Americantail

Health Interests

Depression,  Anxiety

Drugs I am Taking

Zoloft,  Xanax XR

About Me

Where do I begin?

In my mind's eye depression is sadness,hurting, feelings,dispair,etc.

About 4 years ago my husband of over 38 years passed away unexpectedly.  He was only 56.

I thought that things would get somewhat better.  After all I was not the only woman in the world to suffer the the life altering experiences of losing their spouse.  I went back to what I thought would be a life, though changed and still be able to function.  I developed mono which was severe enough to keep me down for nearly a year.  After that it has been down hill ever since.

During the time in which I thought I had gotten better I started getting these weird feelings!!  Shaking, not sleeping,sleeping to much,not being able to eat, raging fear,racing heart, sweats,fearing that I was dying, etc. 

My GP tried and did take me seriously enough to test me for anything and everything.  Cardio, thryoid,auto imune,female issues,you name it.

Referral to neurologist and on and on~~~in the end results were "there is nothing wrong with you"

I then try the grief counceling route.  I was to anxious so no help there. Next came the therapy~~put on antidepressants (cymbalta and Klonopin) still no releif and still living this hell.  Tried guy who prescribes and gives drugs, prayed, talked and talked and talked to whoever would listen!!!

In the meantime I am still no further ahead than I was when I started!! I am now on Zoloft and Xanax which I finally am compliant with.  The others sem to amplify my condition!! The shakes,weakness, fear, not sleeping are a still with me and I do not see any end to this.  I have developed allergies,have tubes put in my ears,endos, colonoscopy, etc. It is a never ending story!!!

SO THIS IS DEPRESSION

I still wonder is I am still going to make it.  I am not one to commit hariy kairy because I am so scared to die.

Does it ever get better???????????????????????????