The Depression Connection Question of the Week!

Rose Martin, 

Yours is a very warm comment. Thanks for writing here, regularly. And blessings to you, too.

Dear Ricovring, Thanks for your kind words, means alot to me. I could do with some blessings too ! thanks. Its a subject close to my heart  x

Hiyah Rose

Well...I thank you for your words.  Not sure if I am a good daughter or not but...I do love my mom.  I do feel sad every time I see her...I wish that she had a different life.  She looks like my grandmother did way back when...I guess everyone is getting older.  We did go to Red Lobster and she had coconut shrimp...she began to eat the tails and everything so i cut them off for her.  She was relatively...okay this time.  Sometimes she is agitated but...this time she was calm and we had a good time. 

I am glad I went to see her.  She probably doesn't have many years left but who knows? 

Thank you Rose...for your compassion and understanding.

Schizophrenia and mental illness run in my family.  My mother was institutionalized when I was an infant in the 1950's and subjected to a lobotomy.  At least this is not likely to happen anymore.  The public is much more understanding than they were back then but that does not mean we don't have a long way to go.  However, at least the discussion takes place more openly in this generation.  People fear illness in general and there was a time when people whispered about cancer.  Blogs like this on the Internet will help spread the word. Thank you.

Dear Anonymous, I was born in 1951, I can remember mental health 'care' in the v early 60s. To me lobotomies were a sort of 'Guinea pig' operation and of course kept the patient in control. Barbaric ! Of course Rosemary Kennedy of the famous JFK family had that done by her father coz she was alittle 'innocent' and they thought her conduct a little frisky with men. A man was interviewed on radio here in Ireland recently, English, his father hated him and both his Father and step mother had a lobotomy done to his frontal lobe to keep him quiet.

That was done on the instructions of the father who was influential.

He never needed psychiatric intervention. Of course here up to the 80s it was possible for a husband to have his wife commited to a mental institution under old law if he so wished, many deals were done with Doctors and v sane women were 'put away' convenientally for purposes of new relationships and land .

We seem to have come a long way.. but havent we still got a long way to go?

They still  dont know how ECT works, after an Epilepsy full seizure [grand mal] Doctors noticed patients became calm and relaxed after, hence, the ect.

Side effects of amnesia [permanent] are to me, akin to a lobotomy and v barbaric.   We must lobby our Govt TDs and Senators  about proper Mental health education for the public and stricter controls over psychiatry which after all, is only a pseudo science.

Dear Anonymous, I was born in 1951, I can remember mental health 'care' in the v early 60s. To me lobotomies were a sort of 'Guinea pig' operation and of course kept the patient in control. Barbaric ! Of course Rosemary Kennedy of the famous JFK family had that done by her father coz she was alittle 'innocent' and they thought her conduct a little frisky with men. A man was interviewed on radio here in Ireland recently, English, his father hated him and both his Father and step mother had a lobotomy done to his frontal lobe to keep him quiet.

That was done on the instructions of the father who was influential.

He never needed psychiatric intervention. Of course here up to the 80s it was possible for a husband to have his wife commited to a mental institution under old law if he so wished, many deals were done with Doctors and v sane women were 'put away' convenientally for purposes of new relationships and land .

We seem to have come a long way.. but havent we still got a long way to go?

They still  dont know how ECT works, after an Epilepsy full seizure [grand mal] Doctors noticed patients became calm and relaxed after, hence, the ect.

Side effects of amnesia [permanent] are to me, akin to a lobotomy and v barbaric.   We must lobby our Govt TDs and Senators  about proper Mental health education for the public and stricter controls over psychiatry which after all, is only a pseudo science.

Oh my anonymous...I am so sorry about your mom.  They used to do horrific things to the mentally ill.  My mother was fortunate not to have a lobotomy but she was subjected to shock treatment against her will.  I was fortunate to have always been allowed to stay with her.  As mentally ill as she was...I knew she loved me.  She was terribly neglectful...even abusive (sorry mom) but...it wasn't her fault.  Ya know?

