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You can find more of Merely Me on her blog: I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends
In essence I can agree with what you're saying, Merely Me. Less is far less stressful, for one thing. With all that goes on around us it is easy to become overwhelmed and feel like we are drowning. Simplifying things helps me calm my mind and taking a deep breath can 'save' me from myself in a manner of speaking.
However... I am now in a position where I have to take on more because the simple life is not sustainable. I am not independent because I do not have enough money to be. I have to work, even though it stresses me - I am trying to find work that is easier for me to handle, but quite frankly the life that I have been leading was just stress-free enough for me to cope and that is quite clearly sans work. Reality won't allow that. And to be really honest I do like certain luxuries like travelling or even the simple things of eating chocolate and watching movies - I need money for these things, and to hopefully support myself and live alone (or with my boyfriend).
Less makes things easier for me, so yes it is more... and yet more is what I need to survive, unfortunately. As in all things there is a balance, I guess is what I am saying. Then again I guess you made that point yourself when you pointed out that it is not necessary to live in poverty - just assess your life and maybe make sure you have room to breathe and just be yourself?
Thanks, as always, for the insightful post.
Hey Lyra
Oh absolutely I agree with you. It is essential to take on risks and responsibilities in order to grow and also to be independent.
What I am talking about is...the psychological need for "more" as in more stuff, more prestige, losing more weight...whatever it is that becomes almost an addiction which hinders enjoying one's life. That need for perfection can be a bottomless pit for some. And the "more" doesn't fill it.
Anyways...can't wait to hear about how things go for you on the job front. This is very exciting.
Thank you as always for your thoughts.
MM
Hi MM,
well, you might have guessed, I would agree with this! I have it posted on my mirror....less is more!
Along with a few others and one quote- from Mother Teresa- supposedly or at least one she is said to have had posted in her room I think-hard to know with these long passed quotes, but it said it was written by her!
Anyway! It talks about silence, God and Earth. And love. Too tired to get it now!
Back to the post! I agree with it! Whether it is a monk, a saint or simply a person who chooses to have a simple, modest lifestyle for the purpose of happiness and giving to others, I agree with it!
I totally agree with you, MM, that depression can be a wake-up call. It took me a while, but I started realizing more and more that the company I worked for no longer valued the same things that I did, whereas they once had. Employees used to be the #1 priority and by the time I retired, they no longer even made the list. Everything started to feel like it was all done for show, for impressing people, for making the most money possible, even if employees lost their jobs in the process. That wasn't the total cause of my depression, of course, but it really made things worse.
One big wake-up call I got years ago was due to never paying attention to what mattered to me, everyone else's needs and wants dictated my life and I shut off all my feelings. This was something I grew up with and then, right around the time I turned 30, the dogs in the basement started barking loud enough that I couldn't ignore them. I had to learn to recognize what I needed, which meant dealing with conflict, something I abhor to this day. It's hard for me to not feel guilty when I "get my way" even though others may get theirs even more. It also meant learning to set boundaries which, again, is still something I have trouble with.
Oh, well, guess I'll always be a work in progress!
What you said about your employer brought back old memories. The company I worked for (a nationwide grocery chain) seemed to value the contribution of the individual...at least from what we were told. But the Secret Shopper results were really a contest between store managers to see who could get the best stores. I won the contest for my store and region because I had 9 out of 10 perfect shops. Not even the manager scored that high. So I was invited to a big company dinner to be paraded about and given a plaque. I refused to go because it was NOT an honor. It was going to be an honor for the store manger. What I got out of being an excellent Customer Service Rep was simply knowing I was helping people.
So, I was not given the plaque even though I earned it. I was not given the silver lapel pin. I was given no recognition by the manager because I didn't get him the attention he wanted. In fact, I was encouraged to quit (or be fired) just a short time later because my immediate supervisor said everyone else was having to cover for me, that I wasn't doing my work. How did I make all those 100%'s on Secret Shopper reports if I wasn't doing an excellent job? It was just all politics.
Hey Judy
You have said so much here...we could write volumes on these topics alone. Yes...some jobs...I believe....can kill you. It can kill your spirit, your mental health, and finally your physical health. In today's world there seems to be no reason for loyalty. Everyone has one foot in and one foot out...ready to bolt. We live in a culture where you could put in ten or more years at a job and the next day be escorted out the door like a criminal. We have lost our way and our values. Money drives us and dictates how we live and act towards others. Quality is inferior to quantity. Customer service has been replaced by automated answering machines...press one for insanity...two for "we don't care" and three for "no human will be talking to you." We are no longer talking to one another but at each other. People are walking billboards...look at me! The ones with the loudest voices and the biggest billboards make the most money.
