TIRED OF FEELING THIS WAY!!

sherrigibs Living With It Send Message Subscribe: sherrigibs

Tuesday, September 08, 2009
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We all felt alot same feeling and it helps so much to know your not alone or that someone been through something before. My life seems so different than others I wish it was just depression that controlled me. I feel inside I lost not only me but people i love. I feel hopeful somedays and other if yo...

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Tired
Judy
Tuesday, September 08, 2009 at 10:00 AM

Hi, Sherri - my heart goes out to you and I feel like I understand you a little better now since you wrote more about what's going on. Are the family members that treat you like this people that you have to be around very much? If not, is it possible to avoid them? I was also wondering if you are seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist for the depression. A therapist could really help you deal with how you respond to the way people treat you and help you recognize the good you have inside you. What's important is not what you think others think of you, but how you judge yourself and right now, it sounds like you're letting them influence your beliefs about yourself. It sounds like you're trying to turn your life around and that the whole problem might have been caused by having a condition you didn't know you had. That's not your fault. You are doing the best you can and you don't have to answer to other people about your past. I'm wondering if you live in a small town, since it seems like your family has some influence over what other people know about you. It's not their business and if they are ruining job possibilities for you, it is SO WRONG. I hope you can get some support in moving forward with what you want to do, maybe it will mean having no contact with them for a while. Why would you want to be around people who don't trust you or believe you?

I hope you'll keep writing and let us know how you're doing!

re: Tired
sherrigibs
Tuesday, September 08, 2009 at 11:44 PM

Thank you for always writing to me it feels like everyone against me like I do nothing right at all. people watch my every word and thoughts and actions. I am kid like in most ways such a kid at heart . last night i got some candy for the group at work i was playing with all them not my shift but another and suddenly i felt like they thought something wrong with me just by being a kid at heart. and then i thought about someone that i miss being around my newphew and cried most part of the night on and off just about how i wish people would just stop being so hard on my every move. I dont understand how to be pefectly normal one solid mood i am either happy or sad and sometimes both at the same time. last night was mix between thinking someone my nephew didnt love me or just thinking how can trying to be nice go wrong. I think my family like my nephew and everyone tired of dealing with this stuff so there done with me then other times i feel they still love me. I feel even when i play with people there tare it apart. I feel stupid when i try to be nice and the same when i am sad. i want to lay in bed right now all day not not move at all. people dont get true depression in my life it been had to be drugs or has to be this. but depression just that depressions. and when i can laugh and forget about sometimes it makes me so happy. thank you for listen every single time thanks so very much.

re: re: Tired
Judy
Wednesday, September 09, 2009 at 08:53 AM

You are welcome! Maybe I've asked you this before, but are you taking any antidepressants or seeing a therapist? I think that could help you a lot with these sudden feelings of people thinking you're stupid or not liking you. That is depression talking, not your rational mind and I know what it's like. You believe all that negative stuff is the truth, even when your rational mind tells you it isn't. It takes a lot of practice and reinforcement to get past that. I can tell that you're pretty depressed and it's very hard to climb out of that without help. Sometimes we just can't do it all by ourselves, so if you're not already working with someone, I hope you will do that.

Take care and let me know how you're doing.

Judy

It is never too late to start over...
Merely Me
Wednesday, September 09, 2009 at 02:57 PM

Hi there

I have been reading your posts and...I think a lot of folk can relate to many of your feelings. But I guess the thing is...what do you want to do with your life at this point in time and how can you make that happen?

What are some teeny tiny baby steps that you can take to feeling better? What actions can you take...to start a new day? You cannot wait for your life to change on its own...you must take some control. There is a time to emote...and to dwell in the land of feelings but there must also be the balance of some action.

When you are depressed...it is easy to get trapped into feeling helpless and hopeless...but this feeling is seldom accurate. We have choices and...sometimes we might not like those choices but they are there.

I am confident that you have the inner resolve to make some changes in your life. I am hoping that the next time you write...no matter if you succeed or fail...that you tell us how you tried to make some changes...in order to feel better.

Please hang in there....we are listening and hoping for the best for you!