I once had a VERY control oriented therapist who REFUSED when I asked if she could sit in on of the other ‘client chairs' so that I might not feel so intimidated by her, as I had female and Authority issues. This did not give me a good feeling as it was only my second or third session with her! As time went on I tried to cancel treatment with her, because I didn't feel like this relationship was helping me any. Whence I would voice this decision, she would challenge me with a judgmental response that "most times when a client wants to cancel therapy it usually means that they are encountering protective feeling around their issue."
Then fore she would talk me out of my decision to cease counseling with her. After many frustrating attempts to stand up for my gut instincts, I decided that I would use ‘my' time wisely, and made a statement that I wanted to address something at the end of the session, if she would remind me ten minutes before it ended and I would discuss it at that time When the time came, I told her that I considered what she had regurgitated many times about the classic quit-response, and that I felt that she had been very rigid in her style, position, and was in fact, very intimidating and that I had decided to quit seeing her for counseling and would not allow her to use ‘my time' nor her intimidating to talk me out of it!
I felt quite sure, confident and empowered by both my decision and my method.
Either the green man was pledging for a fraternity, and could not let on... or some therapist need therapist.
I know that part was funny, but you do touch on a real shortcoming in our present system: that for the uninsured, the under insured, and those who are not rich, therapy of any kind can be hard to come by. All the more reason that you try and make the most of it by getting someone you can connect with and who is really working to help.
Thanks for all your insight.
In these days of low insurance and economic hardship I don't think most of us can give a therapist a prolonged benefit of the doubt. I say two sessions. If your gut says you are not comfortable then cut the umblical cord.
It is important to remember that a therapist is your employee. He is working for you and not the other way around. So ...... if things do not click then it is time to get out.
There is just too much at stake. Even more important than the money is the delay a bad therapist will cause in getting you feel better.
I once was in a major accident, with some major injuries...i seeked help regarding the trauma. the counsillor I ended up with, I got through the church. Somehow...it wasnt a good fit. I am dead serious when I tell you this...she wanted to bring her chickens, named KFC and Rainbow to our sessions...this didnt go down well...she somehow seemed to have lost her....um...chickens. So I ended up discontinuing sessions with her.This was a couple of years ago. I didnt seek help until 5 years later when all these issues came boiling to the surface again. I have a wonderful therapist now!!! Although the relationship between us is any other relationship...I do get angry at her from time to time...but have learned that this is just a part of the process. she really is amazing!!!
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Sounds like your second therapist was a frustrated actor pretending to be a therapist he saw in movies with an expressive drawl. Doesn't explain the green though. I would have had to ask what he meant by, how does what feel about how I feel?
Heh, seems like you did your homework too perfectly.
Thank you for this, it helps to know some questions to ask; that they'll speak on the phone beforehand has to be a good sign. The traits you listed in part one are of great help, and the minimum to try, depending on the complexity. It's easy to use any excuse at first to stop. Trust, and skill. Seems hard to find both at once.
It's such a coincidence - I just had to fire my APRN who was prescribing my meds - nice woman, but not really knowledgeable, and I knew I had to do this, but just kept putting it off. Finally, for the second time of her not returning my phone calls for days -this time I was having an extreme side effect from a med - couldn't swallow - after four days of calling and no response - and me going to the E.R. - she text messaged me saying "I'm really sick. Too sick to talk on the phone," That was IT!!! With in days -actually last Monday, I found a new psychiatrist - she seems like a world of difference, and I felt taken care of, and she seems to know what she's doing. When I called my APRN, after I calmed down, she seemed shocked (she actually answered her phone). Amazing. So unprofessional. I knew this was coming, but I've had bad experiences with other providers, and did not want to go through one more, so I kept hanging on...not good. She had no one covering - nothing. So I guess she did me a favor, because I've known for months that I've needed someone else. Thank you for letting me share here and vent!
You are wonderful as always,
Mara