My Depression Connection Question of the Week!

If I didn't suffer from depression and anxiety I think I'd like to go all the way to a PHD in school, but currently I'm not sure if that will ever be possible. The reason for this is that with my anxiety levels and mood changes being what they are getting up in front of a group is probably the worst thing anyone can make me do, much less when a large grade is attached to it! If I wasn't doing that I think I'd like to travel more and worry less about the "what ifs" of taking a vacation. I find that right now with the way things are each detail has to be covered and all the i's dotted and t's crossed before I make a move on anything which is really not practical but atleast with the order and accuracy I don't tend to freak out as often on a weekly basis.

Not in my mind, anymore anyway. I believe that when I stopped abusing my body with Gluten that I released a lot of the depression/anxiety that I was suffering with. It was really strange but Saturday I was sitting thinking about the days before and how down I was getting. So I sat with my wife and explained to her that I was thinking of taking the lexapro again. She agreed cause she was picking up on the low feelings. So I took a good dose of vit c and .5 mg of the lexapro. Not ten minutes later I was feeling better. My tinnitus had been strong but quickly subsided to a tolerable level and I was lifted to a new feeling. I really dont know what couldve made me feel better unless an evil spirit had just left the way he came. I havent taken any lexapro since then and I feel just as well. Maybe I have another allergy that I need to discover. Anyway I believe the only thing holding me back is finances. I would love to travel the world, cause "The World I know" is Eugene, Or and that is depressing in itself.

If I had the money I would put out a large reward for the cure to tinnitus. When the tears roll down its for those that feel what I do. Its very hard to laugh at myself anymore.

P.S. Since going gluten free I have shrunk down 4 pant sizes 36 to a 32. Amazing huh?

Pat

that is very difficult to say what i'd do.it feels like i've been depressed all my life & full of anxiety at some points too.i can't see through.if i had  a lot of money i'd like to travel.i've never even been in an airport .

If I didn't suffer from anxiety and depression I think I'd like to be a university professor. I like sharing experiences and teaching. I also enjoy conducting research and writing (non-fiction). I don't have any problems even now with public speaking. Unfortunately I have trouble focusing and being disciplined in my thoughts. I don't do well any more with criticism either.

I can still do some of these things but I don't think I could make a living at it. I would be fired in no time. For now I think I'd enjoy being a guest speaker in a class or a temporary substitute or something like that.

Well, here I am retired and theoretically, free to do anything.  I've barely ever let myself think about what I'd like to do but for a while now, I've thought about writing a book and it always feels promising if I'm taking a writing class, but as soon as the class is over, I'm done, it seems.  I don't know if I have a thick enough skin to go through what it takes to get a book published, for one thing.

Another thing that I've wanted to do, I've just started - joining a choir.  The first practice was overwhelming and I have to fight the "I can't do this" talk because I've done it before and I'm pretty sure I can do it again.  It's just that most of the people have been in this group for a long time and right now they're working on music they already know.  It reminded me of being in chemistry class except that chemistry was something I wasn't interested in one little bit and I don't know how I passed it.

I think it's the fear of judgment and being found wanting that stops me from doing other things I've thought about.  So much of my life, even my working life, was about meeting someone else's expectations and while I know that's a part of how things work, I just don't want to put myself in that situation any more.  So if I think about maybe finding a part-time job, it would have to be something that I could work at independently or be flexible enough that I wouldn't feel chained.  If I were doing something I felt passionate about, that would be different, I think.  Part of the problem is that there aren't too many things I feel passionate enough about that I could make a career out of.  (Well, that was kind of an awkward sentence, sorry.)  This was a good question to ask, I think - thanks!

I pretty much am doing what I would do! I'm a full time student of graphic design and cinematography. The strain is hard, but the benefits are great (a sense of being tied to a worthwhile plan). Without meds, counseling, exercise, friends, organizations like Toastmasters, a vision for serving others, and quiet times, I would be lying on my back most of the day waiting for night.

I would be doing what I am currently fighting towards - having an acting career. Oh how much easier would that be if I didn't feel like I had to fight out of a claustrophic net just to take a few steps in the right direction? The industry is hard for anyone let alone someone who has to fight herself on top of it all...

I might also have a real relationship with someone - I'm not very good at those. Not even ones with my friends and family - I'm always holding back, watching what I say and do, never truly just being myself. And forget a romantic relationship. At the moment I'm kind of attracted to someone but I won't act on it cause of anxiety, without going into it too much there are certain things I can't do (and perhaps to clear some confusion I mean I hate it when someone enters my personal space... maybe that just made it more confusing but I guess I don't feel like being explicit today).

I think that in time it may be possible to achieve at least some of the stuff I want despite the depression and anxiety, that hope is the only thing that keeps me going, but man would it be so much easier if everything wasn't such a struggle.

     I would be more outgoing and have friends!  I'd be a social butterfly.  I'd like to participate in classes at the gym, at the art museum, at the quilt shop and at the craft center.  I'd be active in the community.  I'd take a 2nd language class.  I'd volunteer at the city parks and rec. dept., at the city zoo and etc. 

     Currently I avoid all of these things because it is COMPLETELY EXHAUSTING to me to "ACT" like I'm all good and that everthing is great.  It's hard enough to do this at work!  By the end of the work week, I'm spent!

if i werent depressed i would do the things i normally want to do instead of worrying about myself so dang much. I would have a job, i would go shopping and not worry aobut taking food or things from my kids. I would not have to go to my husband for support. I would stand on my own two feet and say get over yourself already. You have done this before with this disease in your head, you can do it again.

