Explaining self-harm (some Christian content - but mainly general)

 "What happened to make me feel that way?" Perhaps I overheard someone making a comment about me. Perhaps I have just ‘pigged out' on a packet of Jaffa cakes. Perhaps a friend passed me in the street and didn't speak?
 "What did that event make me think? What do I believe about it? "Nobody likes me." "I'll always be single." "That's awful - I can't cope." "I'm a disgusting, fat pig." "I've self-harmed again - I'll never succeed. I'm a failure."
 "Are there any other interpretations?" Perhaps my friend didn't see me. Perhaps her mind was miles away. Perhaps she was in a tearing rush. I slipped up once, but succeeding is a process - there will be ups and downs, but the trend will be upwards.
 "What needs is my self-harm meeting?" Is it relieving unbearable tension? Is it keeping me from doing something more drastic? Is it grounding me back into reality when I feel spaced out?
 "Are there any other ways I can meet those needs?" A walk outside, appreciating nature? Playing with my pets? (In my case rats!) A soak in a scented bath? Exercise? To bring me back to the present, a taste of lemon juice? Holding a lump of ice? Spending time with God and in Christian fellowship?
 "What benefits will I get from giving up? My scars will lessen. I don't need to worry about infection. I don't need to be so secretive. I won't feel a freak.
 "What skills to I need in order to give up self-harm? Do I already have any of them? If I haven't, how, when and where can I obtain them?
 "What am I aiming for - my Vision?" "What are my goals = long-term, medium-term and short-term?" Goals should be SMART - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Rewarding and Time-based. They should also be expressed as a positive - e.g. I will weigh 10st by 1st January. "I will lose weight" is not specific enough, and is expressed as a negative.
 "How can I measure how I am doing? If we are trying to follow a CBT-based programme, the homework entails a lot of recording. We can record how long since we last harmed ourselves - perhaps two days, but it will grow with time, and as it does, ‘Not wanting to give up" becomes another reason to stay free.
 "How can I reward myself for success? The scented bath again? New clothes? Something special to eat (if our problem isn't food-related)? A pot plant? A visit to the cinema?
 "How do I cope if I slip up?" There will be slips - that's the normal course of events. We think we've ‘licked it' or we had a tremendous spiritual experience - we will never self-harm again! Then, crash - something happens to stress and upset us, and without wanting to we have done just what we said we would not. We've failed. We're failures. But recovery from self-harm is like a baby learning to walk. They will fall, but we dust them down, stand them up and let them walk again. Right - we may have failed. We are only failures if we fail to try again and give up. As Christians, too, we have the assurance in God's word that "If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins." We're forgiven. God looks at us and sees, not our sinful failure, but Christ's perfection.