The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.  I don't think I'll talk about the ugly part because I don't want to "out" the guilty party.

The Bad: I took Mom to the cardiologist today.  She was diagnosed with "atrial fibrillation" and he explained everything very clearly to us.  He gave her some options (like taking a blood thinner) that would hopefully lessen the chance of stroke.  There were other riskier options that don't seem to be necessary right now.  She has been exhausted all day lately, from the time she rises till she goes to bed.  And the doc said this heart problem is probably why.  It does make me a little uneasy about her living 8 miles away.  Like how fast could I get there if she needed me.  Maybe we need to make a plan, like #1 call 911, #2 unlock the front door, #3 call me or one of my siblings.  Nothing complex.  She got very confused at the doctors because there was too much info.  But I wrote it all down for her when we got back to her house.

This may have something to do with my depression, dreading when she will no longer be here some day.  I know it doesn't do any good to think about these things because I don't think you can really prepare yourself for it.  She is always so encouraging and supportive.  I go to her house almost every day for at least a short visit.  She thinks she is going to start teaching sewing classes again week after next.  We'll see.  She has surprised me before.  I'm not going to give my opinion on what heart option to take, and whether she should teach again, unless she asks me.  It's her decision.

The Good: I got my TV back on Sunday and got cable installed yesterday afternoon!  It is so wonderful to have TV again, after not having one for 3 months.  I think one reason I had started getting depressed again was feeling like I was on constant call to help Mother and the hot weather.  I have been closing all the blinds to keep the 100+ degree heat out. 23 straight days of it so far.  So I was hunkered down in this dark apartment with no TV and only books and a computer to keep me occupied.

Yes, there are much better things to do than fill my hours with TV and "instant watch" on Netflix.  But it does help a lot.  My one good friend is usually only home on the weekends because she raises cattle and tends to them during the week.  She told me she would call today and give me her ranch-phone number, but I didn't hear from her.

Also have been having stomach upsets.  But Monday my doc told me to try pro-biotics for 6 weeks and then come back to her office.  That's easy enough to do.  And of course, there is never enough money.  But I tend to spend whatever I have rather quickly.  I blame that on my dad.

Today I was excited about the TV so I didn't feel depressed.  And I see my psychiatrist tomorrow.  I expect he will keep the meds the same unless I insist on change.  The current meds are a good balance and maybe should be left unchanged.  There will always be ups and downs.