I have to admit that I have often called myself crazy. I use it to dismiss myself quite a bit - in fact I've caught myself saying it to my boyfriend a lot... almost as a way to try to get him to see I'm not like everyone else and to see if he will leave. Not good, I know, but he generally just laughs it off or ignores it and smiles at me/cuddles me/kisses me.
That said I've never been insulted by someone calling me crazy. Perhaps it is because I use the word myself so much? Destigmatising it by overuse? Turning it into a joke or capturing control of its meaning and use by the amount I bandy it around in regard to myself? Not sure, but it certainly doesn't hurt me. There are lots of words that cut to the bone - that isn't one of them. Not for me anyway.
Hello Miss Lyra
Hey...I just noticed something...you are saying "my boyfriend"! So this is the real deal? This is great news.
Yeah...the term is fairly innocuous in a lot of situations and contexts. Who hasn't said that they sometimes feel that they are going "crazy"? Yet in other situations where there is a difference in power...let's say it is your boss or a teacher using this label...then it isn't so kosher then is it?
I have a special aversion to the term because of my mother who is severely mentally ill and having people say this to her in a taunting way. It may be just like the word "retarded" for me because I have a son who is mentally retarded. For the person whose life is not personally affected by these conditions...there is no special meaning. But for me...yes there is some stigma and pain there.
Thanks for your comment and we hope to hear more about how you are doing. You sound really good.
I guess that because the word "crazy" is so much a part of our culture, it doesn't hold the same sting for me that "psycho" or "sicko" or "schizo" or a few other verbal sticks and stones have. People can call me crazy and I'm not offended because no one has ever called me that when referring to mental illness.
Now I HAVE had people say, "All through school I just assumed you were retarded," and I HAVE had people say, "Yeah, I knew something was wrong with you all along," and even, "I could tell you were 'different'". All of those hurt my feeling. A lot. Because I knew then that sometimes my inner void/turmoil were evident on the outside...when I had thought all along I was keeping it a secret.
But "crazy?" I guess I am guilty of using that word liberally myself, when I was referring to something as crazy-fun, crazy-making behavior, and crazy-in-love. And I'm also using it to refer to people who were mentally ill, mostly people in the news. And I do it when I'm talking to people who do not know that I have a mental illness. Maybe it seems like a way of "blending in" and being a part of the "normal" group. It sets "me" apart from "them" in an unhealthy way, because then am denying a fundamental part of my being.
This is a great comment Donna. You really hone in on which phrases and words do hurt. The "wrong with you" comment would really rattle me.
I have noticed that when you are open about any type of mental illness and including a mood disorder such as depression...which is a diagnosis shared by thousands of people...other people may treat you differently and not in a good way. To some...your reasoning, your logic, and your common sense are seen as less than because you suffer from depression. If you say something that someone else doesn't agree with they have the "crazy" come back that you don't know what in the heck you are talking about because...well...you are a little off...too emotional....unable to reason...because you are depressed. I say...in some ways my mood disorder makes me more able to cut through someone's BS and get to the important stuff.
I guess maybe the question I should have asked was: Do people treat you differently due to your mental illness or mood disorder?
Thank you Donna...as always for your insightful comments.
Well, I'm back to the site, at least for now! Lots of chronic health and life traumas going on. I tend to go inward after the stress and pain gets past my tolerance to cope. I know, opposite than what I need to do. This is a great place to share. I'm going to try not to hide!
About "crazy"...when I read MM's very first use of the word, I felt my chest tighten some...it brought back terribly bad memories from childhood and I abhor the word. It was part of verbal abuse as a child. We used to go to the major city nearby sometimes on Sundays to visit my grandmother. On the way we passed a large state hospital/asylum. My older brother would start ahead of passing, and tease my sister cruelly, saying "we're almost there (the hospital), Susan to drop you off. Are you ready to go?...and the horrible relentless teasing would just continue until Susan was screaming 'stop it, no, no'. My brother was 12, Susan was 8 and I was 5. I thought I was next and the inner fear and sense of possible abandonment, the horrid fear of 'crazy' loomed in me. Imagine my sister. Where were my parents? Smoking cigarettes in the front seat, completely tuning us out.
Well, there's the story and here's the outcome. At sixteen, not long after the continuous threats stopped, Susan emotionally broke down, and never came back around. She has multiple diagnoses, including severe paranoid schizophrenia. She lives in a continuous psychotic state now, and has recently been admitted to a long-term facility for multiple health problems. Ironically, she spent many years in and out of state hospitals. It's tough to even write this today.
