My Depression Connection Question of the Week!

I'm with you MerelyMe, I always have low self esteem and depression never letting up and don't know how to feel any different. I am scheduling a consult for having ECT. I don't see anyway out of my depression. Medications I seem to be resistant to.

I think that in my case it was low self esteem that came first at a time when I was very young and vulnerable. I learned to hide it so well that it seemed nothing was wrong with me.

When I feel useful and am able to make other people happy, that is when I feel less of the actual depression. To me higher self esteem helps with the depression. 

I have had low self esteem for as long as I can remember.  I'm not sure exactly what caused it, but the older I get, the worse it has gotten.  To make me feel better, I tend to do something good for myself.  It could be as simple as putting on some makeup to go to work.  I work in a factory, so appearance isn't stressed.  I will talk to my fiance as well, he usually makes me feel better.  He's really good at telling me I'm beautiful :) I also do some cleaning around the house if I can get myself going on it.  I find that once I get a little cleaning done, I generally feel better.  I also try to put things in perspective, whether in writing or in my head.  No matter how bad things seem, I'm not that bad off.  I don't have an unlimited supply of money, but I do have people around me that care and thing I'm a great person. 

Hi Merely Me,

I cheated some and asked my husband the question.  It made for good conversation!

So...my take is it can be both.  I don't think they are really an either/or.  Here's an example- a woman who has very good self esteem may lose her husband through death, and become very depressed.  In that case, the depression is tied to an event. On the other hand, there are many of us (such as me) who suffer depression as a result of low self esteem.

I really struggle with the low self-esteem problem and depression which for me are hereditery, situational and physical (multiple sclerosis).  I hid it so well, even I didn't know my own feelings until they kind of "blew up in my face"  with a nervous breakdown in 1975.  How do I try to help my depression?  Well, I admit it is difficult.  My husband is a great source of consolation - I can even cry in front of him, tell him my lousy feelings and what I get in return is just more love and support.  Oddly, reading cookbooks makes me feel better because I veer away from the depression and start cooking in my mind.  It is really hard to get myself going on so many things when I am depressed because all I want to do is hide or sleep, and I won't allow myself to do either.  Oh, and I like to read on the computer.  It allows me to be with myself, yet doing something with my mind.  It's also great for procastinating.  Well, those are a few of my coping mechanisms.

By the way, back to the comments about ECT and vegas nerve stimulator.  I met a woman recently who is partaking in a clinical trial using brain stimulation to relieve depression to those who are resistent to depression meds.  They insert a wire down into your brain and then send off low pulses of electricity to stimulate neurons to control depression.  I was flabergasted and fascinated.  There is a group of people in the trial, and ironically my husband's psychiatrist is one of the key researchers and trial moderators.  Well, I brought this up because new approaches to managing depression really are on the horizon!

Gina

I think it can go both ways, but low self esteem seems like a breeding ground for depression.  When depression's got me, I hate myself to a really extreme degree, it takes very little to send me there.  It's easier to be kinder to myself when I'm not feeling depressed.  I still really haven't figured out how much of this is chemistry and how much is, more or less, PTSD.  The Zoloft made me not give a rip, which is not how I want to live, so I'm off that.  I'm tired of "managing" it, but I suppose anyone with a chronic illness feels the same way.

Hope everyone has a good week-end.

I think you are right - it is exactly like the chicken and egg debate. Technically the egg of the chicken that we know today came first, laid by a chicken-like creature that the chicken evolved from. In the same way low self-esteem helps depression be born - we probably had a level of low self-esteem pre-depression and then when we got depressed the low self-esteem became a different creature as part of that depression... if that makes sense... I'm probably just confusing everyone.

They are tangled up. Generally if you are made to feel a bit better about yourself self-esteem wise you'll probably feel your depression ease up a little. Also if you're not feeling too depressed on a certain day you'll probably feel better about the way you imagine others are looking at you (self-esteem). And if you are badly depressed you probably think everyone is looking at you and judging you harshly. Also if someone does or says something that shatters your self-esteem your depression is going to get worse. So they are linked and tied together.

That's a hard question to anwser. I don't think I had suffered from low self-esteem before but now that I think about it, when you are depressed you don't feel good about yourself so that is low self esteem.  I have always dealt with a little depression before with my diabetes.  But now, its hardier thatn ever just to wanna get outta bed anymore.

Great question Merelyme.  I like hearing all the posts.

I think low self esteem leads to anxiety, then depression, or just skips anxiety when it wants, and drops down into depression. I suppose it could work the other way.

I find that a situation where the simplest comment or action magnifies a hundred fold and reflects in a very negative way, like a mirror, like you just lost a most precious thing, leading to an internal declaration of despair, and the thought process degenerates into a simple message of, What's the Use?

Over nothing at all.

 Hi Merely, on your question..... I think the self esteem thing probably starts in childhood  but then it becomes a vicious cycle.  If you don't feel loved as achild how can you ever feel good about youself?  But nowadays I just suffer w/ both. I feel embarresed that I'm always depressed, no matter how hard I try not to be, no matter what Rx's I take etc. Those old negative tapes continue to play in your head and it definately affects you  r self esteem.  Sioux.

     I'm not sure if low self esteem or depression was first for me.  I struggle with both of them on a daily basis and each makes the other one worse!  It's a evil cycle that goes on and on.