We live in an outcome based society.  Everything is measured whether it is through profits, grades, or how many friends we have on MySpace.  We humans have evolved into beings defined by the numbers or rankings attached to us.  We also have learned to expect certain outcomes as a sort of pay for performance motto for living. 

Some of these expectations include beliefs such as:

"If I just work hard enough, I can get what I want."

"If I love so and so they will love me back in the way that I want and need."

"If I give this much, I will get this much back."

"If I invest this much time into something or someone, I will be rewarded."

"If I am a good person, bad things won't happen to me."

Of course you can analyze any one of these statements and understand logically that they are not true.  Yet we not only continue to believe such things but we also come to depend upon certain expectations coming true. 

The problem occurs, then, when the unexpected happens.  We lose our job after working so hard.  We lose a friendship despite our giving what we felt to be one hundred percent of ourselves.  We lose sight of a dream although we have great passion.  We fail despite our best efforts.  And sometimes no matter how good we have been, bad things still happen to us.

This is the time when we raise our fists in the air and curse at life's unfairness. 

How do we live with life's inherent incongruence with our expectations?  One solution is to lose our conditions and expectations for a certain outcome.  When we place conditions upon our happiness, we set ourselves up for heartbreak.

How many times have you started sentences with the phrase, "I will be happy when..."?

Why not be happy now?  Who knows whether those conditions will ever come true?  And you just might find that even when the measures of our happiness have been met, we still aren't happy. 

You lose the weight, get the job, buy the house, get the wedding ring, take the perfect trip, play the perfect game of golf and there is still a hole.  It is possible to spend so much time fussing about getting what we expect that we miss out on enjoying right now.  Life is not some direct line between points A, B, and C.  The in between parts are just as important.  I am sure you have heard the John Lennon quote: "Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans."  There is a lot of life to enjoy and appreciate that has nothing to do with our expectations.

Does this mean that you shouldn't have dreams or move towards accomplishing goals?  Absolutely not.  It is essential to work towards a dream.  It is good to want things.  Do that work and dream that dream.  But let go of the need for things to turn out a certain way.