My brother is not the complete source of her mental health issues, but he damned well played a significant role. My therapist has said he is a severely disturbed person. From here I could only rant and ramble about my painful feelings for her and myself. But I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow, and will make this a major topic...need some healing help even now.
Crazy is like our comfortable use of the word "fit" -- someone's anger or outrageous behavior - he/she had a FIT over (this or that). But it is a terrible analogy to an epileptic seizure -- so badly and commonly used. Watch the non-verbal response of my husband, who has epilepsy, when someone is talking and uses the word fit - probably having no idea of the reference. This is a hot, hot topic of mine. Epilepsy itself has suffered cruel stigmas. That's improved some, but like crazy, let's get 'fit' out of our world!
Well it's time to officially start my day. My cup of coffee is finished, internet time is done, and I've got a BUSY schedule. Best to you all! Gina
Hi Gina
Oh it is so good to see you. I have missed you a ton!
Your story brings tears to my eyes. I am so sorry. This is how I feel too...when you see someone you love be taken away and locked up...it is no cliche...it is frightening and real and it stays with you for many years. I hope you do talk about this in therapy. I hope you can heal from it.
May I ask...was your brother ever repentant about this?
I think that it is difficult for anyone to understand who has not gone through this. Lately I have been so struck by the dichotomy of all that is superficial in our society...so much focus on gadgets and gizmos and tricks...and in the meantime there are real people enduring real pain. But hey...Ashton Kutcher's twitter feed and how we can learn to emulate that sort of popularity...now there is something of relevance right?
I hope you know...I am here blogging and writing because of people like you. Some people look at this as just another way to make money...feed the greedy machine with more how-to articles, ten easy ways to be less depressed or less sick, collect hearts, become a patient celebrity wooed by pharma, pride themselves on having the right key words in their titles, and make a name for themselves. I am becoming so jaded by the circus going on all around me that I am forgetting what it means to be human and truly connect with others.
You have reminded me today of why I am here doing this.
You are a real person out there. I don't want to talk to search engines. I want real. Thank you for helping me today.
I call myself crazy all the time, usually as a way to deflect from my real feeling cause I usually use the term in a sarcastic manner (like "don't listen to me, I'm just crazy, haha"
I have never actually been called crazy by anyone else but that is probably cause I am so good at putting on a facade and hiding my feelings from the world.
I do think the biggest problem with using blanket terms like this is it is so dismissive. It is easier to group anyone with mental illness into the "crazy" category than to acknowledge they are unique people with unique problems that matter to them. It is easier to call someone crazy than try to understand what they are going through.
Hi there
You make some really good points. I think sometimes the person who most uses the "crazy" term is us to define ourselves or to make ourselves smaller and perhaps less noticed.
The last time I felt like I was "going crazy" was before my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. The symptoms can be so bizarre and I really wondered if I was losing touch with reality. Illness can make you feel that way. I was heartbroken to ge the diagnosis but at the same time I was relieved to know that what was happening was not just my imagination.
I guess my point is that there are some things in life which can make you feel "crazy" like chronic illness...physical and emotional pain...and depression. It always helps to know that there are others who are feeling similar things and that we are not crazy but just human.
Thanks so much for sharing. I hope you write more about your feelings on this.
I cring at the word "crazy". It is hurtful and derogatory. When someone says "crazy" I lose interest in them. TV commentary people use it alot. I hate that.
Remember the old saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me? Poppycock! I'd rather take a punch than to be called "crazy psycho,or lunatic."
Words hurt to the core. There was a guy I went to school with (I say guy I meant bully) that called me names, eventually all the kids called it. I saw him at store one time, I wanted so badly to go and punch him. I didn't because that would've brought me to his level.
I am all in favor of trying to stop the names. I know it is a long quest and probably will never stop..but I still try.
No name calling please. We are all in this world together.
David
Hi there
I am so sorry you went through this David. You are so right...the names do hurt and sometimes leave more permanent scars than physical abuse. I am glad you are speaking openly about this. There is a real hurt and pain to this sort of name calling. I know that today some people think we are too politically correct. But I think if you took some of these same people...and you exposed them to these situations where they had to walk a mile in someone else's shoes...they might begin to understand some of the sensitivities out there.
I thank you for sharing your experience here. It means a lot.
There's a great PSA about the R-word out there...
