The Happiness Box

Terrific idea.....I have many mementos of good times, wonderful people, etc...but not right by my bed all in one place.  Good idea!  Sadly, there are people who, at times, for whom this might backfire. (I know someone who actually had a terrible response to this because he was in such awful shape that his despair had taken hold....his being shown old photos of his happy family unfortunately just emphasized, at that moment, and in HIS untreated mind - the hopeless feeling.  That things would never be normal again.   If HE knew that tool and could have CHOSEN when to look, it probably wouldn't have hurt so much.   But his family meant well and brought a photo album to the hospital, which in that case made him feel worse.   (Maybe it was that "I should be able to snap out of this feeling when coming from someone else, no matter how much they try to understand).   I guess the key to the happiness box is knowing that person...and what works for them.  But I, too, have discovered it to be a good thing to identify all the good things in life - in MY life - some of the positives that have resulted unexpectedly from the negatives, and rediscovering laughter at certain sitcoms.   At my worst, I could not read and just stared at the tv while my husband laughed and when a comment was made about the plot or remark on tv, I admitted I was looking at the screen but not watching...my mind was elsewhere or nowhere.   I "assigned" myself the homework of finding a sitcom I could tolerate (!) and watch every day.   I started watching reruns of everybody loves Raymond or, initially, King of Queens.   K of Q must have had something I could relate to...maybe the funny father who references his pills and is just flat out an absurd character...but after awhile I realized it did 2 things:  momentary distraction if I FORCED myself to pay attention.  And, like so many other "maintenance" things, it put a little laughter for healing into the mix.   I'd forgotten, due to traumatic family situation, that I was not only allowed to laugh, but that I NEEDED to unleash those helpful chemicals....and they were - helpful..

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Merelyme, this is brilliant. Like you, I love books, and my ex was a great cook whereas, I cannot boil water (he made a nice low cal cheese cake too).

 

I like the idea of a happiness box, I have heard it referred to as a "grounding kit' before, but your title is much nicer .

 

And the other thing that can lift me out of depression is watching my cat and listening to her purrrrrr...

 

 

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Seems you possess the magic wand on your happiness box I mentioned in your first or second post. :)

 

What works for me, sometimes, is a decade of memories, days and nights on the Allegheny River, far north of Pittsburgh. All seasons, walking everywhere. Autumn's brisk air, while looking at at blue sky through colored leaves. Animals crackling through them in the dark. Winter snow. Spring, watching nature come alive. Summer's heat dissipated during all night fishing on the river. Lying on a huge rock on a mountain top, watching hawks circle above. I go too long again, sorry. But you're right, there should be something.

 

The raising of babies; the memories of true friends, what we did, the easiness of it. The comfort. Music, always music. I heard your song only sung once well. I doubt I will ever again.

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I tend to seek a poem, or a quote, some idea that takes me out of myself, or perhaps deeper in.  "Luck is fragile, and I must touch it gently."  Both quote and poetry.  I will save this for my box.

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i love your happiness box, a very creative solution. i've learned that when i get depressed, i tend to withdraw from the world - and no one realy wants to be around me. i read in some book, can't remember which one, that this is one of the functions of depression. as so well said in the song by wes cunningham: "it's just god's way of pulling me out of the world." i find that i need that time alone - my silence - to just be and allow the depression to work it's way through me and out.

 

but i will also try building a happiness box!

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I turn to my cat during down times.  He always makes me smile and he keeps me focused on his needs.  I also like watching reruns of old shows.  Especially Seinfeld. 

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merely me, i have found, having suffered depression from a young age, that a simple unbridled acceptance of the situation helps to loosen the knots of depression, though it is hard to frame acceptance in a mind that feels tired and overwhelmed but i 'just breathe' and say to myself, 'this is it, this moment is everything i have so accept it and let it be'

and i find the tension sense that my depression carries seems to smooth, so i have made it a practice to just accept accept accept and i find quite by accident or perhaps by magic, that i am soon accepting a larger sense of well being, and that larger sense gains more strength and honest to goodness depression lifts

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Dear Merely Me,                                                 9/17/08

                             I do not have a 'Wish Box', however I would put pictures of scenes of places I may or may not have visited so I could daydream I was there.  And when I say daydream (i.e., I am a visual learner) I mean hear the waves and bird calls at the beach, as well as feel the chilly wind with small patches of warmth from direct sunlight on my skin.

                              By the way, I am curious.  Is the reason you are not more consistently aided by antidepressant medication due to the meds or something else related to your MS?  My antidepressant (SSRI) consistently relieves my symptoms unless I forget to take it, or if I choose to ingest a depressive substance (e.g., alcohol).  Also, if my stress levels are inordinately high for extended periods, the serum level of my medication may not be able to handle the depressive symptomology (e.g., when I am abused by employers, requiring me to work 60 hours a week for 40 hours of pay).  I have lost several positions due to my resultant depressed behavior in the preceding example, I might add.

                              I really enjoy your contributions.  You have a very descriptive style of writing.  I am sure you are helping many readers by your gifts.  rar1951

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I admire your zest for the world and the simple things in life that you have such passion for. Thank You for this article.
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