hey everybody
I like it that i's remembered.
I've been reading shareposts
I wanted to comment but find the words difficult sometimes
It was sunny and warm
I am grateful to have at least one nice day
I also have the problem of feeling guilty alot over things
Thanks for thinking of me
Jon
Thanks for letting us know you're all right, Jon. I think we try to take care of our own here. I can empathize with the guilty feelings -- sometimes over the smallest misstatement, I have guilt for days and often wait for the police to pick me up or for someone to throw me in the psych ward for what I have said. Like yesterday I confided to a friend that I had wanted to kill my abusive husband but decided on a divorce instead! I meant for it to be funny but she has a strange view of a lot of things and now I hate that I said it. I'm afraid for no good reason. Sometimes guilt is earned through real and intentional harm done to others, but sometimes it is just taking a ride on our shoulders when we let it.
Hey there Jon!
Yeah I hadn't seen you here for awhile so I got a little concerned. I am glad you popped on to say how you are doing. The weather is getting sunny again after so much rain. I am not happy about the heat and humidity though. Summer is here already? How did that happen?
It is great to see you. It makes my day to see a post or a comment from you. I always like to know how things are going for you.
Hi everyone
Well that didn't work particularly well! :)
Sorry all new laptop these days, still haven't worked out all of its fussy behaviours!
It's been ages since I've been here, but felt compelled to drop in, as it is only because of members here that I survived a lot of rough moments in life that few will ever learn of. These days depression and I seem to have square off on the field of emotion now and then, sometimes it overwhelms me and tries to beat me down, and other times I find myself standing up and recognizing that I have worth, and meaning in my life.
I'm currently pulling just below an A average in my 3rd year of University, though I have been granted early and advanced acceptance to another institution in the fall. This will mean for the first time in my life I'll be moving away entirely from my family, friends, the town I grew up in! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little aprehensive but there are so many positives to the move that the worry, fear, doubt and impending lonely moments I have faith will be worth it.
When I'm not working on studies or curled up after several days of extensive effort I've taken a keen interest in promoting wildlife programs and rescue shelters, feeling a strong connection to animals and pets, that at times I believe you can't generate between humans, whether they are family or stranger.
The only real source of upset for me these days lies with my health, I'm having seizures on a daily basis, sometimes several in a day, or even more than one or two an hour. My doctor's have been working to find the right medication since Sept, and testing, re-testing, poking and prodding in all ways possible but as of today there are no solid answers. Yet I remain optimistic that there will be an improvement and a light at the end of the tunnel.
To those of you who knew me when I first joined, you have not been far from my thoughts, it is my sincere hope that you are well and that you are continuing to strive towards your goals and dreams.
To those I have not met, but you find yourself reading this post know this: I have been where you are, I have lost everything, I have fallen into a pit of depression so deep I wanted to leave the world behind. I have felt the hand of grief, the gut wretching blow of loss, and the tramatic disolve of my mind, body and spirit. I am still fighting each day, the fight gets easier, you will get stronger, never give up, never surrender to the depression...you are beautiful, unique, and genuine....you are you...the one and only copy of an individual meant to make a mark upon the world.
Much love to all
Izzy
I'm amazed and gladdened by the transformation you present, Izzy. You write beautifully and I'm happy that you come back to check on everyone, and let us know how you're doing. I feel pride, without ever knowing you, in your accomplishments, because I remember when you first came here.
I hope the doctors can help you soon, and figure out what is causing the seizures. Please let us know what comes of it. It's good to see you! The best of luck with your studies.
Hey Miss Izzy!
wow...you sound absolutely wonderful. I am so happy that things are going so well for you. I know you have been through some very dark times but you kept on persevering. You truly are an inspiration to me and so many others who come to this site.
I am hopeful too that something can be found to control your seizures. Sometimes it takes the right combination of meds. One of my good friends has two children who have epilepsy and it took years and years to find the right meds for them both. Maybe I can ask her what has worked for her kids. As we all know, though, what works for one person may not work for another.
Please do continue to write here. We love to hear from you.
Hi, I was shaking just reading the comments. Wounded people hurt people I guess is true. Great show of empathy under very difficult situation to be empathic, MM.
Marishka
Wow...thanks Marishka for noticing that I was trying. It gets hard when someone is being...hurtful. I think there may be a misconception that writers don't bleed. We feel pain too if you poke at us and especially when we are just trying to help.
Thanks for being such a great member of this site...I love how you go out of your way to give a kind word to others. In this world it may be the only kind word the person has heard all day.
Thanks again for your comment.
Haven't been here in a while.
I guess I'm lost haha. What's this about hurtful comments?
Anyway, I try to keep what I do here private from my family. That way they don't get too involved. Don't know why I'm worried about it. They all know about my condition(s). I guess it's sort of like an escape for me.
