Why won't this go away?

By shygirle Sunday, July 18, 2010

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My husband tells me that he doesn't know why I'm depressed. He says I have everything! Why then don't I feel that way?

What does a depressed person want? I asked a shrink that once and she said that every depressed person wants a different thing. Is that true? I feel that a depressed person feels lonely, sad and abandoned even if other people tell the depressed individual that that's not true. They want someone significant to put their arms around them and tell them that it's will be ok and to LISTEN to what their FEELINGS are. Someone to care and not say, "don't be depressed, you have everything!

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Donna-1

7/18/10 8:46pm

For me, being listened to was a big part of my recovery. But I had to go to a private therapist for several years before I began to feel better. And medication definitely helped. But deciding to be in charge of my own life was what I really needed. I had always put everyone else first -- their needs and their wants. There is a time and place for that, but not ALL the time, in all situations. I had to learn how to say, "No." And stick to it.

Best wishes,

Donna

Judy

7/18/10 11:28pm

Hello, Shygirle. Your husband's attitude is very common for someone who hasn't experienced depression. But don't let that make you feel guilty, just do whatever you need to do to get better.

I don't know that depressed people necessarily WANT anything as much as we are usually suppressing grief, anger or hurt. For whatever reason, it's not safe to express those negative feelings (we think), so kind of deaden ourselves so that we don't feel their pain. But depression ends up bringing its own kind of pain. It can often times be some chemical imbalance in the brain, which medication may be able to correct.

I hope you'll find more understanding from your family and that you will feel free to write here again any time.

u2me

7/21/10 10:47am

I really relate to your comments and second that everyone longs for a connection to other people, a sense of community and validation that they are special, accepted and cared about. All the money and status in the world can not fill this longing. I find that just talking with someone I trust and sharing my heart and vice versa is the most beutilful thing in this world.

moonflowers

7/21/10 8:23pm

No one will understand unless they've been through it themselves. And it doens't matter how much or little you have, if your depressed....your just depressed. You can also know that you have people around you that love you, but still feel lonely. I gave up on trying to get anyone close to me to understand. They are aware of it, but thats about it.

Why won't this go away?

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