When ever I am going through the motions as they call it. it makes me feel as though I am an alien, becuase I don't know anyone else that goes though this, and you can see that people who don't what I'm going through really don't know what to say. I believe that feeling like this really only makes things worse for me. I wish that we all just knew how to deal with this.
Hi there
I have felt that too. Some people just don't get it...and maybe they never will. But there are people who do get it and who have been there. It is just a matter of connecting to those who understand...the problem with depression is that it makes you not get out there and be social. Thus...it is hard to meet others who are going through the same things.
This is why these types of forums are of such value...as you can connect with others who are also battling a mood disorder...and you feel less alone.
Thank you so much for your comment.
I also feel like U don't belong here.You know I never fit in anywhere even at places i thought I would be able to fit into. It is both my depression and just me being authentic. I cannot stand superficiality...and I can't either be superficial it just feels bad.
I had and lost friends because of those two aspects. I really feel alone all the time even around people or even in my coversations with people. And sometimes I am scared that it will never go away...that I will never meet anyone who would stay with me and understand me as different as i am. I think so because i can't seem to achieve anything social...I have poor social skills i guess or maybe just unlovable or had to be loved.
I just feel like I will never have a chance in the world...I often wonder why I am still around(crying).
I feel so lost...I feel like I shouldn't live anymore.
Speaking of love relationships I don't see me having any of those no matter how much I wish I could have that.I just can't.
Nobody sees me for me...
i feel non-existent...
Hey there
We know you exist. And you have great worth and value. You are just not feeling that about yourself yet. It will come. I think our depression makes us feel like we are unlikable or unlovable but it isn't true. Depression whispers lies to us and over time we begin to believe them and live our lives as though they are true. Don't do that to yourself.
Bit by bit...it takes time to build your self esteem...take a look at what you did good today. Every small thing counts.
Keep talking to us. I am very glad that you are reaching out here. I hope it is making a difference.
I wouldn't say that my depression makes me different - in fact my depression has made me connect with people on one level (in group therapy and here, for example) whereas before I felt like I didn't belong anywhere. There are quite a lot of depressed people.
I have never fit in anywhere I have been (and I've lived in both Australia and England and been to both public and Catholic schools). I've always been an outsider. Some think that has contributed to my becoming depressed... but then nobody is sure where my depression started... still I would say that I was different before I was depressed. Even when I was very little I would escape off into my own little world, shutting the real world out, getting absorbed in things (like the TV or reading or some artistic activity or even watching an ant) to the point where I didn't notice anything that was happening around me at all. My mother likes to tell stories of such things - that is how I know I was like that because I was far too young to remember. Long before anyone ever thought about giving me a label such as depression.
At school I was outcasted... I learnt to read in the library when things got really tough because the other kids couldn't do TOO much to you in that quiet place where a librarian was always monitoring the situation. Not that it stopped them from doing stuff... they still came in and ganged up on me, but at least they were quiet about it and thus got bored faster and left me alone.
I had several imaginary friends - only getting rid of them when I was about 12 because the other kids caught me talking to myself and would tease me about it. Then I was truly alone...
Being different can be difficult but the funny thing is as I've become an adult I've realised an odd trend. At school everyone wanted to fit in - now they all want to stand out. All these people want to declare they are different, and get insulted if you say they are normal - I guess they just don't understand what it means to truly be different and have others attack you for it... Just an amusing thing I've noticed.
As always...you make a lot of good points Lyra.
I used to turn to books too for solace...reading about others going through things...no matter how different the cirumstance has always helped me. I like reading autobiographies for that reason.
So true that people want to be different...meaning to stand out...but not so much that it causes pain. Why is that kind of different okay...but to really be different...not so much?
Great to hear from you Lyra. I hope you post something soon...I want to hear how life is treating you.
Depression has made me feel hugely different than others. Or it used to. Now that I know so many people are affected by it, I don't feel so alone. But when I was in high school and college, I felt totally isolated as if I were living alone at the South Pole surrounded by ice and darkness. Each breath made me feel more frigid inside. Does it make me feel different now? Not so much so, because I know everyone has problems of one sort or another and my own problems are not so special. I can relax more now and just be who I am instead of trying to live up to some artificial standard.
Hey Donna
I am glad you have gone through this transformation. I feel this way too. It seemed so much harder to deal with feeling different when I was a teen or young adult. Now it almost seems like a badge of honor. I have paid my dues...I don't need to conform to someone else's standards of how to fit in. I am just me.
Thank you as always for your insightful comments.
Have been depressed for many years and on meds for it. Have been different for many years too, as long as can remember. I used to lie on the grass in my garden watching ants and hide in the library from all the 'clones' too!
I have recently discovered that I may well have Aspergers. This would explain a LOT! It would explain why I would say and do stuff growing up that would make me a target for the bullies and earn that kind of vague derision you are met with when you do not fit!
So, yes, I am different. I think I became depressed because I am different and that then had the effect of further isolating me from the world. As I have become more well in myself, due chiefly to a massive amount of good support and friendship, I have realised something - different is GOOD!!!
Why be a vanilla person in a world full of vanilla people? Sure, you have to play by the rules in order to get by but, beyond that - enjoy the fact that you are unique. A one off. A special creation!
Okay, it has taken me a loooooong time to get here, and this may well seem impossible to those of you who are still in a big dark pit at the moment. And yes, no-one enjoys the isolation and the deep grief of depression, but that is not a good different - that is called being unwell!
However if, like me, you can trace the roots of your depression back to a time where you were victimised or ostracised for not 'playing the game' then try to make peace with that person. You are who you were meant to be. No-one has the right to tell you otherwise.
If we were all vanilla people, all clones, then what a dull world this would be.
Vive la difference!!! 
I let my difference get me down a lot when I was younger. Made me a huge target for all the bullies. But I see them now and some of them have changed, too. Still jerks, but jerks in a larger field. Once you enter real life being a jerk is no longer accepted and you get nowhere.
But, since I have made friends equally as strange if not more so I am very happy with my difference.
I still feel like I don't necessarily "belong" in some senses. But I have met people who understand me and that's my greatest achievement yet. I didn't have to blend in, and I didn't have to conform or adhere. I'm REAL! The genuine article.
Featuring Content From:
By using this service, you accept our Terms of Use. Please read them. The consumer health information on is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. You should promptly seek professional medical care if you have any concern about your health, and you should always consult your physician before starting a fitness regimen. Copyright © 2012 Remedy Health Media, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
hi MM
I find being different very easy
I have never fit in
In school I was a loner outcast and definitely called weird
in school I was an easy target
in other occasions or places i went I also never fit in
I was sent to a special class That didnt help
I was picked on still When I was in the class and when I was 'mainstreamed' I still was
It left an empty spot in my heart one I still cant fill
Jon
Hi Jon
That sounds like a very painful experience. Things like that leave emotional scars. Did any of your teachers help you through this time? Was there anyone who supported you? Do you have any advice for kids who went through what you went through?
I felt very different as a child and teen too. I was very shy and introverted and I didn't like groups...and what is school and classrooms but a huge group? I remember that 8th grade was the worst for me...I went to a new school after having moved and...I didn't know anybody and nobody really wanted to know me. Childhood can be a very difficult time and especially if you are already different in some way.
Thank you as always for sharing with us. I am sure that a lot of our members can relate to what you are saying. You are definitely not alone in what you have experienced.