Hi everyone. This is Andrea again. I am not sure what to put today, but i feel like i need to talk. With my issues it is such a struggle not to want to just crawl in my bed and hide. AS I have said before, I have been diagnosed with Bipolar II / Mania, severe depression, Panic Disorder, and PTSD. Now we have found that the medication (lamictal) that i am taking is causing additional problems along with these others. Causing hallucinations and voices, and I feel like i am going crazy. I just want the confusion, anxiety, and depression to STOP. I want to be able to function on a normal level....yeah i know what is that...I am talking about getting back to how i was before i used....I was strong, knew what i wanted, took care of myself and others, and was always the first to step up to help take care of something for my family members. I am just lost in an abyss of nothingness and very raw feelings. I know that I have to give it up to god, it is imperative. Any way, my concentration level is next to nothing. I can't sit still for no more than 5 minutes or so, and can't seem to keep my mind in one spot as well. So i am going to close for now. Maybe i will post something when i am having a good day...but haven't had one of those yet. Thanks every one.
does the craziness ever stop
I agree with Paul.
I know that it is hard right now, and even though we share the symptoms of depression I cannot grasp what you are personally going through. However, what I can say is don't give up the fight. Keep believing in God, and keep pressing forward. Some days will be better than others. Yet, even on those difficult days keep moving forward. I have stumbled many times. Also there have been times that I stayed on the floor; however, I don't remain long. I suggest having a small goal something attainable. For instance, I started with just getting out of bed. It is not much--but at least it is a start. As always vent here with us. We may not have the answers you seek--but we are more than willing to aid you. Hope this helps.
Mr. Q
I can't thank you all for the words of encouragement. I hope you know how wonderful it is to be able to vent and not be judged or yelled at for it. All of you are wonderful. Again thank you. I will keep these things in mind and know that i can come to you if i need to let loose anything regarding my depression. 
Sincerely Andrea
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You just remember this is not your fault, not your wish to be where you are. Wipe the guilt away; there should be none.
You know where you were, it was a place you did not choose to leave, it is where you want to return. All we can do is listen to you, encourage you, give you any ideas we have, as you can give us, and hope your doctors can bring you back to what was. Just don't give up, there is no place worse to be. Even five minutes of sitting with friends and family is better than having none.
Just give them what you can, keep trying, they need that as much as you.