Please Help.

It's good to write these things out, don't feel afraid or ashamed, I feel it's better to write what your going through when your at a very dark low depressive state then other options i.e. drugs or self harm because drugs and self harm hurt you even further from my personal experience, so don't be afraid to write down all the bad stuff if it helps you get through for one more day and welcome this is great place to be among people who understand.

Kittykat<3

I am sorry you feel the way you do.  You deserve happiness just as much as anyone else in this world.  forgive yourself as this is not your fault.  pamper yourself when you can.  get away from your abuser.  find a good doctor. take one moment at a time and dont do more than you can handle.  god bless you.  I know you'll make it, you are stronger than you think.

...This really hits close to what I've experienced, so I want to say that it's cureable, despite anything... I've been depressed for three years now, my depression hasn't let up yet; but it's working it's way out....

You're not alone. That's really the most important realization you have to make. And people will pull through - have to pull through.

I really hope things work out for you... and remember that, with time, with the right cures... time can cure all wounds. (god, that sounded corny)