MY OWN WORST NIGHTMARE

I have been on Zoloft for 15 years....and it has always worked. That sounds like where the problems began. The medication you took after the zoloft sounds like medication for Bipolar. My partner has Bipolar that's how I know. You have been through a lot, life has thrown you some very big challenges. You are still here and you still have the spirit to fight.....that is fantastic!  The only advice is to try to live one day at a time and try to find a little enjoyment in each day. As you go to bed think about that little enjoyable thing. It might just be walking in the park, or having a coffee somewhere, talking to you kids.  Focus on the little things and as you do your mind will become more attunded to thinking positively and hopefully the negative thoughts will start to go. If you do have a negative thought or memory, immediately catch it and follow it with something positive. Very gradually things will  start to get better. You need also to make sure you are looking after your health and eating properly if you can.  Try to think about how you can get some better accommodation. It is not good for you to sleep in your car all the time.  I have some students from Africa ( refugees). They have had the most awful things happen in their lives but they have great faith and they can turn there lives around and move on from their awful past. I asked one of them what she did to turn off the bad memories and she said "I sing loudly".  Music is very healing. Maybe that might help you. Maybe one day you will write a book.....but right now just take things one day at a time. Rusty
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