Who I am......

Hello. I've had depression before and I dont really think it's ever gone away. In eighth grade,I was diagnosed with it and was put in a hostpital for "youth". I was put on Zoloft and was cut off from the rest of the world. I think that was the biggest mistake my parents had ever made. I mean I can understand why( because they didn't know what else to do) but I still that was a really huge mistake. I don't think putting me somewhere, where I'm cut off from the rest of the world. I dont think that thta's the best way to treat it. I had a theraspist who didn't care. She just wanted to put me on medication and tell that that would make me better. Then she told my parents that I would kill myslef if she sent me home. She not only made my loopy, but she lied. She damaged a relationship that could never be the same. I still get sad sometimes, where Idon't want to get up and do anything, or even be around my friends. It still hurts when my parents throw my hospitalization back in my face. They were even going to make me pay for the treatment. Our insurance covered most of it but they wanted me to pay. I just kind of let it go. Anyways, my day has been horrible. My mom called me at work yesterday and griped me out becasue I didnt come home after school to clean the house. I forgot to tell her I had band practice and that I couldn't come home. Her words were "this **** will be waiting for you when you get home". I dont mind cleaning t all but when she says stuff like that, it hurts. So I get home at 930 ish and the house was even worse then when I left that morning. So i stay up until at least eleven and then I had to take a shower and do my homework, I wake up this morning to my neighbor banging on the door. I go answer it and he said that one of my little brothers friends hung himself. Come to findout it was a different kid but he still lived down my road and I knew his family. I drove past their house this morning on the way to school and his family was just standing out there crying. I couldnt help but to cry for them. I prayed and aasked God to keep his family safe and comfort them. I feel so bad. My friends told me I shoudl go home but I can't becasue nobody will let me leave. But I really want to see if my brother is ok,