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MyDepressionConnection.com

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Thursday, July, 24, 2008

Hiding behind my shadow

by  Mary
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Mary
Mary
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married for 34 years, 2 kids, and 2 granddaughters, have 2 dogs ...

Mary

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Hiding behind my shadow is a poem I wrote on my blog.

 

Hiding Behind My shadow

 

I slip behind my shadow
To hide, to melt away,
No-one else can see me
Who cares its just that way.

I often feel the loneliness
That I carry around inside
The feelings are so vivid
I try so hard to hide.

My mind is filled with images
I try to see the good,
But I'm hiding behind my shadow
Because I am often mis-understood.



This is how I feel. I try to think of the positive, but depression often takes over. You go to work and try to hide the sadness you feel. You smile, and laugh, but you are just hiding how you really feel. Depression takes over.

 

Its not easy to come out behind your shadow., often people stay there because they know the stigma depression brings, I said it all in my blog.  So I wont repeat it here.  I hate feeling this way, I hate the demon taking over in me.  Trying to push me to the limit, the limit of no return.  I have been in therapy for over  7 years now, and have been in hospital 2x for overdosing on tylenol.  Its a wonder that I didnt fry my organs, but I guess God had other plans for me.  But of late, I have been doing it again, not to the extreme that I did it before, but I have started using tylenol again.  Im afraid to tell my therapist and husband because I don't want to disappoint them, I promised my husband I would not do it again, plus, I don't want to go back into the hospital.  So, I still manage to get up in the morning and go to work and hide behind my shadow...Nippercat

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