Weight Gain and Depression

As the winter months slowly darken the days our hibernation instinct begins to kick in and our thoughts turn to either sleep or food.  That is the way it is for me anyway.  And then you have the various holidays to contend with.  Halloween candy is still in your cupboard, Thanksgiving is coming and of course that is all about food and I don't even want to mention the other food focused holidays in December.  And by the New Year we are all as round as Santa Claus but not necessarily jolly about it.

So who here has some issues with their weight?  Raise your hand.  I would place a bet that the majority of us on this site have battled some sort of problem with our weight either currently or in the past.  I am right there with you raising my hand too.  I have dealt with problems managing my weight for decades now.  And I am here to tell you something you already know.  Depression doesn't help matters.

My metabolism seemed to change right after having my two boys.  In high school I was skinny.  You could see my hip bones.  Looking for them now, nope they are gone.  At the height of my weight gain I was about 170 pounds and I am five foot two.  I barely recognized myself.  My boys were babies back then and I did manage to lose some of this weight through exercise and just very active parenting.  Carrying babies and chasing toddlers can help you to lose those pounds!

But then an emotional bomb hit when my youngest son was diagnosed with autism when he was three years old.  It was then that I began a slow but steady course in self neglect.  My life centered on my kids and nothing else seemed to matter.  I was depressed but didn't realize it.  I remember doing a home video to highlight my son's progress with the particular therapy we were using called Floor Time.  As the name implies, you get on the floor and play with your child in way to elicit engagement and communication.  When I played back the tape I saw "it" meaning my behind.  There I was on the floor   and my big ‘ol butt basically took up the whole screen.  I had stopped looking into a mirror so I had no idea I had gotten so large.  It was then that I decided to do something.

It was pretty much a yearlong transformation where I was exercising at least five days a week.  I was using old videos called "Abs of Steel" complete with 80's attired people with head bands and leotards telling you how good you will look both coming and going!  I joined a gym for the first time.  And I became conscious of my eating habits.  I never used to count all the food I "stole" from my kid's plates or the sneaking of McDonald's French fries from my kid's happy meals.  Let me tell you that it all counts.  The vast quantities of bread, sugar laden stuff, donuts, all were replaced with fruits and veggies and foods which give you energy instead of depleting you.  I had one bag of hershey's kisses in the fridge for emergencies for a little taste of something sweet.