People arer becoming increasingly aware that it's not OK to use derogatory terms for various minority groups. Except 'crazy' and 'retarded' are considered just part of the language, used even by people in their 40s. I once wrote a post for my personal blog protesting the use of 'spaz' and eveyone thought I was "too sensitive". Of course, everyone who commented were able-bodied - I suspect someone living with cerebral palsy might have another opinion. Language matters. But the healthy/able-bodied majority don't get it - until they become crazy or disabled themselves. Or until we manage to persuade them differently. Keep working on it.
Thanks Lene...so true.
Speaking of the word "spaz" I was called that. By someone you know. 
I had been having seizure like symptoms due to my MS. Someone who I thought was my friend actually used the word "spaz" to describe me and what I was going through and this was from someone who had MS. Unbelievable huh?
The norm nowadays is to be uncivil. We don't bat an eyelash about calling people names and it is a form of entertainment. Public humiliation is the core of most reality shows. Our society takes great delight in the many creative ways to demean another. We have not evolved much from the Roman days where it was perceived as entertainment to watch people battle to the death in an arena. Now we just do it on-line. There are now cases of cyber bullying taken to the extreme. This was the case for Meagan Meier who commited suicide due to this type of bullying. The person behind it was a mother! It seems unfathomable doesn't it?
I feel we have strayed too far from respect and civility with one another. Simple things like empathy...we are moving so far from that because we are not taught to connect to one another as human beings. We are numbers, stats, hearts, facebook friends, profiles, and other meaningless entities. Who are we?
Sorry for the novel friend! It helps to get it out.
I guess I've never thought of the word "crazy" as something that meant much. It's used so much to describe so many things, unlike some of the other words people use, like "retard" which I abhor. If I say something is crazy, I mean I can't make sense out of it; in another context, to me it means a person is acting in a way that's the opposite of what they usually do. I've never really thought of it in terms of mental illness. If I'm speaking in that vein, I usually use the words "ill" or "sick."
And I really meant it when I said I think this heart thing is crazy.
Thanks Judy
So in other words...you do not "heart" the hearts? You know I am going to have to heart you now. Get ready for a love bomb. LOL
I need to get out today. My jadedness has reached astronomical proportions.
I still have my luna moth. I hope he isn't dead.
Have a great sunday...doing anything special today?
I grew up in a small, weathly community. My mother was terribly ill w/schizo affective disorder & my father was a "functioning" alcoholic. These situations were not explained to me, but I knew my school-mates did not have mothers who went in & out of mental institutions or ran in front of cars trying to kill themselves or called their daughters "whores" when I was so young I didn't even know what the word meant...
But she was in & out of mental institutions & finally was succesful at killing herself when I was 15 after many attempts. This was in the 1960's & 1970's when mental illness was not recognized or talked about other than someone being "crazy."
She threatened to kill us children & then herself & called my father at work w/this info. He called the police & this kind of thing happened often--yet we (the children) weren't protected from her or told what was going on. I kept wondering why the docs released her out of the mental institution when even as a 9-year-old kid I knew she was "crazy." My therapist finally explained to me when I was about 52-years-old that she was probably on meds when she was in the hospital & "got stabilized" & maybe quit them when she got home so that is why I only saw her as "crazy."
I remember going to get my hair cut at the little local salon (I had to make all the appts. myself & that was hard as I felt very inferior & walk the 3 miles or so to the "village" as it was called as my mother didn't drive), but as I was getting my hair cut I could hear a buzz of whispering that I was the daughter of the "crazy" woman--she had just been carted off to the mental institution after "crazy" stuff that included physical abuse, police calls, just "crazy" stuff! She had also been to this salon to get her hair cut & acted very "crazy" so it was humilitating to hear everyone whispering about me being the daughter of the "crazy' woman...
And then I ended up "crazy" myself w/bipolar 1 disorder...
I am so sorry...
This must have been such a traumatic, frightening, and dark part of your life. How do you feel about your mother today? My mother is still alive...she is in a home and I see her about once a year. It is very hard for me. I had always feared that I would become her. Did you ever have those fears?
Please know that you are not alone in this. As you can tell by the comments and my own personal story...there are many of us who have had these early experiences in having a parent or relative with a severe mental illness.
I hope that you will talk about this more here. There are so many people who do feel alone and...I think sharing your story will help.
Thank you so much for sharing so openly and honestly here.
Since I never knew my mother well; she made the phone call about killing us children & then herself when I was 3 so that started the whole train ride of mental institutions, etc. I always felt compassion for my mother & actually was relieved (though that sounds terrible) when she did finally succeed at killing herself. She was such a tortured soul.
