I think humor has saved my life. I seem to like twisted, dark humor and get bored with ha-ha, slapstick stuff. I don't even know where I got it from, maybe it was from my great-aunts who used to get together (with my grandmother) and tell naughty jokes and laugh their heads off and I got to be with them quite a few times. So, I am thankful for that, it got me through my childhood and other challenging times in my life. Some days I think it's disappeared, but then, every once in a while, something will hit me. I survived the worst years of my job by thinking about how, if it hadn't already been done, I would have written the Dilbert cartoons. Yes, it's a mask, but it's also a coping mechanism and one could do worse. I think it's true that it can keep people at a distance, though, and I know I've used it when having to deal with angry people, which is about the last thing I want to be doing. I grew up with so much of it and I just wanted to escape. At least I didn't do drugs - humor is at least socially acceptable!
Yeah, I even use humor to keep my shrink from being bored. He tells me I am his favorite patient--just like Ellen DeGeneres or Erma Bombeck. He looks forward to the comedy hour I provide and hide behind. I also can snow shrinks and myself with psychobabble bullshit because I hold a Masters Degree in this field. It takes crazy to know crazy, I always say. And like most true comics, I get way carried away on my own bullshit.
I also think high intelligence is also correlated with humor. Someone who is really funny has also likely got very good observational skills of people around him or her. A case in point, the fine example in this blog of Bernie Mac as a young child watching his mother weep. But we comics observe ourselves too and find so many things lacking.
I use self-depreciating humor which everyone finds hilarious. I am always the most popular nut during my in-patient hospitalizations. I try to watch my tendency to get "pointed" with others in my comments--which then may be cruel and not funny--something done to me hurtfully time and time again throughout most of my 55 year life. For instance, I told a friend who hurt me time and time again, this in exasperation: Kathy, maybe your husband might talk to you some if you quit constantly criticizing him when he's try to help you (with big things such as the entire Thanksgiving Feast for 8 people). I know that Sam loves your profile with your lips CLOSED! Everyone laughed and fortunately Katie grew up with four brothers and laughed too, but I was deffinitely being retaliatory, as she criticizes me for things that I am sensitive about such as extreme nervousness (You are such a spazz!), way too skinny (I can see your veins in your arms and your arms are so bony--you better wear long sleeves!). A saint I try to be, but most definitely, I am not-- just someone who uses humor to get by after a terrible life in an unkind and lonely world that is funny it its cruel absurdity.
Although I have a very picky sense of humour (you'd be surprised how many things my family find amusing that I go 'okay...' at) I do agree with what you said. I think most comedians have learnt how to funny as a coping mechanism. And I have gotten myself through many tough times by watching things I find amusing (like the American version of 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?' and the Australian version of 'Thank God You're Here' - I love the improv shows!).
It's not my only technique but it is certainly a very useful tool to have on your belt, so to speak. Go the comedy!
Jim Carrey's statement that he decided anti-depressants were not for him and he needed to process his feelings, is quite fine for him. My caution to others is that in deep clinical depression it is not enough to process feelings, and medications can be a life-saving first step in altering a chemical imbalance - pills AND skills are what is needed. I worry that some people might think they are inadequate if processing feelings is not actually lifting their depression, and wanted to affirm that for many medication is a necessary part of treating this medical illness.
When I go through a serious, disabling depressive episode, the heaviness and sadness in my gut is intolerable and simply paralyzing.
By the vivid nightmares I have where I'm so antagonized I wake myself by yelling at the players because they 'just won't listen, or hear me', I have a very good picture of the traumas that have slammed me one after another in my life.
When I'm just feeling 'regular' sad and teary, once I am finally 'out' someplace, I never show that sadness. I talk too much, everything has a double meaning, nothing but puns and jokes.
When I tell someone I just can't do something or go someplace, they think I'm just lazy, that all I have to do is get up and get dressed and go because I'm just so jolly all the time. I can't begin to count the times I've sat all dressed in a chair and not being able to get up and open the door. I always end up laying down and falling asleep. People have no idea how we really are, and how good we are at only taking our 'happy face' out in public.
Nothing seems to alleviate this serious depression with it's pain and symptoms. I've been taking a combo cocktail (one of many) and it just wasn't working. So I decided to detox myself (I'm doing this now) and then try to find a new psychiatrist to try and better evaluate my condition and start fresh with meds and other therapies if they are available. I can't ever tell my county psych how I figure out almost every day how I'm going to kill myself because I'll get put in a hospital where nothing but more trauma happens.
Hi there!
Wanted to say hello to both of you...I had missed these comments until today darn it!
I absolutely agree with what you two are saying and I applaud you for saying it. Yes...sometimes medication is necessary. Depression is on a spectrum. Everyone is different in how mood disorders can manifest. But there is a strong biological component to this. And this aspect needs to be addressed. I feel this component is stronger for some than for others.
I always want to give a balanced view of things here on this site and if I don't...I absolutely want you...the reader...to call me on it. I want everyone to have their say and to speak the truth of their experience.
So thank you both! Please keep sharing your insights here. You are much appreciated.
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Sorry, have no idea why that font got huge for the second half of my post.
hello
It's a variation on grimaldi the comic.
But to the point it is essential correct.
Sometimes the comedians can't even make themselves laugh, or if they do it's out of spite.
Hello, I wonder if I'm home
Hello, immigration the puerto ricans have knocked on your door by mistake and they don't want to go home.
I wonder what life was meant to be like.
Thanks for your observations
Hello jpw
happy monday.
Ok, So my wife goes to the doctor.
Doctor says whats the problem?
Wife says, I believe I have cancer!
Cancer says the doctor, well you need a divorce lawyer then....
I brought my dog to the groomer the other day.
The lady says, Ok put your dog in that tub over there and you get in the one next to it.
Good Story!
Pat
Jpw, great jokes.
I have a couple: I baked and frosted a chocolate cake yesterday, and I saved a few
pieces for today.
I am usually wide awake by five PM, then I roll over and go back to sleep.
You know who your best friend should be? Yourself!
great reply
Its one of the only ones i've got
Jpw