When I was 11 years old I had an attack of appendicitis. Unfortunately I was at Boy Scout camp and by the time I got to the hospital my appendix had burst and peritonitis had set in. But that was only the beginning. I also was a victim of a hospital staph infection epidemic that almost killed me. After that episode I completely changed. I was less confident, lost a lot of friends, was tired all the time but, this being 1958, I was at a loss to explain it.

It wasn't until 4-5 years ago that science discovered that severe childhood infections cause changes in the brain that can lead to severe depression and at worst OCD.

Thank God (I guess) I only have Double Depression.

I was a self medicator in the early days because the psychotropic drugs were god-awful in their side effects. (I ended up an alcoholic and had to quit drinking) Then in the early 80's I gave up all drugs except alcohol as I was getting some relief from more targeted tricyclics. In 1990 I started on SSRI's and that was the step that allowed me to move on to a sucessful career.

I am now semi retired but as I age I have to take specialized cocktails which are managed by a brilliant Shrink I found who is a brain chemistry specialist. (Freudian stuff has no effect on me)  

I guess the message I would like to send to fellow sufferers is don't let this disorder overwhelm you. Sitting alone in a room and crying only makes it worse. (Been there done that; complete with suicide attempts) When you BEGIN to fall into a major episode (which I still do about once a month) distract yourself. Quit what you are doing and read a book that is easy to manage. Watch a crappy show on TV (I am partial to bad horror movies) Just don't wait until your brain gets an icy grip on your outlook.

Also there are a lot of new meds out there that can help. I combine Lexapro and Provigil and it has worked wonders on my depression. As a bonus it has helped my concentration which has been a lifelong struggle.

Find a specialist who KNOWS how these things work. I always know when a sufferer has been to the Internist as they come out with a scrip for Zoloft. (What is it about Zoloft that has made it the default drug for physicians that don't know what they're doing?) 

In the meantime put one foot in front of the other and keep going!

BTW I tried Cymbalta recently as a replacement for Lexapro and for the first time I had a severe case of SSRI withdrawel. The drug companies don't like to talk about it but it exists and can last for months. Be careful!