Hi everyone, thank you for all your kind comments on my last post. Just to let you all know that I'm not feeling so bad anymore. I think the sex actually helped me with confidence - you see I've been held back in so many avenues for so long cause of the shit that has happened in my life. I was always scared of people entering my personal space but now I know it's no big deal. Sex wasn't great for me, in fact I disconnected and felt next to nothing, but it has opened those doors I sealed for so long. It's funny to me but all of a sudden I don't mind being around others and it doesn't drain me like it used to. It's like I've suddenly realised there is nothing to be afraid of.

As for the issues with Mum... well in it's own way that has helped too. I kept hiding away in my room, feeling safe, now I keep wanting to leave the house to get away from my family. That means I'm going out more. I'm more sociable. Where I used to feel worse I now feel better. I think in the long run all of this may help. I'm hoping so anyway.

So basically I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone for your kind words and support. I think things might just be looking up for me but I don't want to jinx it so let's just say I'm being a bit different in my life right now (and feeling a bit different) and I'm waiting to see if things might get better. I hope so. It might sound kind of up myself or whatever but I truly believe I've earnt it and deserve it.