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Thank you SO much for this, Merelyme. So very true. We need to learn to tell our story, confidently, without feeling shame - assured within ourselves that there is no need for shame. When we can tell our story naturally, showing that this is a painful "but not unusual" illness, we will make great inroads to beating the stigma. If everyone did this, just think of how this would help!
This site is a great place for people to practise. Then, when they share with the people around them, they will already have gathered the courage they need to inform others in a natural way - not like it's some deep dark thing that has to be kept secret.
I've been telling my story publicly for over ten years now and have found it freeing. Having had articles and a couple of books on my life published, everyone in my life knows what I live with. So neat to be able to live without secrets. And people continue to love and accept me.
I agree, MM, broadcasting your story is not the way to make an effective statement.
Some broadcasting is ok, though. For instance the new NAMI anti-stigma ads on tv.
NAMI also has a program for sharing your story before interested groups as a guest speaker, usually as 2-3. I share sometimes at church, but even there words have to be well calculated to avoid misunderstanding. I'm banking on film being a good medium. That's why I'm studying to be a producer. Film's like "The Soloist" can make a good
impression for our cause.
Dear Marja, What you say about internalising the Stigma is so right ! you put that so well. I realise when I read your post that no matter how I try to intellectualise it in my head 'Its ok to be a depression suffererer' I still hide it from most people, im ashamed, i buy into society and their stigma, their 'youre weak' thinking and I'm not up front about it. My country is very predjudiced re- mental Distress and Depression even though v up to date with medics etc. Your post was v precise and well written and made me think.
Reason I'm commenting so much and feel like I want to do even more than I already have is because this is a topic close to my heart. I think it would be great if people would feel free to speak more openly about their mental illness. Especially if they do so, not for personal reasons, but for the good of the many who suffer like they themselves do.
That doesn't mean that it's what you always talk about. But finding occasions when you could educate people about depression (or bipolar, as in my case) and then go on to explain what it feels like.
Every time I've talked in front of a group, people have come up to me and told me their story, their own experiences. And they're so happy that someone would talk openly about it. It made them feel they were not alone. It made them realize they were okay.
I believe that the more you make discussion about depression and other mental illnesses an okay topic, many more people come out of the woodwork. They no longer have to suffer in silence. It's the silence, the secretiveness that is the hardest to deal with. Stigma is sometimes worse than the disease itself.
I think Merely Me that Children should be educated as well about Mental illness so that they understand it better. I explain to my kids when theres a character on tv and they have come out with some comment or other that wasn't very nice, that Mental illness is an illness like any other and that person needs treatment like any other illness.
If parents are going to say nasty comments, then children are going to copy them.
IT WAS ALMOST A YEAR AGO WHEN MY SPOUSE AND MY DAUGHTER OBSERVED MY ABNORMAL BEHAVIOUR. I WOULD GET IRRITATED AND BUGGED UP FOR ANY PETTY ISSUES AT HOME.HAD TREMENDOUS ENERGY AND WOULD NOT LIKE TO SLEEP MORE THAN 4 HOURS AT NIGHT. WOULD MAKE BIG DECISIONS IN A MOMENT AND BECAME A SPEND THRIFT. WOULD YELL AT EVERYONE FOR APPARENTLY NO GOOD REASONS.LOST INTEREST IN ALMOST EVERYTHING EXCEPT RELEGION. WOULD REMAIN DEPRESSED AND NEGATIVE.MY DAUGHTER AND SPOUSE FORCED ME TO SEEK ADVISE FROM A DOCTOR. FINALLY A PHYSCHATERIC TREATED ME AND KEPT ME ON MEDICATION AFTER DIAGNOSING ME HAVING BIPOLAR. I AM NOW FIT AND FINE. I SPEAK TO MY DOCTOR REGULARLY WHO KEEPS CHANGING MEDICINES AS HE READS MY CONDITION.
I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT ONE MUST NOT AVOID TO SEEK MEDICAL ADVICE IF ONE HAS SUCH SYMPTONS. ONE MUST ACCEPT THE DISEASE AND GO FOR IT.
I agree that more emphasis needs to be in the educational system regarding mental illness. My husband and I have been on a 3 year rollercoaster that I had no idea why we were there until the last year. I did not know that mental illness can affect someone so dramatically and impact the hearts of those around them. He has been on several medications and it doesn't seem to be the right ones. He has depression, ADHD, and bipolar. There are times that I feel I don't know him and wonder where the person I married has gone. We are now separated and it is very difficult because we both still are holding on to some chance of hope for us. I'm trying to better understand as quickly as I can so I can live with the love of my life without feeling broken on a daily basis...
