In the true spirit of Valentine's Day, I told the guy who lives upstairs from me that I would like to go to breakfast with him. (He keeps asking me out.) He tends to be a depressed soul, so in the interest of not rekindling my own depression, I have not gone out with him yet. But it will be nice to talk to a man again. I haven't been out with anyone in years. He is the same age as I am and a member of the same church and has elderly parents who need attention, so we will have at least one thing to talk about!
And what is love? I used to have an idealized view of love -- that it was not a 50/50 proposition, but a 100/100 proposition. Where each partner was willing to give 100% of him or herself to the other. I've never actually seen that happen, though. Especially not in my own failed marriage. I do think that love is an action, not just a feeling. If you love, then you should be willing to show it in practical ways.
Hey Donna
That is great...I hope you have a good time. Let us know how your breakfast date goes.
I agree about love being a verb. I think love is being willing to clean up dog poop, take out the trash, pay the mortgage and all the other things we don't really want to do...but we do it out of love for our partner. I would love to have an alternate dating reality show where...instead of going to some beautiful island or skydiving for a date...they put the two people in charge of taking care of a colicky baby...or put them in a house where the plumbing is broken...or make them host a Thanksgiving dinner for each other's parents. Love is a whole lot more than poetry and roses. It is about real life challenges and facing them together. And like you say...maybe you give 100% but you have a partner who gives 20%...then what?
Love is...hard.
Thanks so much for sharing. You make very insightful comments.
Some things that come to mind:
Listening, validating, trusting, sharing thoughts, ideas, dreams, feelings, opening, understanding, communicating, connecting through interests, spirit, emotions,
being there through everything, good or hard, commitment, sharing life experiences, laughter, tears, being able to be yourself together without pretending, supporting, encouraging, caring, wanting the best for the well being of the other, negotiating so both people are happy with decisions, giving and receiving, caring about yourself ,the other and the relationship
The church I attend is huge on love. We love all. After the flood last year I was able to show how much I loved and cared for my community by going out and mucking stalls in a barn, tearing out sheetrock walls and clearing debris in mud soaked basement.....all in the name of love. One man was so grateful that he asked where to make a donation to the church....when I told him that it wasn't necessary, he cried! The presidents of the church teach alot about love. Here is what one said..."
Great quote!
And so true that acts of volunteerism are ways to show love to your fellow man. Imagine if all people would join in. I think kindness can make people cry because maybe they aren't expecting it. When people are kind to me and my son who has autism out in the community...I feel so grateful because it isn't always that way.
Thanks so much for sharing...you help a ton by telling your story.
Uncompromising love in it's purest form for me is for my granddaughter who is still too young to do any wrong, my dogs who give love freely and expect very little in return, and my saint of a mother who suffers with a terminal illness and deserves nothing less than my utmost love and compassion.
I have other loves, of course. But they are compromised by greed and other sins. Such is life. None of us leaves this Earth without sin or imperfection.
Hey there
Yes...I feel this type of love for my kids and my pets as well. It is one of the most wonderful parts of being human...giving and receiving unconditional love.
And yes it is true that we are all fallible and imperfect. Even saints had their issues. This too is part of being human.
Thanks so much for stopping by. Will have to check out what you have been writing about lately.
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Love for me is about being there, connecting, trusting, listening, standing by someone come what may, reaching out when no one else does, patience, loyalty, simple gestures, and time - to be given time from someone's life is everything.
And communication is what keeps the love alive.
Simply beautiful Lyra!
And spoken from experience. I remember a time when you doubted that you would find love and now here you are in a relationship.
Hope everything is going well for you. When you have time update us.
MM