every bit of love and compassion has left my heart. i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and some months and over the last 2-3 months i have lost every emotion. it feels like my heart is empty and i can barely feel it beating in my chest. when i found out my gandmother was in the hospital i felt nothing but guilt and sadness for not feeling anything. my boyfriend means the world to me, but i cant feel anything in my heart for him. he has stuck with me for the last 8 months that i have been dealing with depression, and he is trying to be understanding. he can tell that i cant feel anything anymore and i knoe that i am hurting him. but he tells me he will stick it out as long as he can. i dont want to lost him because i know somewhere inside me im the person he feel in love with. im scared that i will never be able to feel again and that i will lost him and be alone forever. when i am alone i have alot of anxity and feel totally lost but when i am with him i can kind of feel like my self again. it's not just him thou it is every aspect of my life school, my family, friends i just dont feel any thing. even my rabbit and dog can tell. i just want my live and my love back.
p.s i dont want to hurt myself i know that nothing good can come of that and that it will only hurt the people that love me even if i can always love them back.
Hi, there. I'm just wondering if you're getting any kind of help for your depression or if you are on any medications for it. Some medications can cause a numbing feeling and, on the other hand, depression can often make us feel numb, as well. Are you getting any therapy? Often times, just taking medication doesn't do the trick and you need to do some inner work to break through that numbness. Most of us who write here have had a lot of experience with depression, therapy and medication and everyone's experience is different.
Even if you do lose your boyfriend, it is not true that no one will ever love you again. It might FEEL that way, but it's not the truth. If you're getting professional help and it's not working, maybe you need to find somebody different to work with.
I wish you all the best and hope you will let us know how you're doing.
thank you for your reply.. but no i am not on any meds nor am i getting any counsling, i have know something was wrong/ different about me for about a year and knew i needed to get help but my parents thought i would get past it but i never did and i just got worse and worse. i dont know who to call to get information and i am slightly inbarressed to be in this condition, because i have always been the problem slover. but i am going to call my insurance company and try to set up an appointment
That's an excellent idea - your insurance company can give you the names of providers they will cover in your area. Just make that call - you have nothing to lose except misery. I wish you all the best, let us know how you're doing.