Hi everyone
Well...I am up for talking about anything you want to talk about tonight. I will leave things open to whatever you all are wanting to say or get off your chest.
But in the meantime...how about a question?
What do you want to do with the rest of your life? And if that is too difficult to answer...answer this instead....what do you want to do with the rest of today?
Not sure if I know the answer to either question...how about you?
What do I want to do with the rest of my life, I think that is still a hazy area for me everyday seems to open different doors and close others. I recall as a kid I wanted to be:
- A dog (they seemed to have a good life having human servants)
- A doctor (till I realized just how many parts of the human body can be damaged and just how many ways people can go about causing said damage)
- A vet (till I learned that meant putting down animals who were very ill)
- A race car driver (till the fantasy wore off and I realized motion sickness would be likely)
Over the last 5 years or so I've wanted to be:
- An Early Childhood Educator (young children have too many nasty bodily functions)
- A Psychologist (the textbooks really made me sound crazy and I'm not sure I could listen to someone's life story every week)
-A hot model [b](just kidding but I bet it made you laugh)[/b]
What I do believe I've decided on however is becoming a social worker, if after that happens I have time I do want to see the world as some of the most amazing people I know still live half a world away most of the time. Besides I can't imagine what it would be like to see the majesty of the Earth and all its glory each culture and country so unique and yet unifed by the premise that we are all human :)
Hi Izzy!
It is hard to decide isn't it? Let's see...as a kid I wanted to be a psychiatrist or an architect. Then I wanted to be a nurse...and then a psychologist and finally ended up a special education teacher. and went to school for social work and then I was a full time mom. and then a writer. and then....?
Have you seen the movie Julia and Julie? I thought it was a fantastic movie...and it got to this question..."so what do you want to do with the rest of your life?" Julia Child...when trying to figure out her life's ambition said..."I like to eat!" and then came her wish to cook. Anyway...our discussion made me think of that movie. I almost want to cook after seeing it. almost. :>)
Good to see you and I hope you get to do everything your heart desires. Never lose your capacity to dream...sometimes that is the only thing left to sustain you.
An interesting question, now that I'm retired. I used to want to be a doctor, a lawyer, a nun, a teacher - well, none of those panned out and I ended up working for a company of suits and something that I never thought I'd be - a wife and mother. And now, I'm even a grandma. I'm hoping to get to Europe, one way or another, maybe stop in and visit Rose! I wanted to be involved in music and I've recently joined a choir, so there's one down, and I think I'd like to write a book, whether published or not - I've got a chapter or two done. Besides that, I want to spend more time with people who fill me up and less with those who suck up my energy and I don't mean that I don't want to give anything to anybody, but I want to GIVE it, not have it drained. I wish I had had a dream to pursue when I was younger so I wouldn't have ended up in Corporate America for more than half my life, but maybe it's making me appreciate other things more now. Oh, yes, and I want to spoil my grandson rotten, bake him cookies and build a relationship with him like I had with my grandparents. That last one is the most important to me.
Hi Judy!
It is very good to see you today. Well you know...I like to think that life steers us where we are supposed to be at any given time. I bet that you have a lot of life experiences from being in corporate america that you would not have otherwise. Maybe...some entrepreneurial business skills so that when you finish your book...you will have the know how to sell it.
That Julia Child...she was in the business world before she started her cooking career. I think it helped her.
Being a grandma...that is the most special job in the world! I like to bake cookies too...what kind do you make? I have not told anyone this but...I collect cookie cutters. I have a zillion of them but I have no more room. I have ones for every holiday. Happiness is definitely a cut out sugar cookie with sprinkles.
Now see...I am more happy than I was just talking to you about cookies. How do you like that? 
Merely Me, I make a lot of different cookies at Christmas, way too many. My oldest son's all-time favorites are from my Betty Crocker cookbook, called Galaxy Cookies. They're basically flour, butter, powdered sugar and almond flavoring and you roll the dough into balls, around a few chocolate chips or a nut or whatever you want, then when they're done you dip them in a glaze and sprinkle with colored sugar. Lately, there's been a huge demand for a chocolate chip recipe that has instant vanilla pudding in it - once you've had one of these, you'll never go back to regular chocolate chip cookies again!
