My girfriends depression

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Tuesday, September 01, 2009
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Hi, my name is Gary, and for a year and a half, I have been going out with, my girlfriend, who is depressed, she had one of her brothers a couple of years back, commit suicide. So, while in our relationship, she only told me she was taking antidepressants(sertaline), about 8 months later, and w...

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Paul
Tuesday, September 01, 2009 at 01:50 PM

My opinion, Gary, and it's just that, is you should concentrate on getting your life together and only that. You really sound like a good therapist could help you organize your life to be without her, if it comes to that. You can stay where you're at forever, or sink deeper into the morass and it sounds like the relationship can only get more complicated, if that is possible.

If she is depressed, and I can see why she would be, she will have to seek out help if she wants to. You can just let her know you are there if she needs you and let her work this out.

Why not improve your position, find and do things you want to do, which you may have put off, and let her try to unravel her problems and improve on her own? Maybe in a year, see where you're both at and if there is a future. The separation will give you both a more clinical eye on whether you want to be with each other.

Again, if you can afford and find a therapist you like, it will help clarify all of this from an objective and impartial eye.

Hopefully, you'll get better advice from some others. You've both invested a lot of time in this. I hope the situation improves for you both.

Thank you
docvd
Wednesday, September 02, 2009 at 07:43 AM

Hello Paul, just wanted too say, thank you very much, for responding, this is a very good site, and yes I do understand, that I have to concentrate, on my life, and get my things organize, thats what I am doing, but also hoping that she will truly help herself, and that, someone might just step into her path, and guide her. So, in the mean time, for sure it is normal that I think of her, but don t communicate with her, and asking myself, why do I love her so much, after all of these problems, that I went through with her, in the past year and a half, she preached so much about love, and being faithful, and respectful, and this is what I am showing her, that I love her. Anyway, thanks again

Girlfriend
Judy
Tuesday, September 01, 2009 at 05:08 PM

Hi, Gary, I think I responded to a similar post you made a little while ago, but I agree with Paul about figuring out what you want to do for yourself, don't put your life on hold while you wait to see what your girlfriend is going to do. It sounds all very complicated to me, but she has to make some effort herself to get herself straightened out, you can't fix her. It sounds like you do care about her, but a person can only be expected to tolerate so much. Good luck with this, hope you can get some resolution soon.