I have been writing about my feelings of depression and through a bout of trouble breathing and relapse of my rheumatoid arthritis, I found out that my thyroid isn't working well and my blood work showed that my blood sugar was also very elevated. I have had my rheumatoid arthritis for a year now and was non compliant with my meds because in a way I guess I didn't realize or want to realize just how serious this disease is and what it can do to my body...not only joints and muscles but heart, lungs and other vital organs. The chest pain and breathing problems are due to an inflammation in the lining of my lungs (from the RA). Now I have high blood sugar and my doctor had to put me on a tapering dose of prednisone which also rasies blood sugars, so I have to check my blood sugar twice daily and call if it goes 0ver 250. Last night at 12 am was
200.
Long story short...I have been hit with some very serious information regarding my health and the doctor told me that I could have seizures or even die. Now, I am turning 40 in June and this is really freaking me out. my daughter (oldest of two) is two years from graduating HS and very much looking forward to College. I am, in my mind, thinking about the fact that I potentially only have 30 years left. I know, pretty ironic for someone who gets so depressed that death looks good??? How do you explain this stupid thinking....it makes no sense. I hope I have made sense.