Hi Kyle
I can understand that....I think may be true for many people here. This is a place to let it all out and that is easier to do if your whole personal realm of people are not reading it and possibly taking things out of context.
Thanks so much for stopping by to comment. Would love to hear more from you and how you are progressing.
Featuring Content From:
By using this service, you accept our Terms of Use. Please read them. The consumer health information on is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. You should promptly seek professional medical care if you have any concern about your health, and you should always consult your physician before starting a fitness regimen. Copyright © 2012 Remedy Health Media, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
I hate when a few people try to ruin something good for many. Every person is allowed to say how they feel, but if you don't like, don't ruin it for everyone else. I have never thought that anyone in this website felt that they where trying to take the roll or act as if they know more than a doctor.
So to the people that have complained, I really, really hope you read my post.
Many people that suffer from depression and other mental issues usually feel alone, different, embarrassed and many more emotions. It is hard to have a support system with people that do not understand even though they love you. I have a hard time understanding and this depression is a part of me. I found this place about 3 years ago and have had a place to go to “talk” with others that may understand just how I'm feeling. Most of us that have been under the care of a physician and in no way feel that this place can replace that. But to be honest many of the ways that I have found out about certain medications is by word of mouth (reviews). A doctor is scientific, so at times when you are trying to explain a side effect, you can feel like a idiot....they do not understand this. Some of us have had to get through side effects under our physicians advice and have, some didn't. My point is have input from the people that are out there actually going though it, taking the hundreds of medications and dealing with it, are the most important and should be listened to above all. Doctors also need to listen. I just had a withdrawal symptom that caused me to go to the doctor, and everyone gave me the wrong diagnosis. The only way I found this out was by going into a website and finding it own my own.
This website gave me a place that I could talk openly, where people with the same condition living completely different lives could bounce ideas and support off of each other, plain and simple, a support group. Now a lot of people only suffer from depression that comes and goes, and many have it on going. This is not something that anyone wants, but its a part of who we are whether we want or like it. I always make jokes about myself, and yes, I have call myself psycho and crazy. This is my way of lightening the mood. My depression is just that, mine and maybe it will leave one day but I've learned that you can't run from it cause chances are it will track you down and let you know how angry it was that you tried to NOT acknowledge it. This is just my way of getting through this.
So to any of you that have a negative opinion about this website, or any of the writers......how about you just don't visit, your not welcome anymore, don't let the door knob hit yah where the good Lord split yah....well I think you got the message.
But really, we suffer enough and many of us here are extremely sensitive, just leave everyone alone and let us continue with our little supportive community without you bringing a dark cloud over our already rainy world!!!
I agree with you -- an "expert" to me is someone who has "been there-done that." Especially anyone who has good insight to share on how to recover. Because that is what we all want, right? Like you, I had a medication side effect. I took Geodon and suddenly my thyroid function plummeted. My primary care doc couldn't figure out what was going on until I told her I had just started on Geodon. She told me to notify my psychiatrist at once that I had to switch to something else. But when I went to my pdoc, he said, "There is no way Geodon could affect your thyroid." So, naturally I went online to the mfg site and read all the info. One of the rarer side effects of Geodon is hypothyroidism. So you have to take the good with the bad sometimes and sort it out for yourself. This site helps me do that.
And I figure, why go to a site just to complain? They ought to start a "Complainers Anonymous" site for these people. A lot of good is being done here; no one has the right to spoil it for the rest of us.
Hey Moonflowers...
Thank you! It is so good to hear how this site has helped you. I too look at it as...we are all in this together. No one person has all the right answers but collectively we can offer support and real hands-on advice to one another. It is nice to have a place where you can just be yourself and feel accepted. You all make this site so easy to manage because you are kind, compassionate, and respectful of one another. The disrespectful comments did not happen on this site and I have an underlying feeling that it was a situation where perhaps the person was feeling misunderstood for some time and was quick to lash out at a perfect stranger.
You know how the singer Justin Timberlake is known for "bringing sexy back"? I want to be known for bringing civility back to web sites and forums...one site at a time.
It is like some people don't know anymore how to have a regular discussion without being rude.
Thanks so much for writing and sharing here. I always love to hear from you. Don't be a stranger okay?
Thanks Donna...I appreciate it.
Like I said...I get to see the best of the Internet right here on MyDepressionConnection. You all are great. We have debates and passionate discussion but it never dissolves into chaos or name calling. This isn't the Jerry Springer show...lol.
On another note...this is an interesting topic you are binging up about the medication side effects and the docs not always knowing about them. I may post about this topic...it seems that this has happened for a lot of us here.
Thanks again Donna for sharing your viewpoints and opinions here.