You go, girl! Aretha - I am so jealous. I know, sometimes it seems like it's so much effort to get out of the house and do something, but maybe it was good that there were other people involved - if it had just been you and your friend, you probably wouldn't have gone, right?
Getting out when I feel low is easier these days than it used to be because I know that I almost always feel better for it, unless it happens to be an occasion with certain family members that push all my buttons. Sometimes just a change of scenery helps and sometimes it's a matter of paying attention to someone else's story that gets me out of myself. I can still fall back into "disappearing" in a group, especially if I feel like I don't quite fit and I have declined outings after choir practice, for example. But the times that I have gone, people have been friendly to me and I've ended up talking to a few of them, which is really better for me vs. trying to say something in a big group.
I'm glad you got to go - I think music almost always helps, anyway, and hearing it live is even better!
Hi M/M
I have almost no motivation to get out. I haven't had any serious depressive episodes for about a year now but it seems like there's always this low-level funk that makes me just want to come home from work and lay on the couch. This is having an impact on my marriage as my wife likes to go out - restaurants, movies, comedy clubs, etc. She can sometimes talk me into going to a movie or out to eat but I could take it or leave it. I don't suffer from social anxiety (although I'm not much of a chit-chatter myself), just feel blah. When I do get out I usually enjoy it.
Hi M/M
I have almost no motivation to get out. I haven't had any serious depressive episodes for about a year now but it seems like there's always this low-level funk that makes me just want to come home from work and lay on the couch. This is having an impact on my marriage as my wife likes to go out - restaurants, movies, comedy clubs, etc. She can sometimes talk me into going to a movie or out to eat but I could take it or leave it. I don't suffer from social anxiety (although I'm not much of a chit-chatter myself), just feel blah. When I do get out I usually enjoy it.
Hi M/M
I have almost no motivation to get out. I haven't had any serious depressive episodes for about a year now but it seems like there's always this low-level funk that makes me just want to come home from work and lay on the couch. This is having an impact on my marriage as my wife likes to go out - restaurants, movies, comedy clubs, etc. She can sometimes talk me into going to a movie or out to eat but I could take it or leave it. I don't suffer from social anxiety (although I'm not much of a chit-chatter myself), just feel blah. When I do get out I usually enjoy it.
Hi - I can relate to every word of your post and it came at the right time for me. This week brought an unwelcome shift in work duties. I too have social anxiety and depression and I had to interact with different people than I'm used to. Every single day I was *so* tempted to stay home (avoidance is my most-used strategy for difficult situations), but I managed to get myself in there. I hope to do as well next week.
Hi Merely Me,
I'm sorry you've had such a rotten few weeks. I know what you mean about time to yourself helps to heal you... but somehow it can hurt you a bit too. It's weird how that works. I'm glad you decided to go to the concert and it was good that your husband was able to go with you (it helps a lot when my boyfriend can come to social events with me) - has it helped you in the long term? How is your depression now?
Now I want to hear from you! What have you done this week that you are proud of? How hard is it for you to stray from your comfort zone when you are feeling depressed?
I started the process of getting a job by going to centrelink which is really hard. You asked in response to my post what centrelink is -basically it is the Australian government department that is responsible for all payments to those who don't work or need assistance (whether for disability, retirement, student, carer, etc). It was a really hard thing for me to do, but I feel it is the best thing long-term (even though I know I've got a long time of lots of hard steps to take to get there).
The more depressed I am the harder it is for me to do something new or that I don't like. My improvement in my mental health is what helped me take the steps I have this week, and my greatest fear is a dip which will make it all feel impossible and I'll wonder why I'm doing it to myself. However, having said that, on occasion when I have forced myself to go out and be social, for example, when I have been feeling down it can help. Not always - it depends on how stressful or positive the experience was - but quite often. Funnily enough it doesn't seem to matter how many times it has helped me though, each time I have to smash through a giant roadblock - that part of me that screams out I'm just going to get more hurt. I don't know how to change it, but I try to force myself to do the opposite of what I feel like doing when depressed as a way to counter the hiding impulse.
Hi Lyra,
I read your comment...I am wondering, what are you applying for? Is it disability for depression? I am thinking of doing that here....but I am not yet...
It takes forever and includes a ton of paperwork and other energy requiring things...
I know it would take a lot of pressure off just having some partial income....but I don't know what to do about it...I would like to talk to more people about it..
