Not with depression

You know i feel a little different coming in here than i do about going to NA chat room. In here i feel like i am complaining all the time.  I went to my first NA meeting today. It was scary. I will keep going back though. Cant judge something on a first time basis. There is another meeting tonight but don't think i will go to that...not tonight. That is a bit much and group is much bigger...it took everything i had just to stay in room. I did talk but arent sure what the speaking rules are yet. What you can and cant talk about. I am so angry, not at anything in particular, but just angry. Have a list of things that i could say but i have choices for all of them. So there is no use complaining about them. One thing i did recognize today is that I was an addict before i became an addict.  When I was 12 i had eartube surgery. They gave me vicoadin and i loved the way it shut out my world. I almost called the dentist today who doesn't know about my problem (drug adddiction) so i could have easily gotten some vicodin to feel the same way again. Dont have a sponser yet, don't even know how to get one. A couple people gave me their number, but i don't know if i want to spill stuff over to phone with people i dont know. Well for some reason very tired, maybe it is the only 10 hours sleep in last three days might be it.

I  am looking forward to hearing from you.