October has been designated as Domestic Violence Awareness month by the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence (NRCDV). This collaborative project defines its mission in this way: The Domestic Violence Awareness Project (DVAP) supports the rights of all individuals, especially women and girls, to live in peace and dignity. Here’s the thing. What about men who are victims of domestic abuse? When most people think about domestic abuse they are visualizing a man as the perpetrator and a woman as the individual who is being battered. It is true that in many cases women are the victims of domestic abuse. The National Institutes of Health, for example, report that the most common cause of injury to women ages 15 to 44 is domestic violence. And according to the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, women experience approximately 4.8 million intimate partner-related physical assaults and rapes every year. Yet male victims of spousal violence are seldom included in domestic abuse statistics. Do these men exist? They sure do and we are going to hear from some of them. In this post we are going to explore the hidden realm of men who suffer from domestic abuse and what we can do about it to help.
When Lene Andersen, the community leader for our Rheumatoid Arthritis site, asked me to contribute some articles for Domestic Violence Awareness I quickly found a post that I had already written on this topic. A couple of years ago I had written Ten Signs That You May be Involved in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship. I wrote much of it from my first-hand perspective of being a woman who had been abused. The post garnished a ton of comments, mostly from other female victims. But over time an intriguing trend began to develop where our male members began to speak out.
Here are some of those comments from our male members who have been subjected to domestic abuse:
Idon’tknow writes: I don't like how the article focuses on men being the abuser. I'm depressed, often think of suicide (but would never do it - couldn't put my kids through that), am completely isolated (0 friends and I'm not kidding) and feel even worse because regardless of what anyone says, I feel seeking help with these things is a sign of weakness and that I should just be a man and get over it.
Jim says: Women can do this too!
Mike writes: Guys out there reading this... I know you are probably more afraid than women to get help but I know you can do it. I am and did, but I still have a long road ahead of me.
And most recently MK shares: I'm a male in an emotionally abusive relationship. I came to your site to look for some help, but realized you made it all about men as the abusers. Disappointed.
To these members and others I wish to say I am sorry. And more so, you are right. Men also get abused by their partners and it is largely overlooked by our society for various reasons. I am hopeful that this post will increase awareness that domestic violence can happen to both genders.
