Welcome, To the Machine!  I am caught up in the machinations of family life and all that goes on between siblings when there is an aging parent.  I keep trying to make things better, and it only seems to make them worse.  I don't know if I am paying my mother enough attention, or too much.  I want to take care of her every need, yet I'm not always up to it.  I'm easily stressed out and need a lot of peace and quite on the outside to stay calm inside.  My siblings have their own lives and if they help Mother, it has to be on their time schedule, their way, etc.  But I try to adapt to Mother's physical maladies -- those that slow her down, those that mute her senses -- and make her as comfortable and loved as possible.  I do not doubt that my brother and sister love her any less than I do, they just have work and family matters of their own, which I guess I understand.

I wrote them a letter Friday listing all the things I do for Mom and asked if they would be willing to help her, at least monetarily.  Just a little even.  So she can have lunch with her friends or go to the mall.  And I didn't get a good feel of whether they were willing to or not, from their replies.  I realize, too, that Mom can't always have everything her way and she will have to adjust to changes, too, if we are going to help.  There must be some give and take on both sides.

But as I have continued to receive their emails in response, it stresses me out more and more.  I sincerely wish I had never said anything.  I don't even want to meet with them to talk about it...too stressful.  Am I too caught up in the whole thing, trying to be a mediator and coordinator and caregiver?  I guess we are just all resistent to change -- me, my siblings, and Mom.  And I've heard the phrase that "it's easier to go along than to get along."  Maybe it is time to move to Arizona two states away.