It seems things are a bit better nowadays but...so much more to do.  I want to thank you for sharing your story here.  I am glad you found this site.  Please share more...any time you feel you can or want to.

Thanks Sioux!

You know...it did go well.  I am counting my blessings here.  She knew me just fine and laughed and enjoyed her food. 

You are very kind to comment...thank you.

Your doing a great job with the food and wholegrains, your husband would benefit from olive oil [did you read this site about the benefits to depression of the Meditteranean diet with olive oil and its effects on Serotonin? very encouraging. Also dont forget good old Omega 3s . Even my Prof.of Psychiatry had to agree with me that theres ' quite abit of evidence, that its helping with Depression as well as Arthritis !

Hi Fifi!

You are a good mom and wife...you are so caring and loving.  Your family is lucky to have you.

I did have a good time with my mom and sister but I am glad to be back.  I missed you guys!

I have friends who have mental illness one has bipolar disorder and another has skitzophrenia. It can be hard to take in given at times they both may be going through one of their "difficult days" and I feel like I'm stuck holding things together. On the whole however they are both wonderful people who like me, have differences that make them all the more unique.

More then that however before my grandmother passed away two years ago, she had a range of mental health issues: manic depression, bipolar disorder, and dellusions which at times caused her to run away or set fire to things. It was hard to deal with, especially during times when for her own safety she'd have to be admitted to hospital.

Towards the end of her days she also suffered a great deal of memory loss as well which made things worse as she couldn't remember who she was, much less why we were trying to get her to take her medication. I suppose I almost wish I had found this community sooner, because a lot of my grandmothers care, support and life was placed on me as we couldn't afford a facility that would tend to her needs. I had to quit my job, and essentially become her servant, cooking, cleaning, medication, and soon that grew to even lifting her from bed to a wheelchair or from the chair to the toilet because she couldn't do it on her own.

I have a real admiration and respect for those who tend to the elderly on a daily basis and who meet their needs. Because those last few years for me were hell, and I know then that I resented my grandmother in many ways because looking after her life seemed to be engulfing my life as well. Needless to say I am still sad that she passed on, but I have to think a life where your mind is so far gone that even basic self care like bathing or eating has to be done for you, wasn't life to my grandmother so perhaps now she is content wherever one goes in the afterlife.

 hi izzy i sorta of understand my father in law was sick when i ment and married my husband so i only new him as being ill. when it would get bad my husband would go and pick him up and carrie him the the car and into the hospital and then whan they got him home my husband would have to stay close by for a few days he used all his sick leave up im just glad he never had too use any sick leave until then my father in law went into hospis he only lived for just about 2 weeks the stess was alfull we had a hard time dealing with are own family.

                                   martha

 thank you   

Hi Izzy!

So good to see you...

I didn't know about your grandmother...I am so sorry.  Yeah...I can't imagine how hard that must have been for both you and her.  I was in my twenties when I decided I could no longer live with my mom.  I had terrible guilt about it but...we would not have survived.  Not well anyway. 

You are truly an amazing person...I applaud your compassion and responsible nature...the more you share about yourself...the more impressed I am with you.

I hope school is going well!  Give us more updates as you can.

I hear you Martha...

There is still that worry of stigma and labels.  Not sure how to get around that fear.  Have any thoughts?

Thank you for joining our discussion...always love to hear from you!

Sorry 'bout the little typo.

I am glad I went to see her...I should have taken more photos.  I am definitely going to try to visit her more often.

Thanks for your kind words.

Hi there!

Thank you so much for sharing your experience here...I know it must be so hard for your husband and you...and your whole family.  But it sounds like you have good supports in place?  How do you emotionally cope when he is having a bad time?  Caretakers need help too sometimes. 

I am glad you found our site and...I would love to hear more of your story.  I wish you and your family the best.