There are possibly many other reasons why people engage in self-harm but these are the ones which I have consistently heard from both the literature and first hand accounts from people who hurt themselves.
What can be done?
I feel that what helped me the most was the professional help I got from a therapist. Having someone to talk to and to let out all those emotions was a tremendous relief. Also having other outlets to meet the need is essential. Basically you need to replace the cutting or other self injurious behavior with a more healthy way to cope. Artistic expression offers a huge realm of possibility for those who self-injure. When I discovered the power of journaling and writing, this did decrease my need for other measures to cope. Some people draw or paint. Others turn to physical activity like martial arts or running. You need something to get all that volcanic emotional activity out of you but in a way that won't hurt you.
Short term solutions are to immediately call or write someone when that urge is strong to hurt yourself. Distract yourself as long as you can from doing it until the mood passes. Do rote things like type a thousand X's, recite a poem over and over, march in place, snap a rubber band, anything which is rote and methodical to get you over the worst of it.
Self-injury can become an addiction of sorts. Some of the methods and treatments can be helpful here as well. Remove the instruments in your home which you use to self-harm or instruct someone else to keep watch over them.
There truly are no easy solutions. It is an incredibly difficult process to break free of this behavior. And it makes me weep to think that there are so many people out there who struggle with this.
I am going to leave you with a lyric from a song by Kimya Dawson as well as some resources. If you need help with this, please do reach out to a trusted friend, therapist, or write a question or post here to this site.
These lyrics are from Dawson's song, "Loose Lips" and when I first heard them I cried:
"so if you wanna burn yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
and if you wanna cut yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
and if you wanna kill yourself remember that I LOVE YOU
call me up before your dead, we can make some plans instead
send me an IM, i'll be your friend"
Resources:
1-800 DON'T-CUT (800-366-8288)
SAFE Alternatives Program
American Self-Harm Information Clearinghouse
