How to Win Friends and Influence People When You are a Depressed Introvert

I have to tell you that although I knew the group members would be understanding of my shyness, I was still quite nervous.  Meeting a group of new people is absolutely nerve wracking for me.  I was already sweating buckets when I arrived.  When I finally sat down to meet the others I got to hear some of their stories.  Some had trouble holding down jobs.  One person had been agoraphobic and had been self confined to their apartment for months. Still others talked of using anti-anxiety medication just so they could make it through the day.  I began to quickly realize that social anxiety was on a huge spectrum and that my issues seemed small compared to what others were going through. 

I tried to add to the conversation but I did feel awkward and stilted.  I pictured myself with a bunch of extroverts and I imagined the scenario I am used to.  When I am surrounded by extraverts I can ask a question and the extrovert will go on for days to answer it.  They seldom notice that I haven't said anything about myself.  Not so here with other social scaredy cats.  I used my interviewer style and got very short answers and long pauses.  The silence made me uneasy so I asked more questions at a quicker pace.  I was like Barbara Walters on speed.  Until someone quietly pointed out that I didn't answer any of my own questions.  I blushed with embarrassment.  It was absolutely true.  This group of introverts had called me on my strategy to divert attention away from myself.  It was one of those growth experiences where I realized I had been hiding myself in most group conversations. 

The conversation became a little more easy going as the evening evolved.  But then there just comes a point where I get weary of socializing.  When I said my goodbyes I did feel a sense of pride.  I had taken a risk, had met a group of total strangers, and held my own in trying to make conversation.  And it is never too late to learn new things about yourself.  What I am hoping for is not to become some party going socialite but that I will learn to not be so anxious over social situations.  I have a long way to go but it is a start.

So how about you?  Is it hard for you to meet new people?  Are social groups difficult for you?  How have you tried to overcome your fears if you have them?  I am eager to hear about your experiences.