simple depression is hard for familys to understand and I think they get angry at you if they cant firgure out or fix the problem or a simple snap out of it thing. sometimes when you down it is good to vent to release it i guess so that you can sleep. other times you want to be jus left alone and not talk . texing ok cause in a text you dont have to be upbeat or carry on a conversation you just simple text which is easier. my family i think gets mad at me when i dont want to anwser the phone when i am down and when i do then they get mad cause i sound down. i learn to not always show when i am down cause makes other people down and or even worse mad that you are down. I dont stay down alot like i used to i have postive and happy days but when i get down sometimes you dont want to explain to the world why you are down when people understand it would be different but when you feel that no one really and truly listens to why  your down you give up maybe i dont want to explain anymore it is what it is. not one time i ever been right anyway so why would i want to explain something just to have someone yell at me or be mean to me like snap out of it or you hurting me . no one that is depressed is trying to hurt anyone and or piss you off cause there moods dont match what you think they should . I pick up on tones of voices very good and can tell when someone making fun of me someone being mean to me or someone knows about my past something in someone phone call yesterday told me they knew about my past that made me very nervous on how??? I dont pay attention things like i used to and dont worry so much about people likeing me but it does kill my sprit to feel i do nothing right. when i am down it seems like people are angry at me so i just try to stay away from the phone untill i want to talk or get more happy then i talk but that not good enough it is almost like WHY DIDNT YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?? I dont want my family to worry and i know there care but why isnt it ok to feel down every now and again why do you have to be perfect to please anyone? and when i am down and i dont answer it is just because i dont want to bring what i feel upon anyone else and snap out of it isnt always the right thing to say i dont think people truly understand what true depression feels like when you blame someone for being down what do you think that does to someone self esttem that may seem up but they know they have to be so that people wont be ugly to them. i have learn in 3 years that you dont really talk to people about depression or sadness but you can talk when you happy but not to happy or people wont llike that either. what i feel most of the time is my moods have to be even all the time to make people want to talk to me . when i am down i dont really want to talk about it i spent three years that way and i know that nothing i said or done made someone understand . i dont like anything that is about depression sadnesss hopeness always trying to smile even if inside you want to cry always thinking you got to be happy so you dont make others made or hate you. so many days i have been postive and upbeat because i liked the changes in my life i am proud of what i am trying to do in it but others days when i am down even if you know people care you dont want to talk about why are you down? or are you taking your medicince you honestly want to cry it out then get over it . somedays feel hopeless and things will never be better and somedays you just feel sad. there is no book of instrustion to go with someone depressed sometimes left them just work it out dont force them to be upbeat or talk to you and if they text everthing fine they call you when they feel better dont get ugly if you cant make them feel better or hateful like snap out of it. there is no reason that depression comes and goes with me somedays i just feel happy and want to do things and sometimes i just feel sad. sometimes everything is so possible and other times nothing seems possible . somedays i feel that i am here because God has a plan for my life unseen yet and sometimes i feel it is mistake in people lives that i am here at all. but those are the days i pull myself out writing is the way i release and not family. my family is great but if i dont write i really dont release anything and yes a talk and laugh can bring sprits up but sometimes you have to let someone write it out or get it out  what is on there mind and then let it go. i like writing more then talking no one can yell at you no one can laugh at you and you have the right to express whatever you want. sometimes when i write i am able to go to sleep i am able to laugh the next hour because everything i feel atleast goes somewhere i guess. I dont know why i wrote this at all other than i know people on this site have had to feel like no one truly understands like there really isnt hope and like you got to be happy to have people around and when your sad you really dont want to talk about it like family thinks you do. And the biggest thing all of is why are you depressed???????? you have to know why????? what is going on????? how many people out there have no idea why you wake up in tears why you feel down and many times have i heard you know why you were fine the morning. ??? someone has tohave heard that why ????? there is no reason for when depression comes on sometimes nobody says anything and or i not thinking anything and i just can cry . depression for many i would think isnt about something being wrong it isnt a fix you can say snap out of it and makes family mad when you cant tell them why. Today I am very much ok and in a okay mood . but i needed to say that being down is not a crime and not something you have to fix for someone but maybe something you can deal with enough to let someone call if when they want to not to make someone feel like they all me mad at me if i dont. and depressed person doesnt need you to over care it is something that they cant always change and sometimes to over care makes someone feel more like a failure or not right . just let them me them untill they feel better . you can talk to them but dont make them feel stupid or something wrong with them or over do it . just me you and let them work it out . depression is not meant to piss people off. it simplely is just something that comes and goes and sometimes it can last longer sometimes for me it is a good cry untill it puts me to sleep. then tommorrow another day . dont take depression personal or it is a charcter flaw. it is not either