Everytime I feel God gives me something good in my life I feel the devil comes into my life and takes it right away. God gave me a perfect job and Anixiety attacks took it away . It started very quick when had rain/ ice on night in georgia and I slide off the road . The next day I became scared to drive I had already quit a job to take a new job . The scaredmess didnt go away. I thought I was going to slide again. The next week we had snow and ice again the scareness built inside me into i going to go off the road again. I traded cars because i became scared to drive that one the wheels were not good and i was scared of the car so i thought this would end the problem . then came rain in new car and night driving the scareness was in me. i took every thing that has happen while driving and created a fear on it . once i hydroplained in the rain i had car accidents before . i slide in ice. i created in my head a nightmare and everytime i got into that car i focused what bad things could happen from big trucks and sliding off the road to what if it rains today and half to drive back tonight in the dark while it raining . i created a fear from just sliding off into the ice once and began to think about all the other times things have happen. I lost a job i wanted so bad today because God gave me something good a awesome job! and the devil took it away. FEAR .. I was on abilify and depression meds and bi polar meds all at once i thought it was too much medicine so i stop the abilify for made two weeks I dont know if this could do it or was just plain fear that did it . Depression is thing that controls your life you feel your no good and never going to get anything good in life . you feel when you do something is going to come along and take it away. today that ahppen it is my fault but within two weeks I tried mutiple times to see the doctor and explain what happens i got some more medicine but it did not work for me . for four years I have felt in the way of my life not living sadness extreme depression . i was finally leveling out and God agve me a good job and I created such fears in my own head that i coudlnt tell what was happening from what was real . I am scared that nothing good left for me. when people look in my eyes sometimes I smile but there is alot sadness there . nothing good but this job has happen to me and fear destroy it i am unsure what will happen to me next . I let down my family let down my self and destroy my hopes of became someone and finally letting the past go. I try not to tell jobs i am on medincine or that i get depressed because no one will hire me but when something goes wrong you want to explain. today i feel like i lost my only hope of letting go of depression and giving hope a real chance . today fear won and i lost but i tried to seek help many times in two weeks . I could have fix the probelm but time ran out .