Maybe we should have a recipe exchange! Oh, that's right, this is a depression web site. 
Wow....galaxy cookies! I can visualize them in the Betty Crocker cookbook! That page is turned down in my cookbook for another recipe there. I have never made the galaxy cookies...I should!
Pudding eh? Hey...I am all up for swapping recipes. Um...not that I have any really. I have always wanted to be a good cook. Maybe it is not too late to try. I am the sort who burns popcorn in the microwave.
Do you like snickerdoodle cookies? Those are really good too.
Julia was in the OSS during WWII.
WOW.
THAT would prepare you for ANYTHING.
Regarding the question:
Anything! Nothing. Something?
"Here I stand head in hand...Turn my face to the wall." The Beatles
Get in bed and turn my face to the wall.
I currently have three or more "projects" in various states of incompletion.
But that belongs on the ADHD site.
I'm up and down but the shrink says I am not bipolar. I have my opinion about that.
From ACOA...I would offer: Give yourself a good hug (really) and permit yourself to be what you are, just for a short while.
From the Holy Bible: He set his face like flint.
(Do that and then get busy.)
I just want everyday to be better than today. Today was a low point for me. My battle with the outside unseen forces has come to a head and I know that I must find a different goal because those unseen forces are ignorant of me and my suffering. Today I spent all day feeling the nerves in my body pulsating. Tonight my RLS kicked in from long ago. Today the selfish sexual desires of my wife almost pushed me out the door. To where? Anywhere but here!
Sometimes I think about just walking away.
Pat
Hrrrmmmmm...I'm pretty sure what I want to do today and I feel like I know what I'm going to do with the rest of my life.
Today I'm going to take a nap, teach my dog how to play hide and seek, write a poem, crochet a hat, and make a recipe from Emeril Lagasse (my favorite chef of all time!)
For the rest of my life:
-learn how to not hold grudges
-learn not to be so angry
-get this stupid depression thing off my back (even though I haven't been diagnosed yet! More about that after I see my doctor today)
-go to Trader Joe's and buy vanilla flavoring (wait, that's just for today, that got into the wrong list)
-learn how to love cats (well, maybe not)
-become a forensic scientest
-and then all the little stuff in between that doesn't really matter to me but seems to mean a heck lot to other people- fall in love, get married, get divorced like fifty percent of the population, get old, get first heart attack, die.
That was the most miserable recap of American life I've ever heard.
Chow!
Allyce 
Well, my main goal would be to be happy and cheerful in a world that has forces unseen that will keep that from happening everyday. That would be too easy in this life of testing.
I have already completed and am living the goals I set out to be or live when I was young. I attended the university of my choice, completed a BS degree and have worked in that field of study, actually all my life, and still do, but not always getting paid in a monetary manner. I found my husband in a most unusual circumstance and he stood up to the list I had of qualifications. Now the dream of the cottage w/ the picket fence and vines growing about and happy children, have come to pass, but wasn't a daily event and not without struggle and pain.
My innocence of the world that all are kind and friendly had gradually whittled away as I grew in knowledge and experience. The most surprising is the pain that comes from the most trusted person or people, that usually has your best interest at heart. But I needed to go through some of these trials to grow in strength, love and forgiveness.
So my future revolves around conquering these passed pains, hurts and disappointments to living a life of peace and productivity, in spite of the war wounds and scars that can keep me down.
My dream is to have a peaceful home, orderly, fun, inviting, clutter free, fresh, clean and safe. Physically and financially sound and conducive to the productivity of the family members' dreams.
Now to achieve this dream will take some work, sacrifice, discipline, knowledge, patience, money, mental clarity, alertness, physical energy, understanding and a lot of prayer! Probably a lot of talk therapy to boot. And this is without the handicaps of old age, catastrophies, criminal mischief, interference of well-meaning family and friends, and devious business associations.
