My boy friend has depression. And it hurts me that i'm too far away to be there for him, what's worse is that he wanted me to split with him, he did but i didn't. I'm giving him space, and we haven't been talking for 2 weeks now..It's insane. After months of having the best relationship I can't believe this is happening. So much plans destroyed. Our valentine plans destroyed too.
I believe I met my soul mate, and because of this depression he became so cold. I don't wanna let go though, I believe he'll get cured. Hopefully, he'll be back to that amazing person that he use to be. The last time I called him though was valentine's day, he sounded ok, but still not the man that i fell inlove with. I was relieved that he didn't say something bad to push me away though. I'm just worried about his medication i think its taking so long to work.....
Its so nice to know that I am not alone and there are people who want to listen.
Hello, Precious. I'm sorry that your boyfriend's depression has him pushing you away, but that's pretty common. I don't know how long he's been on medication, but it can take up to 4 - 6 weeks to feel the effects, and that's if it's going to work. It's sometimes trial and error with what medications are effective for each person. The fact that he's taking them is a good sign that he's trying to help himself.
If you want to try to save the relationship, try to give him his space, just check in with him once in a while. Time will tell if this is going to pass. What happens is that the depressed person often has a lot of anger and self-hatred and will sometimes shut people out because they don't feel worthy of having love, so they think they're doing you a favor by pushing you out. Just be sure you take care of yourself, don't stop living your life while waiting for things to get better and don't ever tolerate mistreatment.
Write in again any time, we are here to listen. I wish you the best.
Hi Judy
Thanks for replying to my post, its really good to know that there are people who can understand what people like me feel. Its a great relief to talk to people about this, as I haven't told my family about this because they be devastated if I told them and they wouldn't understand this situation too. Yes I have been giving me space by not contacting him at all, no text messages, no emails, no IM's no phone calls, I just send him a letter saying how much I miss him and hoping that he'll get well soon and that I have no plans of leaving him. I told him to take good care of himself for me and not be worried that I am waiting for him, I told him not to get pressured to get well fast that its ok to take things slow. He has been taking this medication for like 5 weeks now. That is if he didn't stop which I hope he did not stop.
I'm afraid of calling him because I'm trying not to be a bug to him like annoy him or something. I'm trying to hard not to overwhelm him. I have been reading alot about depression so far I'm beginning to understand my boyfriend more and more.
Yes I haven't stopped living my life, because I really can't let my family see what's going on with me nowadays. So I pretend to be ok. I'm abit ok now, not as devastated like the first to weeks but still I will never be that ok until I know that my boyfriend is well already. He did force me to split with him and yet he didn't erase me on his yahoo friends list. (So I really think he doesn't really want me out of his life for good
. Thanks for taking time to give me the wonderful advices, it really helped me feel alot better.