Feelings about getting old.

H8ingmylifesometimes Community Member January 10, 2008
  • I have been writing about my feelings of depression and through a bout of trouble breathing and relapse of my rheumatoid arthritis, I found out that my thyroid isn't working well and my blood work showed that my blood sugar was also very elevated. I have had my rheumatoid arthritis for a year now and was non compliant with my meds because in a way I guess I didn't realize or want to realize just how serious this disease is and what it can do to my body...not only joints and muscles but heart, lungs and other vital organs. The chest pain and breathing problems are due to an inflammation in the lining of my lungs (from the RA). Now I have high blood sugar and my doctor had to put me on a tapering dose of prednisone which also rasies blood sugars, so I have to check my blood sugar twice daily and call if it goes 0ver 250. Last night at 12 am was

    200.

    Long story short...I have been hit  with some very serious information regarding my health and the doctor told me that I could have seizures or even die. Now, I am turning 40 in June and this is really freaking me out. my daughter (oldest of two) is two years from graduating HS and very much looking forward to College. I am, in my mind, thinking about the fact that I potentially only have 30 years left. I know, pretty ironic for someone who gets so depressed that death looks good???  How do you explain this stupid thinking....it makes no sense.  I hope I have made sense.

4 Comments
  • Anonymous
    Tom T
    Mar. 17, 2008

    I had the same feeling when I was in my mid 40's and now that I'm 65, I'm still having them.. Well guess it may just be something some of us men go through. The way I look at it I will still have the Dooms Day thoughts when I'm 75... LOL. Just stick in there buddy and remember the only thing you will leave behind of real valve are your chlidren...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I had the same feeling when I was in my mid 40's and now that I'm 65, I'm still having them.. Well guess it may just be something some of us men go through. The way I look at it I will still have the Dooms Day thoughts when I'm 75... LOL. Just stick in there buddy and remember the only thing you will leave behind of real valve are your chlidren and they need you NOW and will need you as they get older..

    BE THERE FOR THEM.. Your 2nd. there 1st.. Just remember that..

    Tom T. 

  • Rusty
    Jan. 12, 2008

    Negative thinking is not good for you mind or your body. You need to try to turn those negative thoughts around.  It's hard not to get depressed about health problems the only thing you can do if try to be as healthy as you can and try to thing "well" thought. There is a website called MoodGym  which has free cognitive therapy to turn...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    Negative thinking is not good for you mind or your body. You need to try to turn those negative thoughts around.  It's hard not to get depressed about health problems the only thing you can do if try to be as healthy as you can and try to thing "well" thought. There is a website called MoodGym  which has free cognitive therapy to turn that thinking around. I am almost 50 years old and some days I feel it. My Dad had a massive heart attack in his 40's.....triple bypass and now he is about to turn 80. He has had another 40 years of good living. Look after yourself.  Best wishes R

  • Anonymous
    elena
    Jan. 10, 2008
    oops make that from Elena....
  • Anonymous
    e;ema
    Jan. 10, 2008
    Hey try turning fifty!! Seriously, none of us really know how much time we have - anyone could drop dead at any second. (Isn't it weird vacillating between wanting to die and wanting to live?) I know what it's like to want to be there for your kids; I also have health problems plus my depression. It's hard. One day at a time - and if necessary...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    Hey try turning fifty!! Seriously, none of us really know how much time we have - anyone could drop dead at any second. (Isn't it weird vacillating between wanting to die and wanting to live?) I know what it's like to want to be there for your kids; I also have health problems plus my depression. It's hard. One day at a time - and if necessary one minute at a time - or one second! Good luck to you.