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What It Feels Like To Be Depressed

When I look back at old photos from over the years, I come to the immediate conclusion that I have never been able to hide my inner states from the camera.  There is a story there in the old black and white images, the grade school portraits, and the more contemporary digital renderings.  D...
Anonymous
Anonymous
8/25/08 4:38pm

I have friend who suffers from depression.  It took me a while to really understand that  depression, the type you are writing of,  is different from the ups and downs anyone suffers through when bad things happen.  I have gained a little insight in talking to my friend.

 

I do have to say that sometimes its hard to get my depressed friend to hear words like "hope" when they are deeply down,  as I put it.  It is good to hear this coming from someone like you who really does know what depression means, and still can see the hope.  I will have to ask my friend to come here and read this sometimes so as to know its not just me trying to talk of hope.

8/26/08 5:15pm

Yes please do tell your friend that there is always hope.  I am so glad you came by to read and comment.  Thank you!

8/25/08 4:44pm

I didn't think it possible for you to outdo yourself from the inaugural post. I believe you did. They're both great.

 

My photos told a similar story. They are, but a few, gone. Torn up and discarded by me. I never liked the look I saw. Wonder why? I had nothing comparable to you during my youth. Except possibly, my mortification came from acne, ever prominent then but not when very young. There were smiles too; still are, many often, not so real.

Then, in later paragraphs, much of what you feel, so do I. You can do with words and experience, what most cannot do. So, it will be good to read your work. I may disagree, you seem to have earned the Expert title.

 

Hope. You say. It's worth, going by the first two posts, staying here to see if it exists.

8/26/08 5:18pm

I am so appreciative that you took the time to read and comment.  I will maintain that I am not an "expert" in any traditional sense of the word but I can honestly say I know depression well, if that makes sense.  I hope you keep reading and sharing. 

8/26/08 12:48am

Merely Me/ Diane -

 

This is just about a perfect piece of writing. I'm delighted to see your work now in a third context. And the theme of images is one that's close to my heart. It was by looking at photos of myself as a little kid that I could see what was happening - it was part of opening my eyes to the pervasive impacts of depression. What you say about trying to avoid being in a photo is exactly what I felt about images of myself as long as I was unaware of what was happening to me. It was unbearable to see any glimpse of me in a picture - part of the inner conviction of feeling so worthless and ugly inside. It's even on my list of future posts to look at images of "growing up blue." You have brought this theme out so beautifully here. Congratulations on work well done!

 

John D

8/26/08 6:59am

Oh hello there!  I had no idea you also wrote here!  Thank you for reading my article and your kind words.  I am so honored that you took the time to read me.  I know that you know this topic well....your writing is excellent.  Anyways...I am just thrilled that you stopped by.

Anonymous
Robert Parish
8/26/08 8:33am

Beautifully written. An amazing perspective. Laughing

8/26/08 5:14pm

Thank you so much!  I hope you keep reading...there is so much that this community can offer. 

Anonymous
stephen
8/26/08 5:05pm

i finally faced up to what was a very long standing depression about 10 years ago, and find that it is a lot like dealing with alcoholism - i will always be in recovery, constantly watchful for signs of myself sliding back down the hole, and learning how to prevent the slide, and how to pull myself out. your use of photos is a great one, tho i can always put on a camera face, so no one knows how much pain there is inside.

 

two great books - the wisdom of depression, by the unfortuneately named dr. Jonathan G. Zuess, and darkness visible, by william styron. thanks for sharing this so honestly. it is not easy, i know, but it helps all of us.

8/26/08 5:13pm

hey stephen...I do appreciate you coming by to read me.  I know you as a kindred soul in this.  You are so right...it is a continuous battle.  At least it has been for me.  Thanks so much for sharing and I hope you come back to read more.  It is a really good community here.

Anonymous
Nadja Tizer
8/26/08 8:08pm

In a word "poignant."

8/26/08 8:42pm

Thanks so much Nadja for coming to read me!  I hope you come back to read more.

Anonymous
Jen
8/27/08 10:44am

Hi Merely Me---

 

I've been adding stuff to my website and trying to build up a collection of MS bloggers and health writers that I feel best represent the MS experience.  I have to say that each person I have linked to I hold in the highest regard and I feel that each person adds something unique to the blogroll.  My focus will be information and news about MS, since my own strengths lie in journalism, not blogging. I would like to add this column to my list (I did the same with Lisa's) because it's a great resource for MSers looking for straight information, but with a warm and caring touch.

 

Jen @MSfriend

 

PS: Personally, I like your writing style the best!  Excellent article.Laughing

8/27/08 8:57pm

Absolutely...sure.  Feel free to add me to your link list.  And thank you for coming by to read and share.  I am just starting out here but I am really feeling good about the spirit of community present at this site.

8/29/08 8:09pm

Hey, I fail to check back in on this post since Monday/Tuesday.  Now I see that you've had visits (and comments) from Stephen, Nadja, AND Jen who says she likes your writing 'the best.'  Stephen and Nadja haven't visited ME over at MS Central.  bleh.

 

Ok.  Pity party over.  You've got a great fan base.  Keep it up girl.

Anonymous
Mr. Toast
8/31/08 9:29pm

If writing helps you to cope with your depression, it's also good for your readers who benefit from your insights and experiences. So may I say...

 

Write on!!

:-)

 

 

 

 

8/31/08 9:46pm

Writing absolutely does help! 

 

Thanks for the visit mister toast!

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