Gee, I'm gonna need a lot of help!
Hey...these are good goals...I like them!
I know how it is to try to deal with all the past traumas. It would be nice to have some years free of troubles so that one can simply catch up with all the past stuff. I am still working on stuff from childhood so maybe when I am fifty I can begin to work on my teen years and beyond.
Thank you for contributing to our discussion...I always love hearing from you.
First I'll start with today-
I started today feeling horrible. Another day...Another drugery.
Got myself together, got in the car, and then it struck me. Most of the pain I have been feeling has been a direct result of me. My own cognitive distortions were killing my self esteem and driving me deeper into my own black mood. The more I worked myself up about how bad things were, the deeper and darker my view became.
I really had had enough. .......I made myself so angry that finally....I decided that if I can put so much effort into being paranoid, upset, and despondent, at least I can try a little effort into being at peace. There in the car, I decided that I will try a little peace just for today. No bitchin, complaining, or anger. Just a teeny tiny itty bitty effort into peacefulness..Just for the moment at least.
So far....today's ok. That want I want to do for the rest of my life.....Have a bunch of OK days. The depressed days suck, but the OK days...well they're are a lot better after all.
Tomorrow I'll conquer the world. Today I'll make peace...with myself at least.
Yes...Until about about 9:00 pm. The all chaos broke loose at home between family members. A misunderstanding blew up into a an argument then etc... No violence, just volume.
But to be perfectly honest, with the day being mostly peaceful, I was able to fall back on that small success and maintain composure.
Today's a new day....let's try it again.
My focus has been to get into & graduate from a great university; be a successful professional musican; be a C-Level executive in a top corporation; be an investment banker to buy & sell companies; a college professor; a husband, father & grandfather. Now I want to finish my book (Dec.); spread the word on mental health & continue to be happy, healthy, wise & some-what wealthy. Regards; jjb
i'd like to feel better or die.i'm sick of feeling bad all the time. lack of money,lack of any good feelings.no hope in sight.i don't want to go anywhere.do anything.
I am really sorry that you are feeling this way Janet. What can we do to help?
You had asked me a question somewhere else on the site....was it about meeting people? I have had some success with a site called meet up where they have groups for everything from going to movies or drinking coffee. Also...I am going to be writing something soon about sexuality and depression and give links to folk that might help.
Please keep sharing...always love to hear how you are doing...good or bad.
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Wow, I have so many things on my mind, where do I start. Well, first of all this will probably sound stupid because I have never wrote about it, and my husband knows about it, but doesn't seem to take me seriously. I'm bisexual, but have been married for 17 years and have a girlfriend. My girlfriend and husband get along great and my children adore her. I want to live with her, but also want to live with him. I probably can't have my cake and eat it too, but for the last 3 1/2 years, we have been doing very well. I tell her I love her and call her sweet names, but I do the same to my husband also. So, none of my family (sisters and brother) know about my sexual orientation because I figure it's none of their business. The way my husband and kids and I live, works great for everybody, and when I see my girlfriend, it all works out great also. I had to get that off my chest, and maybe this is why I've been so depressed all my life. I got married before my mom died, and I wanted her to see that, but maybe it was a mistake, knowing I am a bisexual woman, but maybe not. Thanks, ...Love and blessing to all.
Hi there
First of all...it doesn't sound stupid at all. You are just talking about your life and about your sexuality. How does it feel to say this out loud? Where do you see your future? Or more importantly who do you see your future with? These are questions I am sure you have pondered.
I am going to give you a link to The Bisexual Resource Center which provides a list of links to bisexual groups in the U.S., Canada, and Europe.
Thank you for sharing your honesty here. If you need any information or support we are here for you.
@ least you feel more comforable with your sexuality than i do! i think about having a girlfriend but don't know how to find 1.i don't visit bars & i feel guilty because my church is conservative but i love them.