Ethics, morals, values, a sense of pride about one's work....out the window. Selfishness has replaced these elements in our society. As a matter of fact we reward selfish behavior most of all. It is...the most profitable.
I have, unfortunately, become very cynical about our corporate culture of greed and get rich schemes. I can only hope that at some point, people will tire of this. I believe that one can have a profitable company but also be ethical and treat people with dignity, respect, and fairness. I am a hopeless romantic so I am doomed. :>)
I am so glad you got out of your bad job Judy. I bet you feel such relief when you think about it.
Setting boundaries and doing things for you...these are necessary to remain sane and happy.
You are very wise Judy.
Thanks for sharing...
MM
By my own definition depression is synonymous with being overwhelmed, and feeling so hopeless, and seeing no way out. I've been there. Here is why I need to disagree with you. At that point in my life I wouldn't have had the ability to consider giving everything up. Because I think I already had. I had already gone to my own private woods to live as Thoreau wrote to "live deliberately." What I found is that volunteering to give up all human need is a philiosphy which edges on insanity. I believe diogenes was mentally ill. Rather than denouncing society, living simply could mean trying to make your society a better place to live, without expecting a reward. It might mean pulling a few weeds. This may mean eliminating rude, degrading, and abusive people from your life. It also may mean leaving a lousy job. But that doesn't mean you need to live alone or be unemployed for the rest of your life. It also doesn't mean you need to take vows of poverty or chastity. A simple life can mean stepping outside and planting a few flowers ever day. And I've come to believe this doesn't cost a whole lot of money.
Hello and welcome!
I happen to totally agree with you. As I mention in my post...no...you don't need to go to extremes and join the clergy or give away all your material goods. These are extreme examples. But the main thing I wanted people to think about is...that change is possible. More of everything is not always the answer. Yet our society condones this type of behavior where excess in everything is condoned whether it is rising in the ranks of corporate culture, having the biggest house, having the most "friends" on facebook, setting up back-to-back activities for your kids, being the thinnest, having the best car....you get the picture. The measure of our success seems to always be more...according to societal values.
But in my opinion, sometimes less is more.
Thank you so much for joining our discussion. Hope to hear from you more here.
MM
MM,
I know there are changes I need to make in my life, but right now my depression has worsened to the point that I don't have the energy or motivation to make changes.
patsy
Patsy:
I have found that depresssion only gets worse the less that you do. It steals your ability to find the motivation to make things better for yourself. As someone who has suffered with depression since the age of eleven and recently found myself in the throughs of the worse depression episode of my life. I wake up everyday with the goal to get out of bed and do one thing on my to do list that will make me feel good. It could be as simple as taking a long hot bath with candles. It could be taking my three kids to the park to watch them play. Depression has stolen so many good times from me.........I am really "trying" to remember its the very little things in life that make me feel happy inside. Do more of what you love.....or what you remember you used to love, before the strong grip of depression stole your joy. I know that there are life changes that I am struggling with. I have found myself thirty.....and unhappy with my life. Where does that take me? What can I do to make things better? How do I know that the path that I choose doesnt lead to more feelings of hopelessness? The truth: I don't. But I have to "try" for myself and for my family. More truth: Depression affects everyone around you...........I have to try for my kids....if for no one at all.
~Stacie
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Hi MM and all,
I enjoyed reading your post on this topic. I especially noted the phrase, "sit around hoping for a change to occur from some external source." One thing I have learned from dealing with depression is to simplify, cut the clutter, less is more. Depression is like an unwieldy load that requires concentrated attention or it will squash you. A good friend of mine said that the way to stay free is to keep a clean slate. He was not referring to depression, but the same principle can apply. When we allow our attention to be split into too many avenues, we allow the load that
hovers to squash our candle. In our "modern" world with a zillion choices vying for our attention the wonder is that depression is not the norm. Being a monk or becoming a priest or joining an army seems like a good way to avoid depression.
Ric
Very true.
I totally believe in cutting out the clutter, the noise, the superficial. It seems to me...the more complex we make our life...the unhappier we become. Time is so precious. I want to spend it wisely.
Thanks for your thoughts.
MM