Hi Lyra,
I read your comment...I am wondering, what are you applying for? Is it disability for depression? I am thinking of doing that here....but I am not yet...
It takes forever and includes a ton of paperwork and other energy requiring things...
I know it would take a lot of pressure off just having some partial income....but I don't know what to do about it...I would like to talk to more people about it..
Hi Marishka,
I only just got notified of your reply (just got an onslaught of notifications actually). I am applying to be able to get assistance finding work - I'm already on a disability pension. I haven't worked in over 5yrs, getting my payments through the pension, but now feel I'm ready to get back out there - unfortunately I have no references anymore and I don't want to return to the type of work I was doing before anyway so need help in finding work that I can handle. I'm not sure how the disability pension works where you are, but it was a headache for me to do too - however long term it helped me have time to pull myself back together.
Hi MM,
Well thanks for the post. My friend invited me today to go listen to his small band in a restaurant. I really want to go and luckily he plays every Friday.
He lives in a small town South of here. I will try to go...and you inspired me...I just want to be able to sleep somewhere if I go...on his couch in his roommates home (female by the way and he is male) :)
I think it would help me a lot and I love the kind of music he plays..guitar and country type...
I will definately try to go one Friday...just don't want to drive back at 11pm on the highway! I will try to work it out.
I drove to the Mc Donalds drive through last night to get fries, does that count? :)
I am going to recommit to running 3 or 4 days a week and getting on my bike, probably with a group.
I got pretty dissapointed with this Dr. who told me he didn't believe in Fibromyalgia, but I don't care what you call it Doc, please help me treat it...
oops, that slipped in here..I just want to feel better physically so I can go do things, but again...your point is do them anyway...
how wonderful to have a husband who helps you feel so comforted...where did you find him? I am going to stop writing, and try to reign in my brain a bit...lately it has been everywhere...thanks for the post
Merely Me,
How cool that you saw Aretha, I bet it was a good show. Fortunately I have never gotten to the point where I want to totally isolate. I often go out of my comfort zone. This past week I went to a woman's house with church members to teach. I do this quite often and it gets easier each time. One thing I am proud of, I worked on my cookbook that I am writing. I had been thinking of working on it for awhile and finally just did it. When I returned to church three years ago I was a wallflower. I stood by the wall and never approached anyone. If they came up to me and talked then that was a bonus, but often the chit-chat was just that. One day as I was holding up the wall I decided that since people weren't coming to me I would go to them. I made a goal to introduce myself to at least one person I didn't know every week. At first it was ackward walking up to strangers, the conversations were brief and to the point. Soon however I began to get to know people more and more. Now I have huge convesations and I always greet people I never met.
Take care,
David
This is one of those subjects that I want to answer before reading other comments.
I also have a strong resistance to going out or staying out, but as part of my daily mantra
I make being social a part of my moral make-up. Everything I do with others is an extension of
my responsibility to myself- (do unto others ..as you would have them do to you). [What if
everyone became a hermit?] That puts everyone on the same par as me, and defuses most
resistance. Then I drag myself out the door to do my daily exercise for ½ hr. That puts me in
contact with p p p..people. By then I'm mostly ready to interact positively. I also structure time
to volunteer serving others directly by: mentoring a young man with cognitive impairments
once a week; and serving at the information desk of a local hospital 3 hrs twice a month. I
consider grocery shopping, going to adult Sunday School and church, going to my counselor,
going to my Chiropractor, going to my doctor, going to my psychiatrist each a part of "getting
out" as well. Any interruption from solitude at home, I consider getting out. Especially difficult
is volunteering at the information desk, because I'm expected to be cheerful, friendly and
"normal" right in front of others for 3 whole hours. This may sound silly to those of you who
work at a job 8 hours a day, but being retired and having chronic depression can make "getting
out" a big deal every day. Usually interacting with others, to be fair, is a positive experience;
but as you mentioned, MM, pampering solitude increases resistance to being "out there."
I'm so glad that you pushed through and went to see Aretha. I would love to have been there with you. I love Aretha Franklin. I find that music helps me A LOT, when it comes to pulling me out of my depressive funk. I can usually get going by listening to some zippy, jamming tunes. I can only imagine seeing/experiencing them live.
To go with people you don't know, would have been extremely difficult. I'm not sure I could have pushed thru that. Excellent Job!
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hi mm
Im still alive
I didnt spend all my money
I did spend over 1,000
Im happy you went to aretha's concert
Ive been wanting to go to a concert for years
Jon