At this point, do i see any  of this a reality. NO. i have gotten hooked in a chat room that is supposed to be for NA people in yahoo and to tell you the truth it is more like a childish coffee after work or meetings place to go. I dont really learn anything in there other than occassionally a positive affirmation was given to me. But to be quite honest, it is a place for me to go to be able to talk as much as i want as often as i want with nifty gadgets like mics and headphones and what not....turning someone off when i don't want to see or hear what they have to say.

I am so at an overwhelming point regarding my bipolar and all the other stuff, inside my head, and my medical team again seems to be putting me off. Keeping me uneducated, not taking my plight seriously. I am an addict recently admitted. My lamictal is making me sick, or the 5mg of melotonin that i take to sleep that doesnt seem to be working. Here i go again on a tangent.

I answered the question, i will post a sharepost to get the other stuff off my chest. Good question Merely Me...i like some of the answers. Positive affirmations are good, but I am nowhere near that point.

What would I be doing if I weren t depressive?  Working at my old job as a surgical nurse. Being emotionally balanced and living life normally and loving it!  Kelti

Wow! That's hard to imagine as I believe I had depressive symptoms most of my life, so here goes.

I'd like to believe that I would have done better in school, maybe furthered my education (terrible concentration issues; I was always the 'class clown'), maybe had the confidence to actually approach women I was attracted to rather than 'shying away' & not feeling attractive or worthy enough, having a rewarding career?

Hey, I'm not 'crying in my beer' as I do believe that we can ultimately make our lives whatever we wish. I played the hand I was dealt to the best of my abilities (perceived) & am grateful for my life. Bottom line, "We can make a hell of Heaven, or a Heaven of hell".

If I didn't suffer from depression, I would probably be doing the same things with my life as I am now, I would just be happier.  I have always been able to remain functional, so I have still accomplished a lot in my education, career, etc.  I just feel if I were not depressed I would get a greater feeling of accomplishment and reward. 

There are a lot of things that I have not done, but I don't think that the depression is what holds me back.  I would like to travel, move out of my hometown and just experience life more. 

However, I think the main thing would be that I just would be able to enjoy each day free from the worries and the despair.  That in itself would be the biggest blessing.  Just to never wake up with that sinking feeling again.

If I didn't have depression and anxiety...

I would do things without second guessing.  I would dive into life.  I wouldn't agonize and suffer over every little thing.  I would be able to relax.  I would enjoy the moments without re-living the past and I would not fear the future.  I would not look at my child's face and worry he will end up like my mother.  I would love freely and allow myself to be loved.  I would shine my light for all to see...unafraid of the fall from grace or expectation.  I would live.

I would live...

And this is about as honest as I can get. 

I could not begin to answer this question because without the depression I would not be ME. I'd be someone else. So you may as well ask me would you like to be someone else? And my question would be NO I am happy as I am.

To everyone with mood challanges.  I am 44 and without my depression or anxiety I would not be the person I am today.  It took me 20 years to figure this out and I am free.  I am now going to share what worked for me.  I stopped resisting the dark feelings, the panic attacks, the fear of dying, worrying about my health every second, the wicked cycle in my brain of what if this happened, etc.  Hypnotherapy to calm the mind, meditation to relax, eating right and exercise saved my life.  I balanced my body, no sugar, no white food, magnesium supplements for my nerves, I stopped drinking alcohol, I make sure I watch something funny everyday and I make a point to control negativity at all costs.  This is my recipe. Once my body is balanced I am completely symptom free.  Don't give up. Women check your hormones.  Starting in your early 30's when your hormones are not balanced can cause severe symptoms that mimick Depression, anxiety and neurological problems.  Doctors are not seeing this.  They just give you pills.  You have to start changing your diet completely by your thirties to keep balanced.  If you have a bad stomach, you will have depression/anxiety symptoms forever.  Here is a test.  Get your monkey mind working and think of something that stresses you out.  Finance, illness, spouses, children, addiction whatever disturbs you.  Now, where do you physically feel this?  In your stomach.  Some of largest nerve paths to our brain is in our stomach.  This is medical science.  When your stomach is distressed your brain will be distressed.  One diet soda is enough to cause a seizure, numbness in face the list goes on. Now think about your diet.  Doctors don't want to teach or accept this theory because they don't make money.  Facts are 90% of all office visits are stress related.  People don't tell doctors the truth about their alcohol, drug, food and stress for fear of having this on their permanent record.  Take a test.  For one week eat three servings of fruit and 4 servings of veggies everyday. Exercise everyday no matter what for at least 30 min.  NO MATTER WHAT.  See how you feel.  If you feel even a little better imagine how you will feel in two weeks, three...I have COMPLETELY healed.  I am now starting a Meditation/yoga/hypnotherapy combo classes.  In each class we do yoga for thirty minutes to breathe right and exercise.  I teach how to meditate for 10 minutes and then I do hypnotherapy for 25 minutes and show each student how to self hypnotize to get rid of anxiety, worry and heal their body. I put up flyers and have had 50 people signed up.  I will have to add more classes.  This just tells me people want to heal themselves because doctors don't know how to help with stress and stress is the cause of depression, anxiety and every illness there is in the world including organic illnesses.  The mind can heal.  You are not weak.  Focus on healing your belly first.  I have so much more to share...excuse the grammer no time to check this post.

Namaste

ITHINK+

i would be holding down a job because i could concentrate when being trained and not have to be retrained all the time.