‘Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me' - I learnt over time to hate & doubt myself & that inner voice tore me apart, making me insane with grief, anger & pain.
Repeat of bridge and chorus.
‘I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone' - I tried to put the past behind me but I'm nothing without her, the little girl inside me, the real me, the me without depression.
‘But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along' - she's inside somewhere, only occasionally popping out for a visit, leaving me to fight all alone in a world I hate for dreams that are hers not mine cause my dream is simply to die/to end all the pain & grief.
Repeat chorus.
See how it fits so horrifically well? Does anyone else see themselves in songs that are supposed to be about lost love? Maybe that's a silly question - most people have experienced love and thus perhaps have lost it too - I haven't (I wouldn't know love if it came and bit me on the butt) but the pain and grief from what I lost in me seems to fit the lyrics...
Sometimes when I am at my most depressed state...this is when I rediscover music.
Nine Inch Nail's "Hurt" is a song which resonates with me. You don't have to be a herion addict to see yourself in those words. The Johnny Cash version is absolutely heart breaking.
Ingrid Michaelson's song...Keep Breathing is a good one for a cathartic cry. Someone on youtube created visuals to go with this song...it will tear you up.
Here are the lyrics which pretty much sums up a good depression:
"The storm is coming but i don't mind.
People are dying, I close my blinds.
All that i know is I'm breathing now.
I want to change the world...instead i sleep.
I want to believe in more than you and me.
But all that i know is i'm breathing.
All i can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.
All that i know is i'm breathing.
All i can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now."
I also relate to: Sick Cycle Carousel by Lifehouse and Crawling by Linkin Park, amongst others. Both of these take into account the repetitiveness of things and how I struggle with keeping sane (or feeling like I'm near to keeping sane). It's amazing how many songs there are out there that can be related to depression, even if they were meant to be about drugs or lost love.