Hi every one, where to start, well the last 15 months have been a living hell, just about anything that could happen in a negative way has happened to me, the death of several very close friends, personal ill health, redundancy, the break up of my marriage, and having my home repossesed to name a few, and in June of this year I was diagnosed as having seratonin deficiency syndrome, which led to a deep depression, in which I have made numerous attempts to take my own life, until I started suffering from depression I was totaly ignorant on mental health issues, but these last few months have opened my eyes, and thanks to a loving family, and a dedicated team of proffesional people, I hope that I have turned the corner, and set foot on the road to recovery. for anyone who is interested I have written several articles on my fight against this terrible disease, they can be found on brianberu@triond.com they can be found under the headings of Living with depression, followed by parts 2&3 in my profile they are in reverse order, anyone suffering please remember that although you feel totally alone you are probably not, and please seek help good night and God Bless to all
Hi Merelyme, I think there still is a lot of stigmatism around mental illness. Just the simple fact that insurances can pay limited benefits implies its going away in a short period of time and you can reach a cap. However if you have a heart condition, it takes way longer for insurances to start limiting treatment. I too have an old neck injury and seem to be able to get unlimited treatments (thank goodness) but my counselor is constantly having to justify treatment. I have struggled with depression my whole adult life. I had post partum depression and my husband was very upset with me. I lost a parent about 3 weeks ago and he does not understand why I'm not ready for a party. He says things like "pull yourself up by your bootstraps". If I could I would. I don't enjoy the nights of no sleep even with anxiety and depression medication. I wish the stigmatism would go away. My entire family is not supportive. If you've never walked in these shoes its hard to understand but the media and the insurance companies do not help the perception
I found out a couple of days ago that a 28 year old man that I knew committed suicide 2 weeks ago. It was his third attempt. It has darkened my days. My father committed suicide in 1989 and a student I had in 5th grade committed suicide when he was in 9th grade. I have BP and BPD and I have attempted suicide 3 times. I almost succeded once. I must say that I am glad that I didn't. I am glad that I am here. I am now 51, remarried, my 3 children are grown and have made me soooo proud. I also have 1 grandson so far.
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Dear Merely Me, I think that the whole attitude to Mental Illness starts with the Media, the Film World, the way that Mental distress is portrayed. For instance, most ongoing or well known Soaps that are watched by millions [even those who dont own up to it !] usually show an alcoholic or a gay person, in fact all the Irish Soaps now have a Gay thing going on, to be politically correct. The days of the Drunk being fun is now portrayed as sad and as needing help. So what about the Mentally Distressed? Again I go back to when I worked with Homeless and people living in Govt.subsidised/built housing [Council], many lived alone, they were gentle souls, most of them carried their Grief and anguish with Dignity, but they were harrased and picked on my Adults and teenagers and kids alike who sensed they looked/walked/acted 'Different' so Crazy was painted on their walls, they were terrorised in their own homes. Sadly this is still happening today. I know 1 particular lady in question, a very self aware Schitzophenia sufferer. When she had hallucinations and was 'away' in her head for awhile, the locals took it upon themselves to jeer her,make fun of her. So much for teaching in schools. Firstly its not about a week. It should be on the curriculum in schools, that it can happen to y o u and even y o u. It should be explained, in an informative and interesting way. The Myths debunked. then the Media needs to start putting people with chronic Depression into its Soaps, films and having them as attractive hard working trying to cope despite dreadful odds. People who are revered in the media should be encouraged to stand up and say 'Im Bipolar', etc. If you give somebody a brochure to read on a street corner about Mental Health Week, they will take it politely and put in the next Bin/ garbage Can. Its not going to happen/doesnt happen to copers like them and more importantly, its a scary subject. Its still Taboo. Why? Because unlike Cancer or Diabetes, each and every human being has fear and anxiety to a certain extent already, the thought of that getting out of control, I think, is frightening. The blackness of Depression is something they dont want to look at, very much like people [including women alas] who cant look at Rape Figures or incest figures because, they couldnt live with the fear if they really thought about it. How dangerous life can be. I decided to 'Come out of the Closet' with my 'so called family' of those I grew up with, I wrote an email. saying that theyd known I was in hosp. for 3wks when I was young and that Id always suffered dreadfully with Depression, It was an unemotional explanatory email that just really was saying 'Im tired hiding it, I just need you to understand' -
These are educated people. I didnt receive the dignity of a Reply. I told a friend who Id known for a good few years about my being on Antidepressants and suffering, She hadnt known but was horrified and shocked and slowly she went away. As if it was contagious. Fear? Not wanting to be 'linked' to Madness in any way? In the Irish Language, the word translated for Mad into English means 'those who are with in Heaven' the meaning being, that they are sensitive souls, suffering, who'd rather not be here. Thats how many years ago, so abit more insight and certainly alot more humane than 'Crazy' Nutcase, looper etc., The figure here, I think is 1 in 6 and rising suffer from Depression, now thats not counting Autism/aspbergers, Chronic mental disability . If one in six suffers, then surely every family has at least 1 extended member a c ousin an uncle who is 'odd' abit funny, suffers with nerves. You'd imagine that there would be more understanding. I hate to bring up the horrible subject of rape, male or female, and physical attack but if you have a psychiatric background as in youre on antidepressants, that will be used against you and you havent a hope in hell of getting justice [just phone any Rape Crisis Centre] ditto if youve been abused at work. The ignorance goes on, Im going on too long but its something ive tried to do - to come out, to say, Look Im Rose, I look 'Normal' wear make-up, dont look zonked out with tablets, speak and walk well, even sometimes laugh and sing and joke, but I suffer dreadfully and disablingly with Depression and Anxiety . To date, the response has been negative, disbelieving and emabarrasment. Sorry to be so Negative. It makes me so sad to see people live quiet lonely lives of desparation and despair reinforced by a society that views them as 'weird outcasts' in the majority of cases.