Since I last posted I guess a lot has happened. I moved out of my parents home and into my grandmothers. They thought it would be a more stable environment. In all actuality it was probably a worse enviroment for me in terms of... authority I guess you could say. I can talk her into letting me go anywhere at anytime. Mostly because when I'm around her I'm polite and sweet. I can't be any other way around her because it's ingrained into me to sit up straight, don't tell dirty jokes, and always smile when around her. It wears me out to be honest.
But yes. Uhm, I passed my fall classes but I failed one class this semester. English (my favorite subject) because... I lost momentum. I couldn't do it anymore. But I know that I'll be okay next year to focus and do what I need.
So I'm taking three AP classes (Environmental, Literature, and Government) and I'm going out for the girls bowling team. I'm also, most likely, going to be working at A&W. Fun, yeah? But it'll be difficult, and taxing. But I'll do it. I feel, right now, as though I can.
My moods are... okay. They've become a little more level as of late. Except when I'm with my best friend Steven. He says one thing to me and I'm either up the wall with anger, happy as fucking can be, or so sad that I want to crawl into a hole and die. Usually, he doesn't even know that he effects me like that. He's such an oblivious little fairy space dumpling (Cortney's term, not mine).
But it should be okay, right? I mean, it will be okay. My friend Amanda says that it will be as long as I work for it. I have to have the courage to be happy and if I do then everything will go its course. But of course nothing like that is ever so easy. But I trust her to know what she's talking about. She's been through some... similar situations and she's gotten through them stronger and better than before. Man, I sound like a dork, don't I? But I truly believe... Or at least I truly want to believe, that I can do better.
So that's my update. I won't go into further detail because I don't have time. I'm tired and going to bed. Besides, Dena's home and I'm going to hang out with her for a bit (Steven's mom, she's pretty cool).