My daughter (34-year-old law prof) doesn't feel the same way I do about my mother. She does feel anger at the abuse my mother gave out to us kids. But I realize my mother just wasn't thinking rationally & was consumed by her delusions. My daughter has decided not to have children due to the genetics of this mental illness. She had a horrible bout of depression in college & I feel guilt at passing these "bad" genes on to her.
I was really angry at my father for not protecting us from her. But finally at age 54 or so my therapist told me my father was a narcissist & his alcohol problem made him incapable of loving me & being a "father" & protecting us. That finally freed me from trying to get him to love me. My husband said even when I was in my 40's talking to my father on the phone (I lived out of state & did "duty" calls that I felt like I should as a daughter)--my husband said he couldn't stand to listen to me "groveling"--trying to get my father to love me.
My husband said my father was never going to love me & I should quit trying & concentrate on my husband & children & happy family I have now (which was true).
It was very bizarre in that when I moved out of state, he "forgot" that he had me as a daughter as I wasn't what he wanted in a daughter. I wasn't a gorgeous, yacht-club type (he lived on his yacht after dumping us kids in a boarding school when I was a teen) but (horrors) I had inherited my mother's mental illness (though my dx was bipolar 1). He got so ANGRY when I had my 1st suicide attempt at 15 & the boarding school made me go w/him for 2 weeks. I'm assuming they told him to get me "help", but that didn't happen--just a lot of anger...
I made him miss a cruise that was planned.
I can understand he'd had enough of this crap w/my mother.
But, anyway, when I returned to the state where he lived to attend the engagement party for my younger sister (who IS gorgeous {was a successful model} & a wonderful yacht club type of person) I sat next to some strangers (well, they were all strangers) on his yacht. They asked me how I knew my sister & I told them I was her sister (bride-to-be). They said, "We thought she had only one sister!!" I told them yes she does & I'm it!! But I found out that some other young lady was being introduced as my father's daughter (& he never mentioned me--plus my sister went along w/this farce).
It was painful & bizarre. Came to find out this young woman was introducing my father as her "dad."
But the worst for me was that my younger sister went along w/it & didn't tell me. I had practically raised her & she lived w/my husband & me when one of my father's lady friends was mean to her & didn't want my sister living on the yacht. Jealous of her, I guess...
But now my "sister" (the real one) & I are estranged as her husband found out I was dexed w/bipolar & he thought I was "crazy" & he didn't want my sister around a "crazy" sister. Plus, for me it was very hurtful that she continued the relationship w/the "fake" sister & now is very close to her & doesn't have any contact w/me.
Mostly when someone tells me I'm crazy it's a sort a compliment. We have a sense of humor around here like no other so when we come up with some of the weirdest things to make people laugh it's always "crazy"
But I like the word crazy. Don't know why. It sounds sort of like a real deep determination. One that some would call foolish. "oh you're crazy that's never gonna work"
And I like this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bd2B6SjMh_w
Crazy by Gnarles Barkley.
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Do you mean in one day? :)
Crazy is a word you can always back away from if you use it derogatorily and someone calls you on it. You can always say, you didn't mean it that way, even though you obviously did.
Not like calling someone stupid, or retarded. You can't appeal the meaning of those, or hide from them. Crazy though, in a derogatory sense, is meant to deflect one's own feeling of inadequacy and turn aside a discussion which you are losing.
I have brilliant nephews, and have had long conversations with them, and though clearly not on their level, far from it, they have never once made me feel out of place, never dismissed anything I've said with labels. They never needed to, they dealt with facts and patience.
Crazy can be good as used in our history, the beginning of rock and roll was replete with the term, in a good way. It's not something to use in any other way.
Oh, and I think this new heart thing is not a good way to encourage people.
It will be a popularity contest, and it will increase the sense of worthlessness some people have of themselves, if they write shareposts or answer questions and do not accumulate many of these status symbols.
Some will be rock stars, others will leave. Why rate people like this?
Agree--this heart thing is ridiculous. If you want to be a facebook wannabe this is not the correct venue.
Please get rid of that new addition!
I don't like the "heart thing" either. It is just meaningless and useless as far as I am concerned.
I hate the heart thing, too! Now, that's what I call crazy!
This is a good question Paul. I will definitely be giving this feedback to the powers that be.
Not too many fans of the hearts so far it seems.
Thanks so much for your comment.
Hate the heart thing, Judy, Donna, Paul....
I will definitely be passing along your thoughts on this. If anyone does like the hearts...don't be shy...we want to hear from you too.
Every day is Valentine's Day I suppose.
Thank you all for your feeback.