I wrote this on a blog website which I have everyone who knows me. I published it to diary, afraid of what people will say. I wrote this to tell who I really am, because I've been called fake so many times... Please message me back.. Thank you
The real me cannot remember the last time I have been truly happy.
I am afraid of what people say about me.
I do not understand how daughters can lover their fathers
I am scared shitless of my so called father.
I am so insecure of my weight, due to people I wish were never in my life.
I look at myself and see nothing but ugly.
The real me has to see a therapist every week, for two hours..Since last YEAR.
I have been depressed since I was 10.
I take showers many times a day so I can cry, without my mom knowing.
I feel like I have no friends, and that I am hated by everyone.
I believe that there is no purpose for me to live.
I know that I am a fuck up, and cannot do anything right.
I've been abused mentally, for sixteen years straight.
I want to be loved, and I want to trust.
When people say bad things about me, I feel like I should die.
I hurt myself intentionally, because I feel like I deserve it.
I see people being happy, and wish I could be like them.
I have a hard time believing that I am a "good person".
It feels like God does not even love me.
Its difficult to want to go anywhere with friends, because I just want to be alone.
My worst fear of being alone, is my reality.
The real me is always sad.
I want to be accepted, and feel accomplished.
I am the most un-intelligent person alive.
I want to run away, so no one knows me, so I am alone.
This is not even half of the real me.
The real me wants help.
Please help me.
It's good to write these things out, don't feel afraid or ashamed, I feel it's better to write what your going through when your at a very dark low depressive state then other options i.e. drugs or self harm because drugs and self harm hurt you even further from my personal experience, so don't be afraid to write down all the bad stuff if it helps you get through for one more day and welcome this is great place to be among people who understand.
Kittykat<3