is so romantic' and opened his arms wide as he walked towards me so we could meet in a big hug. There is nothing romantic between us, we're just REALLY good friends (have you got anyone in your life that you don't have to worry how you are around them or work too hard... you just fit and get on? He, and my younger brother, are the only 2 people in my life like that). Then after he performed we talked for a little bit before he had to go back to prepare for an evening performance and I returned to get a coach home. Seems like a lot of travelling just for a few brief chats and just watching him act but it felt well worth it. He makes me smile. 
4. What are you doing to prevent the symptoms of depression? Do you have any rituals or practices which help you to stay afloat? I try to make sure I have time to relax - read, watch TV/DVDs, do puzzles. I try to exercise - the more antsy I get the more I will jog and do sit ups, etc (though I learnt the hard way that trying to do pull ups aren't my thing - I hurt myself). And I try to accomplish something within my day - house chores, some writing, an acting audition... something. Anything.
I have a really good male friend around whom I am entirely comfortable. We can and do talk about everything. Nothing is taboo, which is nice. I have known him since 1985, worked in the same office with him till 1997, and we dated after I separated from my ex. The dating thing didn't turn out well. We were so good together as friends and anything more intimate than that was just not meant to be. We still meet a couple of times a year for a hamburger or coffee and just talk, plus we send each other emails 2 or 3 times a week. So I know how it might be with your male friend, and what a blessing it is to have such a friend. I can be more open with him than anyone else. But at some point we both decided that we wanted to live alone and were more comfortable alone than with another person, even if that person was a good friend.
I know, too, how easy it is to hurt yourself with something like pull-ups. I remember as a young woman I had a chin-up bar mounted on my bedroom door and could do at least 10 chin-ups with no problem. Now, I can hardly hoist myself out of a chair. One day this week I was shaking some crumbs off of a kitchen towel and pulled a muscle in my shoulder. Ouch! I didn't realize I was in such bad shape. Now I am considering a gym membership so I can do some weight training and get those under-used muscles back in shape...for the next 52 yrs! I have seen my mother deteriorate horribly in the past 3 years, and now she has broken her back I see no turning back for her. I don't want to get that way anytime soon. I think I can deal with the thought of my own and my mother's aging and death to a degree, but I'm certain I know little of what she is really going through. She is afraid of the pain, which IS understandable.
Last week I was Dx'd with Rheumatoid Arthritis. When I submitted my dr. note to my work, they fired me. So...good to have answers...bad to be unemployed with no inusrance.....Yeah..really bad.
My gynecologist put me on Celexa and a low E HRT to help with my mood swings (thanks Prednsione) and depression from losing job and dealing with my Dx.
I have supportive family ( I currently live with my parents), and I have a nice bedroom, with all the comforts or needs I could ever want...I am lucky to have family who loves me in spite of me.
So...I am blessed. I am sick, but I have a pretty decent life and I am thankful for the family I have, my friends who are still my friends, and this website that lets me vent, bitch, moan, cry, and RAGE over things I don't understand in regard to my body..this betrayal of a body I love...I'm still working on it.
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. How would you rank this week on a scale of 1-10. I will say it was a 10
2. What were the challenges you faced this week? Did you find any way to cope with them? My challenges was not feeling lonely. I coped by going to breakfast with some people in my neighborhood that thrilled me and had fun.
3. What were the highlights of this week? Did you have any moments of happiness however fleeting? Did you find any moments of peace? Tell us about these times. The highlights was the breakfast and moments of peace was I wasn't depressed.
4. What are you doing to prevent the symptoms of depression? Do you have any rituals or practices which help you to stay afloat? Please share them here. It could help someone else who is going through a bad time. By spending time with my sister and my sweet dog. I haven't felt depressed since my Effexor was increased and my Klonopin also.
Hi LonelyOne,
I just wanted to say that it is so good to hear you've had such a great week. I could feel the happiness vibrating through your post. How great it is that your medication is working. And clearly you are working hard on your depression. Great work! I hope this good feeling continues.
Thank you Lyra, yes I am still feeling good.